Rules They Never Expected

Suzie had expected to spend the morning pretending to enjoy breakfast while photographers shouted questions from the pavement.

Instead, Lila led them into another conference room.

"The paparazzi opportunity has been pushed back until this afternoon," she explained, placing two thick folders on the table. "Which gives us time for something considerably less exciting."

Suzie eyed the folder suspiciously.

"What is it?"

"The relationship agreement."

"I thought we already agreed."

"You agreed to participate." Lila smiled. "This is the legal version."

Adrian reached for his copy without hesitation.

Suzie opened hers.

The first page alone made her head ache.

Relationship Representation Agreement.

Confidentiality.

Public Conduct.

Media Obligations.

Termination Clauses.

She turned another page.

Then another.

"Oh, you've got to be joking."

Lila folded her hands calmly.

"Which part?"

Suzie looked up.

"All of it."

Adrian glanced across at her, amusement flickering across his face.

"You haven't even reached page five."

"I'm already angry."

"You'll definitely hate page five."

She flipped to it.

"I do."

Lila hid a smile.

"Let's go through it together."

For the next twenty minutes she explained each section carefully.

Most of it was surprisingly sensible.

Neither of them would discuss the arrangement with anyone outside a tightly controlled list of people.

Neither could publicly contradict the agreed relationship timeline.

Both would attend promotional events considered necessary by the studio.

Then Suzie reached Clause Twelve.

She frowned.

"'Neither party shall be photographed in a romantic or intimate context with any third party during the term of this agreement.'"

"Correct," Lila said.

"So... I can't go on a date?"

"Not publicly."

"What if I meet someone?"

Adrian looked up from his own copy.

Lila answered before he could.

"If that happens, we revisit the agreement."

Suzie wasn't convinced.

"That feels unfair."

"It protects both of you."

"It controls both of us."

Lila considered that.

"That's also true."

Suzie stared at her.

"I wasn't expecting you to admit that."

"I'm not here to pretend these arrangements are normal."

Adrian looked between them with growing interest.

Suzie continued reading.

Clause Fourteen.

"'Physical affection, including but not limited to hand-holding, embraces and appropriate displays of affection, may be requested where considered beneficial to public perception.'"

She looked horrified.

"'May be requested?'"

"Yes."

"Requested by who?"

"The publicity team."

"So someone can just decide we need to hold hands?"

"If circumstances call for it."

Suzie closed the folder.

"No."

The room fell quiet.

Lila remained composed.

"Would you like to explain?"

"Not particularly."

"I'd still like to hear it."

Suzie took a breath.

"I've already agreed to fake a relationship. That's one compromise. But I won't sign something that says other people can decide when I'm allowed to touch someone."

Lila nodded slowly.

"What would you be comfortable with?"

Suzie blinked.

"You mean... you're asking me?"

"Of course."

"I thought these were fixed."

"They're negotiable."

Adrian leaned back in his chair.

This was not the direction he'd expected.

Suzie opened the folder again.

"I don't mind hand-holding if we both agree in the moment."

Lila made a note.

"So mutual consent."

"Yes."

"No compulsory physical contact."

"Exactly."

Lila crossed out the clause.

Adrian found himself smiling.

Most people simply signed what lawyers placed in front of them.

Suzie argued.

Calmly.

Logically.

Without caring that she was sitting opposite one of the biggest studios in the country.

She reached the next page.

"'The parties will maintain daily telephone communication.'"

She looked up again.

"Daily?"

"Preferably."

"What if we've got nothing to say?"

Lila answered without missing a beat.

"The purpose is familiarity. It's easier to appear like a genuine couple if you're actually speaking regularly."

Suzie looked at Adrian.

"We could just text."

"I was thinking the same thing."

Lila considered it.

"A daily phone call or meaningful conversation by phone or message?"

"That sounds far more human," Suzie said.

Another note.

Another amendment.

She kept reading.

"'Should publicity requirements necessitate travel, both parties will make themselves available for holidays or leisure trips.'"

"Holidays?" Suzie repeated. "I don't get unlimited annual leave."

"We're aware."

"And what if I don't want to spend a week pretending to sunbathe?"

Lila smiled faintly.

"Nobody enjoys pretending to sunbathe."

Adrian laughed.

It escaped before he could stop it.

Lila looked at him.

"You disagree?"

"No. She's right."

Suzie returned to the contract.

"This should say reasonable notice and mutual agreement."

"It already says reasonable notice."

"It doesn't say mutual agreement."

Lila read the wording.

"You're correct."

Another line was rewritten.

Adrian watched the exchange with quiet fascination.

He had worked with lawyers for years.

Most negotiations involved inflated egos and veiled threats.

Suzie simply kept asking sensible questions.

When something felt unfair, she said so.

When an explanation made sense, she accepted it.

She wasn't trying to win.

She was trying to make the agreement balanced.

It was unexpectedly refreshing.

Eventually she reached the final page.

"I think that's everything."

Lila looked over her notes.

"We've amended six clauses."

"Is that unusual?"

"A little."

"You hate me now, don't you?"

"Quite the opposite."

Lila closed her own folder.

"A contract only works if everyone signing it actually believes they can honour it. I'd rather spend an extra hour rewriting it than spend six months managing resentment."

Suzie relaxed for what felt like the first time all morning.

"Thank you."

Lila offered a small smile.

"You're welcome."

Fresh copies arrived just over an hour later.

The revised wording reflected every agreed change.

No compulsory physical affection.

No mandatory phone calls.

Reasonable notice for travel.

Mutual agreement wherever practical.

Suzie read each amendment twice before signing.

Adrian signed beside her.

Lila collected both copies.

"Congratulations."

Suzie looked up.

"For what?"

"You've just become one of the very few people who've successfully negotiated with a Hollywood legal department."

"I feel strangely proud."

"You should."

As Lila left to distribute the paperwork, silence settled over the room.

Suzie gathered her things.

"I hope I didn't make your life more difficult."

Adrian shook his head.

"You made it easier."

She frowned.

"How?"

"I hated half those clauses too."

"You did?"

"I've signed contracts like that before because they weren't worth arguing over."

"And today?"

"Today someone else argued."

She laughed.

"I suppose I did."

"You weren't difficult."

"I definitely was."

"No."

He met her eyes.

"You knew the difference between unreasonable and inconvenient."

She held his gaze for a moment before looking away.

"I just didn't want to feel like I'd signed away my life."

"You didn't."

There was a sincerity in his voice that caught her off guard.

For the first time since she'd agreed to this impossible arrangement, the contract felt less like a trap and more like something they were navigating together.

Outside, Lila appeared in the doorway, phone already in hand.

"The revised agreement has been approved."

She smiled.

"And the photographers have arrived."

Suzie's stomach immediately flipped.

"So," Lila said. "Shall we go introduce Britain's newest favourite couple?"