Chapter 10

  “W-What?”

The words couldn’t form in my mouth any better than my thoughts tousled in my brain. What did he just say? A mate bond?

  I took deep, raspy breaths all of a sudden, my lungs felt empty and bleak, like a cold room being sucked of its air and life. I swallowed and looked away, a bump at the base of my throat serving as a block in the nervous passage. His words had certainly struck a nervous core in me, littering goosebumps all over my skin like confetti.

  “Alruin?” he called warmly and squeezed my palm again. I gasped at him blankly, “Are you okay?”

Of course, I wasn’t!

 I was stunned by this offer that had sprang out of the blue! 

Not once in five years had Lorak mentioned or even hinted at anything like this. It had always been pure romance and raw, crazy sex on a regular basis…that was our show of love. The walks, the dates, the kisses,the sex…but a mate bond? It wasn’t just crazy, but audacious.

    Staring into his eyes now, I couldn't find the void I had once seen. I had asked him about it, why his eyes appeared so hollow at times and that was when I had found out that Lorak and I had something in common; we had both lost our mates. But his fate wasn’t as cruel as mine, he didn’t taste the acrid taint of betrayal, but the sorrow of a loss. 

  I thought I’d bear a weight on my shoulders after I had found out about the loss of Lorak’s mate, but not once did he ever make me feel like I wasn’t good enough to fill that void, even though he had been single for years until he found me. Lorak was simple and loving and so I thought he’d love to keep our relationship the way things were.

But now a mate bond? Goddess me!

    “I know this sprang up from nowhere, my Moonbeam-”

No kidding! But that nickname made my insides curl with a buzz of butterflies.

  “But I have had it on my mind for some time now, I didn't just say it out loud.”

Feeling the need to chirp in something, I asked, “Why though?”

I should have kept quiet!

Goddess!

I was still so stunned that my voice sounded like the croak of a frog! My cheeks heated up instantly and the way the edges of his eyes twisted with humor revealed that he noticed my hysteria.

  He beamed with quiet affection and a warm thumb caressed my cheek, “Because you’re now one of us, officially. They love you and of course, they have to. Silvermoon only welcomes people they see something great in.” his eyes travelled across the crowd and back to me, “The heat from their cheers has fueled something in me, Alruin. I’ve felt it burning for years now, but nothing as intense as this. My feelings for you…they’re driving me mad.”

  His pupils dilated, veins crawling into the corners of his eyes as they darkened with a hunger and intensity that pooled an excited heat at the base of my stomach. He pulled my body closer to his and, Goddess! I melted in his grip without hesitation!

  “I want to take us to the next level, Alruin.” He stated firmly, “I want us to build a home and grow a beautiful garden and ride horses while we drink good wine and litter it on our chests.” He smirked and a sharp laughter burst out of my throat. His eyes grew serious and in that moment, in the warmth of his intimacy, I had never felt safer. Then, his voice wafted into my ears, warm, deep and assuring. “I want to protect you, my moonbeam.”

I swallowed, forcing the blop of saliva down my parched throat. His words comforted me like a woolen jacket in the winter, his eyes that reflected the passionate love he held for me warmed my heart…but I just couldn't ignore the cold fear gnawing at my spine.

  A looming feeling of doubt that I couldn't explain nor comprehend. A blood-curdling hesitation that grew with the realization that Lorak was my future and he was so close to me, but my past could be even closer than I thought.

  I took a shaky breath, my lips quivering along with the tip of my fingers.

“Alruin, did I…say something wrong?” Lorak suddenly asked, his thick eyebrows knitting questioningly.

My heart suddenly jolted for the fear of being misunderstood by Lorak and I looked into his beautiful eyes once again, “No, not at all, my flame,” I said tremulously, springing up the nickname I knew that he loved so much. “Lorak, I take you very seriously. You’re literally the most important person in my life and I cherish our love more than anything else, you know that, don’t you?”

  He nodded, his radiant eyes searching mine with a keen interest that made my heart race.

I sighed, why lie to him or even try to sugarcoat it?

  “I’m scared…” I revealed, but took a step back when he moved in closer to comfort me. “No, Lorak, I don't mean that I am scared now or of the people. I can still feel the pain of what the last matebond did to me. I’m sorry, I thought I would be over it by now…”

 I scoffed wryly, “I thought our shadows were only supposed to be with us in the dark…but even in the gleaming light of hope, I can still feel the haunting shadows of my past right next to me…and it hurts, Lorak…it hurts.”

    His eyes grew compassionate and they stabbed my chest like frosty daggers. I had grown to hate looking like the same person I did five years ago in the presence of Lorak. I loathed how easily the past crumbled my happiness…I didn’t want those beautiful steel-gray eyes to ever look at me with the same pity they held five years ago, but for all his good will, my lover couldn’t hide the emotion in his eyes.

    “I understand you, my moonbeam,” he said, drawing me into the warmth of his broad chest. I sniffled back the tears that threatened at the cusps of my eyelids and bit my lip hard. “I should have known better-”

“Lorak this has nothing to do with you, I promise,” I mumbled softly, my cheeks brushing against his warm, comfortable chest with each word, “It’s me. You’re perfect, my flame and I want to be perfect for you too. I want to convince myself that I deserve your love. I…I am not sure I do now…so I-I can’t give you a reply now, I will have to think about it..”

  He weaved his fingers through my thick hair, covering the back of my head gently with his warm palm. He pressed my face further into his chest and my nostrils flared instantly. His scent drove me crazy! 

The fragrant medley of vanilla resin and black cedar flowed into my nostrils, numbing my senses gradually and sending hot bursts of fire through my body.

  “You are more than perfect, Moonbeam,” he cooed softly and my heart fluttered when he planted a soft kiss on my forehead. “I will keep telling you that until you believe it, okay? You deserve everything good and I will give it to you. Take your time, I will always be here for you.”

He meant it…and I knew he did.

What was the goddess trying to portray? Malric would have never said these words to me, not in a million years! So, why did his face still sporadically pop up at the back of my mind?

  “Now,” He cupped my cheeks and smiled, “Cheer up! I know that you are very excited about the upcoming training!” he said as we swayed side by side, back to his beautiful house.

My heart jolted with excitement and immediately, a beaming smile permeated color to my face. “Oh, Lorak!” I moaned with a sigh of satisfaction, “You have no idea how long I have waited to finally be able to participate in this training!”

  To represent Silvermoon at the annual joint training between three packs, Lorak had stressed that the elders insisted on me being a member first. I was elated! A bit tense, but elated!

Lorak chuckled, his charming smile stretching the edges of his captivating eyes. I couldn’t stop looking at him under the glow of the streetlights. An epitome of perfection! And not just to me, everyone loved Lorak…but he was mine. 

All mine.

  “This is crazy though. I get to be the leader of the medical team while my boyfriend,"I stressed the last word with pride, pushing my chest out as I sauntered cockily, much to his amusement, " is the lead of Silvermoon’s team. I can’t wait for you to lead me…daddy.”

His eyes widened and he gasped at me in shock, “You dirty little-”

I grinned with an innocent shrug and we both burst into a feat of laughter, swinging each other’s arms as we walked on into the night.

  “I’m so glad we are going together, Moonbeam. This is just perfect!”

“Right? I heard the scenery there is absolutely marvelous!” I exclaimed, my heart buzzing with excitement. “I really can’t wait.”

“Me neither, baby…me neither.”