PR Boot Camp

By nine o'clock the following morning, Suzie was beginning to suspect she'd made the worst decision of her life.

The studio occupied the top two floors of a glass-fronted office building overlooking the Thames. Everything inside seemed aggressively expensive.

Lila strode through reception without breaking pace.

"Conference Room Three. Coffee is on the side if anyone wants it. We have a full day ahead."

Suzie followed, clutching a notebook she'd brought from home despite having no idea why. It felt like armour.

Adrian was already there, sleeves rolled neatly to his forearms. He looked up as she entered.

"Morning."

She managed something between a smile and a grimace.

"You planning to revise for an exam?" he asked, nodding at the notebook.

"I'm considering running away."

His mouth twitched.

"Fair."

Lila stepped to the front of the room.

"We have approximately thirty-six hours before this relationship becomes public enough that every interview from now until the film premieres will include questions about it."

The screen behind her lit up.

PR BOOT CAMP.

Suzie groaned before she could stop herself.

Lila smiled politely.

"I appreciate your honesty."

A ripple of laughter moved around the room.

"The good news is that neither of you needs to become somebody else. Audiences can detect manufactured personalities remarkably quickly. My job is to make sure the public meets the best version of who you already are."

That, at least, sounded reasonable.

"First lesson. Consistency."

The next two hours passed in a blur. Lila explained how to answer difficult questions, redirect awkward conversations and avoid volunteering information that might become tomorrow's headline.

"Never lie if the truth will surface in forty-eight hours," she said. "Equally, never volunteer information nobody asked for."

She pointed towards Adrian.

"Example."

An assistant stood.

"Adrian, are you planning children?"

"I've always liked the idea of a family one day."

Lila nodded.

"Simple. Honest. Future focused."

She turned to Suzie.

"Your turn."

The assistant smiled.

"Suzie, how did you know Adrian was the one?"

Suzie's eyes widened.

"I don't."

Silence.

Adrian coughed into his hand to disguise a laugh.

Lila remained patient.

"Again."

Suzie sighed.

"I realised quite early that he made me feel safe."

"Better."

"It also isn't entirely false," Adrian murmured.

She looked at him.

"You did tell me that. In the café."

She had forgotten saying it.

Lila clapped her hands.

"Excellent. Use genuine emotions wherever possible. Fabricated details are difficult to remember."

The words lodged somewhere uncomfortable inside Suzie's chest.

They broke briefly before the next session.

Suzie escaped into the corridor with another coffee she didn't particularly want.

"So," Adrian said quietly, joining her. "You've only considered quitting six times this morning."

"Seven."

"My mistake."

"I wasn't built for this."

"I know."

She gave a tired laugh.

"They're teaching me how to smile."

"They're teaching us how not to accidentally create headlines."

"I smile normally."

"You smile like you're apologising."

"I do not."

He simply raised an eyebrow.

She realised she was smiling apologetically.

"Oh."

"There it is."

She laughed despite herself.

For a few seconds the tightness in her shoulders eased.

"Ready?"

"No."

"Good. Neither am I."

He held the door open for her.

The next session proved even worse.

Body language.

A woman named Celeste positioned them opposite one another.

"People believe what they see before they believe what they hear."

She adjusted them like mannequins.

"Closer."

They stepped together.

"No. Comfortable closer."

Heat crept into Suzie's cheeks.

"Relax your hands."

"I'm trying."

"You're making fists."

Suzie looked down.

She was.

Celeste gently unfolded her fingers.

"If you're photographed like this, people read tension."

"I am tense."

"I know. We need to hide it."

For the next forty minutes they practised walking together, standing together and touching each other's arms naturally.

Suzie became painfully aware of every movement.

"This is torture," she whispered.

"I've had worse."

"What could possibly be worse?"

"A six-hour costume fitting."

She snorted.

Celeste smiled.

"That."

"What?"

"The laugh. It was genuine."

She turned to Adrian.

"You know how to make her relax."

"I've noticed."

"Keep doing it."

He simply nodded and stayed beside Suzie for the rest of the session.

After lunch came interview rehearsals.

A camera.

Bright lights.

Two chairs.

Suzie wanted the floor to swallow her.

"So, Suzie," the interviewer asked, "what's it like dating one of Britain's biggest film stars?"

Her mind emptied.

Lila paused the recording.

"Take your time."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise."

"I've forgotten English."

"It'll come back."

It didn't.

"I'm making this impossible."

Lila shook her head.

"You're learning."

"I look ridiculous."

"You look nervous. There's a difference."

Nobody sounded frustrated.

That somehow made Suzie feel worse.

During the next attempt Adrian answered first.

"What attracted you to Suzie?"

"She's genuine," he replied without hesitation. "And funny. I spend most of my life around people performing versions of themselves. Suzie never does."

Lila nodded approvingly.

"Excellent."

Suzie wasn't entirely convinced he was acting anymore.

The thought unsettled her.

By late afternoon they reached the final presentation.

Social media.

Lila explained how quickly rumours spread and why arguing online never worked.

"If somebody says something unpleasant, we don't engage. We don't defend. We simply continue behaving consistently until the story moves elsewhere."

Suzie looked exhausted.

Lila noticed.

"We're nearly done."

"Promise?"

"I don't make promises I can't keep."

Even Suzie smiled.

As assistants gathered papers, one of the junior publicists hurried over to Lila with a phone.

She glanced at the screen and nodded.

"Perfect."

She looked towards Adrian and Suzie.

"Tomorrow morning."

Suzie's stomach tightened.

"What tomorrow morning?"

"Our first photographs together."

"Paparazzi?"

"We know where they'll be because we're making sure they know where you'll be."

"You invite them?"

"Not directly. Information travels."

Suzie looked horrified.

"I thought paparazzi just appeared."

"They usually do. This way, we control the environment."

Adrian noticed she'd gone pale.

Lila continued gently.

"You'll have breakfast together at a café with good visibility. You'll arrive separately and leave together. Nothing theatrical. Just believable."

"What if I trip?"

"Then Adrian helps you up."

"What if I panic?"

"Then we'll adjust. Nobody expects perfection on day one."

Suzie nodded, though she wasn't convinced.

As everyone filed out, Adrian slowed until they were walking side by side.

"You survived."

"Barely."

"You'll survive tomorrow too."

She looked out across the river where ordinary people hurried home from ordinary jobs without cameras waiting for them.

"I hope so."

For reasons he couldn't explain, Adrian found himself hoping exactly the same thing.