Chapter Six

Faith sat through the final day of conferences on Friday, taking copious notes. Although she was extremely versed in accounting already, the company she’d joined was in manufacturing, an industry she had no prior experience in.

So, she was absorbing as much as she possibly could, from the guest lectures, from the Q&A sessions, and from the mixers each evening. She’d made an amazing number of contacts, and was pleasantly surprised to discover more than one established, industry-specific resource group available to her that consisted of seasoned pros.

The week to date had been filled to bursting with activity – at least, until it was bedtime.

Then, like clockwork all week long, Rick popped unbidden into her mind without fail.

Rick Connor.

She sighed as she returned to her hotel room for the final night.

He was so amazingly hot. But also, he just seemed to bring something out of her. This inexplicable urge to just tell him anything and everything about herself, that made her want to fling open the door to her psyche, her inner sanctum, and invite him all the way in.

That part made her very, very nervous. That part was what had her wound so tightly.

As smooth as Kevin was, he never even came close to getting in all the way, Faith realized. And look at all the damage he still managed to do.

That. That right there.

That was what had her on the ragged edge.

Her delicate features took on a scowl.

Even though she had never fully lowered her guard with him, Kevin had handed her the biggest hurt she’d ever felt, one that almost killed her soul.

And now, she realized, she’d met a man who if allowed in all the way would have the capability to decimate her, not just wound her.

No wonder she was on the verge of panic when it came to Rick Connor.

She frowned, considering her choices as she prepacked some of her things in preparation for her morning flight home.

Should she just put a stop to this, avoid it altogether? It was so, so tempting to crawl right back inside herself, and just learn how to somehow be okay with being alone forever.

But she remembered how Rick had looked at her, the way his lips felt on hers, the shock she felt at first when he had held her, followed by a flood of feeling protected and cherished and well, home, like in his arms was exactly where she was meant to be. She didn’t know how else to describe it.

The sensation had almost buckled her knees. She’d never known that intriguing combination of primal lust and deep trust before, with anyone.

Not that you’ve gotten around that much, her inner voice teased a bit.

Faith’s eyebrows peaked in response to that.

There’d only been three men, in total, she’d been seriously interested in through her life up until now, and only two lovers, one in college, and then the idiot now ex-husband of hers.

But, she admitted to herself in the privacy of her mind, none of them had stirred anything in her that even came close to what she felt right now. And she knew she’d have to clamp down on the crippling fear somehow to explore her feelings.

Resolved, she pulled out her phone, navigated to the Book Keepers website, clicked the “Contact Us” button and created a message.

Then she held her breath, hit “send” before she could chicken out, and headed to the shower.

***

The topic of Faith’s internal debate had changed into sweats and his favorite t-shirt and cracked open a beer.

Rick was midway through the third page of a project he was working on when he heard the chime that meant a new email coming through the store website.

He went over to his computer, called up the Book Keeper’s company email, and grinned from ear to ear as he read the newest one. He typed a response and hit send.

***

Twenty minutes later, Faith stepped out of the shower, wound towels around her wet hair and body, and went to the sink to brush her teeth.

A buzz indicated new email activity on her phone. She opened her email browser, read Rick’s response, and giggled like a teenager.

Faith now had a dinner date for Sunday at six p.m.

***

It was absolutely, positively never ever going to arrive. Rick was sure of it. It seemed like an eternity had passed since he had flipped the Open sign on and unlocked the door at ten a.m. Sunday morning.

It was now a little before two.

Four hours down, four to go.

Four.

Jesus.

He ran his hands through his hair.

The reverie was shattered by the delicate peal of the doorbell. He fixed a polite grin on his face, willed himself to concentrate, and bid his customers welcome.

***

Down the block, Faith was already driving herself crazy trying to decide what the hell to wear.

She sincerely hadn’t given a tinker’s damn about her appearance in over a year - and her self-esteem was so battered she was on the verge of a panic attack over it.

In desperation she called her sister Jandy, and paced, listening to it ring and ring.

“Come on, come on, pick up, I need you, dammit,” she grumbled.

And swore when it went to voicemail.

She left a message, hung up, and almost threw the phone in frustration - then almost flung it from fright when it rang in her hand.

“Hey little sis, what’s up?” Jandy said.

“Oh my god, I am glad you called. Can you come over? I need you.”

Concern crept into Jandy’s voice.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

“I have a freakin date and I have no freakin clue what to wear.”

A long pause.

“You. Have a date. Like, you finally ventured out of your little cocoon, and met somebody, and you have a date? Seriously?”

“Smartass. If you don’t want to help just say so.”

“No, no, no, come on now, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just…surprised is all. I’m on my way, okay? Go take a hot bath, calm down, we’ll get you looking fabulous. Love you, kiddo, see you in a bit.”

Faith smiled, despite her current mood. Jandy always seemed to know exactly how to say exactly what she needed to hear.

Best big sister ever, she thought as she headed upstairs to draw that hot bath. 

As the tub filled, she added a lavender and jasmine bath bomb, and the scent wafting up with the steam soothed her troubled spirit.

She stripped down and climbed in slowly, sighing as the heat worked its way into her bones. She leaned back, closed her eyes, and let her mind drift, although she had a hunch where it would go.

Thirty minutes later, Faith reached for the drain, opened it, and stepped out onto the bathmat. She had toweled off and had just slipped into her robe when she heard Jandy come in downstairs.

“Hey kiddo,” her sister called up.

“Hey,” she called back. “Thanks for coming. Be right down.”

“No rush. Got coffee, or would you rather have tea?”

“The English, please.”

As she went downstairs, she heard Jandy milling around in the kitchen, humming to herself. Faith paused in the doorway and watched her for a moment.

Jandy was the oldest, but most who saw her would have never guessed she was over forty. Brown eyes that always smiled, closely cropped hair the same color, and a lively and sweet spirit. At twenty-four she had become the second mom to her siblings when their mother had gotten sick.

Her sister noticed her and came over with arms outstretched.

“Come here, girly,” Jandy said, and scooped her up in a big hug. “Now. Tell me all about this guy. He must be pretty damn special.”

Faith grinned, sat at the kitchen table and propped her face in her hands.

“He is. He’s literally tall, dark, and handsome, and runs the bookstore two blocks from here. I got bored with myself last Saturday night, and I could hear you in my head telling me to not be a shut-in. So, I got dressed, and went to check out the place.”

“Ah, yes, you and books,” Jandy smiled as she handed Faith a cup. “A love affair that’s well documented.”

She sat, sipped, made a face, and reached for the sugar.

“Continue.”

“Yes, well, that place is amazing,” Faith said. “I was standing there just taking it all in, and he spoke to me, and I turned around. And Jandy, my God, he’s pretty.”

Jandy laughed.

“You’re blushing!”

Faith’s shoulders hunched a bit.

“If you saw him, you’d understand.”

“Hmmm. One of those that cause naughty thoughts?”

Now Faith laughed.

“Geez, you know me way too well. Anyway…,” she drank, contemplated.

“So, what’s the problem? Why the panic over what to wear? Knowing you, you probably just threw on that ratty sweatshirt and pulled your hair up. So, anything you pick tonight is going to be an improvement,” Jandy teased, jostling Faith with her elbow.

“Well, he wasn’t deterred by that sweatshirt, or the ponytail, or even no makeup,” Faith sighed. “We wound up going down to Mama J’s for dinner, and talking a while, and he kissed me. Then, he asked me out for the next night. I couldn’t go, I had that trip this week. But we’re meeting for dinner tonight.”

“I say again, what’s the problem here? Sounds like a nice guy, and you’re obviously attracted to each other. What’s going on with you?”

“Tonight’s a real date, like, an official date. I insisted on going Dutch last weekend.”

“Oh,” Jandy said, understanding. “And you are terrified.”

“Completely.”

“Oh honey,” Jandy said, holding her hand. “Faith, you can’t let what Kevin did cripple you. You didn’t deserve that. Any of it. I know you’ve been hurt, and that you are scared to let anyone else in, but you’ve got to try to live again at some point. You’ll miss something, someone, wonderful if you don’t.”

“And,” she continued, holding Faith’s gaze, “the heart that’s meant to love you will know your worth, as a person, as a woman, and that heart will heal yours, if you let it.”

Jandy rose decisively.

“But for tonight, it’s just a meal, right? No major decisions to make tonight. So, let’s chillax a bit, and let’s go see about what to wear, okay?”

Faith straightened her shoulders.

“Thanks, sis. You always know just what to say.”

Leading the way up the stairs, she said, “I was thinking the royal blue sweater… and ‘chillax’? Really?” and laughed.