Chapter 4 " Not mine "

Eh? San daw? Tama ba yung narinig ko? Kama? I'm too clouded with the thought of spending time with him to the point of foolishness. Ngayon ko lang naintidihan yung sinabi niya kanina. Is that how he perceived me? An easy to get woman just because I kissed him? Biglang kumulo ang ulo ko sa ideyang yun.  

" What the- " I can't even finish my sentence because he keeps dragging me. He really thinks I'm easy huh.

" Wait! " I forcefully grab my hand from his hold.

Grabe porket matangkad siya kaya kung mahatak wagas! Eh di ikaw na mahaba ang biyas! I screamed in my head. Akalain mong hihingalin ka lang dahil pa sa pag hatak niya. Imagine being dragged by a 6 footer. Sinong di hihingalin don?

He gave me the why-did-you-stop look. Aba! Siya pa ngayon itong confused. Maybe he's just pretending or masking his true intention. The kiss earlier probably gave him the idea how willing I am to become his bed warmer. Well he's wrong but my inner self castigate me. Telling me how two-faced I am. Whatever!

" What did you say earlier? " Malamig kong usal. 

" What? " He really look so confused for a moment but then he remembered now he's hiding an amuse grin. Sinasabi ko na nga ba manyakis rin to. I thought he's different but oh well men are men after all.

" Why? Do you want us to do that? " He is obviously amused habang ako mukhang stupid dito. Why is he asking like I'm the one who's thirsty for it? Like duh hindi ba Athena? You're literally drooling over him earlier.

" Oo naman! " Wala sa sarili kong sagot. Mukhang nagulat din siya. Okay I want to die right now.They said that what comes in your mouth is true. Why? Because that's the product of your heart. Lahat ng lumalabas sa bibig ng tao ay nanggagaling sa puso. So, stop denying.

" N-no of course not! " Bawi ko. Pinamulahan na ako ng mukha at ramdam ko ang pag iinit hanggang batok ko. Shemsss nakakahiya ka Athena. I don't know how many times I'll put myself in the mud today. Siguro sobrang disappointed ng guardian angel ko sakin. He must be mortified to what I'm doing right now.

Humahalaklak si Elijah.

Nagulat ako at napatitig sa kaniya. Bakit ganon? My breath hitched. Ang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko? Weird. Posible pa lang tumigil ang pag hinga dahil lang sa pag tawa.

Nag iwas ako ng tingin. I click my tongue and glared at him. 

" Bahala ka nga diyan! " Then I started walking away. Ayoko nito I shook my head trying to forget what I am thinking earlier. Hindi pwede pero diba sabi ko susubukan ko? You're crazy Athena! I frustratedly groan and curse myself. Ano ba talagang gusto ko?

" H-hey! I am sorry! " He apologized and went straight ahead beside me. I felt his hand just ceminter away from my back. Guiding me as we continue on walking.

" Hindi naman ako galit " hindi ko pa rin siya matignan. Ayoko nahihiya ako. Sobrang dami kong kahihiyang nagawa tapos ngayon nag iinarte pa ako. I'm not entitled to act this way, that's why.

You stupid girl! Kakapakilala mo lang. Ano in love kana agad? Porket guwapo ganon? He has a lot of money. I added.

" Then why you're not looking at me? " He asked seriously. Because I might do something crazy if I look at you. Sinasabayan niya ako sa pag lalakad. I'm aware that he's brown eyes are pointed at me. Though feeling concious I refused to give him any attention. I bit my lips to stop my smile. Masama ba kung sasabihin ko na feeling ko ang ganda ko? His stares are like a serum that moisturizes my skin. That's why I feel pretty. Gusto niya ba ako? I surely sound so delusional.

Hindi ko na siya sinagot kasi andito na pala kami sa tapat ng bahay. Huminto ako at humarap sa kaniya. Ang daya naman.

Kinabisado ko yung mga mapupungay niyang mga mata, mapilantik na mga pilik mata, matangos na ilong, makinis na mukha at magandang hubog ng katawan. Eh? Bakit pati iyon? See Athena you're lusting over him. Well who wouldn't? I shrugged internally.

" This is where I live" pointing out my index finger towards our house.

He stared at me like I am some kind of puzzle. Kanina pa siya ganito at ayokong bigyan ng anong kahulugan kung bakit. Maybe he feels disgusted because I'm poor. Another reason is he just tired from walking.

Simple lang yung bahay namin. Gaya ng tipikal na bahay ng mga pilipino. May halaman sa labas, maraming tsismosa at higit sa lahat marami batang nag lalaro kahit hinahabol na ng mga barangay tanod. I thank God because some of them are in the comfort of their home. So, no one sees him today. You know the toxic trait of filipinos once they saw you mingling with high profiled individual. It's either they will labeled you as a gold digger or a prostitute.

The worst thing is they will not stop until you gave them a commission. That's how money controls the human mind. Most especially the desperate and ambitious.

Dahil gusto nila kapag umangat ka, kasama sila. If not you should also stay in the ground like them. Para bang wala kang karapatang umangat kung hindi sila kasama. Pathetic, charitable and a pity. 

'Sige na umalis kana. Salamat sa pag hatid' Lowkey pushing him away but he seems rooted at the ground.

I know it's rude not inviting him in.Kaso ayoko naman siyang papasukin sa bahay ko. Inaalala ko rin kasi yung sasabihin ng lola ko. She will think he's my boyfriend. Duh! Advance mag- isip? Sa bahay mo siya papapasukin hindi sa buhay mo! I know but you know how judgemental she is.

Besides, gusto ko na siyang kalimutan. Agad-agad dahil ayoko umasa na siya na yun. Mayaman siya at mahirap lang ako. Let's be realistic okay? That's enough reason to cut the cords. Though it hurts, I believe in time he will be forgotten by me. Elijah can too.

Just like what I said fairytails are for those rich people.

Makukuha mo lahat ng gusto mo pati taong mahal mo kung mayaman ka. Hindi ako mayaman kaya hindi ko siya makukuha. That's the rule of society. Firm and unbreakable.

He's not mine and forever will not be mine.