Live as her

“Thank you, Andy. I owe you this one. I promise to write a good one for you,”

Andy rolled his eyes, and chuckled while tapping my shoulder. I know he is also having a hard time letting me go, I’m one of his best seller author, but I can’t move on, I can’t even move from my recent manuscript, and I think that would be very unfair.

“No need to do that, Vannah. I’m rich. I can still eat steak without those publishers,” He jokingly said, kaya hinampas ko sya ng bahagya, and I earned a hearty laugh with that. He looked at me and give me a genuine smile and caressed my back.

Minabuti ko nang manatili sa bansa, at hindi na ituloy ang proyekto na ginagawa ko ngayon, uuwi ako, at sisiguraduhin ko na pag sisisihan ng lalaki na ‘yon ang ginawa nya kay Sienna.

“Thank you, Andy. Let me know if you want to visit me in Alegradan,” I said, and what I said is actually true, he can visit me anytime, he became one of my closest friend, not just my boss. He took a good care of me, and always make sure that I am on my best self, and I can’t thank him enough for that.

I really wish these things didn’t happen, I feel bad for leaving him behind. I hate it—but I need it and my mom needs me right now, kahit hindi niya sabihin, alam ko na mas paborito niya sa Sie, but I don’t give a damn about that, I am aware that Sie needs more attention than me; she’s been through a lot, and I won’t be able to suffice any of that.

“Of course, I’ve heard so much about your country, don’t worry about me, Vannah. I am freakin’ and perfectly fine, I will call you when you have time, so let me know your whereabouts and say my hi to your mom, okay?” tinignan niya ang smartwatch na suot niya, “Go now, or else, you’ll be late on your flight,”

Tumango lang ako, at binigyan siya ng isang mahigpit na yakap, hinatid niya ako hanggang sa tapat ng taxi, hindi na ako nagpahatid sa kanya, dahil sobra sobra na ang utang na loob ko sa kanya.

Kumaway lang ako, bago tuluyang umandar ang sasakyan. I’m still holding the photo of my sister with the man she loved dearly, with a heartwrecking letter behind it.

I greeted my teeth, “Sisiguraduhin ko na maalala mo lahat nang sakit na ibinigay mo sa kapatid ko, whoever the fuck you are,” I muttered under my breath, nakita ko pa na sandaling tumingin sa akin ang taxi driver, pero itinuon din ang atensyon sa daan.

“ANAK, Are you sure that you will be staying here for good? I mean, you still have to work abroad, right? Your life is there,” Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses na tinanong ng nanay ko yon simula nang umuwi ako, at parehas lang naman ang sagot ko.

Tumango ako habang nag hihiwa nang ham para sa sandwich na ginagawa ko, kahapon pa ako nakauwi at hindi ko sinabi kay mommy, ngayon lang.

“And what? Kalimutan na lang ang nangyari kat Sie? While that man is living his life out there, unaware that he is the reason why someone took her own life, because of what? That stupid heart breaker fucker, there’s no hell that I would let that slide,”

“Then what will you do?” Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko sa tono ng boses nya—but in the end, I chose to ignored it.

I sighed, and put down the bread knife I was holding, “Just trust me, mom. I have plans, and don’t worry about it, I ain’t a killer, so you shouldn’t have to worry that you will wake up, me on the news who killed someone,”

Mahinang tawa ang pinakawalan namin parehas, bago sya tumango at kinuha ang purse niya.

“Alright, well, I’ll just go with my amigas, I can’t stay here for long, I want to unwind, I can’t stay all day at this freaking house,”

I nodded while chugging my milk, “Yeah, you should go out and have your time, I’ll just finish this then I’ll go back to finishing my manuscript,” she nodded and gave me a peck before exiting the kitchen.

Sakto naman ang pag tunog nang phone na nasa bulsa ko, kaya agad na kinuha ko ito, dahil may hinihintay ako na tawag, “Hello?” I answered.

“Madam, limited lang ang mga impormasyon na nakuha ko, masyadong mahirap mag access sa database nila,”

Kinuha ko ang sandwich ko tsaka tumakbo papasok sa kwarto ko, “That’s okay, what did you get then?”

“Jackson Knight Alegra, a famous shipping magnate billionaire, he is twenty-nine and love to play with two things; money and women, he’s a monster in business and some business actually came bankrupt because of him, he has three brothers, their eldest dies alongside with their father, and I heard it was during Jackson’s birthday, hmm, as for his daily schedule, I don’t have the full access for it, but; my friend mentioned that he will be attending two parties this week,”

Patuloy lang ako sa pag titipa nang mga impormasyon na naririnig ko mula kay Vaughn, kaibigan ko siya simula high school and he’s an informant.

“He will be attending the 105th annual party as part of the organization of the shipping lines he was working before, and then on Friday, he will be attending an anniversary party held in Catastrope. I already sent you the details of the events, since you will not be having any problem regarding the invitation, because Sierra’s death is not publicly announced, and no one ever confirmed if this is true, so yeah; I got you an invitation from one of the coordinator which turns out to be my friend,”

I chuckled, “I so love you Vaughn, I’ll make it up to you, alright?”

“Bitch, treat me to a nice steak this sunday, that is a must, sunday is my only free time, so yeah, adjust!”

I let a loud laugh, “Yeah, I will, thank you so much, I’ll hang up,” I said and about ending the call.

“Sav, wait a moment,” narinig ko na sabi niya kaya agad na ibinalik ko ang phone sa tenga ko, “I mean, I will support you throughout your plan, but, are you sure about this? I mean, isn’t too petty to make that man fall in love with you, and then you will leave him? I mean, we have been friends for I can’t remember, and you are totally aren’t capable of making that kind of things, you’re so pure and delicate, are you sure about this?”

Isang malalim na buntong hininga ang pinakawalan ko, “My twin’s death will not be put into vain, I will make sure that he will remember it for the rest of his life,”

“How about you? Hindi mo ba naisip na, what if instead of Jackson you are the one who will fall in love, I mean, this guy is a hasler in making women fall in love with him, why do you think you are an exception, walang sinasanto ang lalaki na yan, and besides, kahit sobrang hot nya, I wouldn’t think of swaying him,”

“Then I will just figure it out, I don’t know how, but I will make sure that after this game, I will be the winner, and he will face the consequences of taking a life—a dear life to us,”

“You mean even if living as Sierra and not Savannah?”

Sandali akong natulala, malaki ang pinag kaiba ng buhay at mundong iniikutan namin ni Sierra, she is a belle and I’m just someone who breath and exist, I don’t know if I can make it to live is her, but she’s not here anymore, this is a big plan and action for me, it might be petty for other people’s eyes, pero hindi ko hahayaan na habang kami nag durusa sa pag kawala nang kapatid ko, dahil sa sobrang pag mamahal niya sa lalaki na yon, mawala na lang ito nang saysay.

“Vannah?” Nabalik ako sa reyalidad nang marinig ko ang boses ni Vaughn sa kabilang linya.

I sighed, “Yeah, even if I have to live as her,”