Kieran - Back to Friends

Wednesday is a bit of a slow day at work and I'll be able to take a break earlier than usual. I hadn’t had breakfast this morning, so it’s perfect.

There are only three people in the diner right now; a group of girls in a corner booth. I recognize all of them from around town, but I don’t think we’ve ever spoken. They happen to be a part of the few people who haven’t stared or given me sympathy looks.

The door to the kitchen opens and Lucas walks out, taking off his apron as he does. As he passes the booth, two of the girls stare while the other rolls her eyes. It’s a little funny as that would be my reaction too.

“Hey,” he says, stopping at my booth. “Mind if I sit?”

“Would it matter if I did?”

He lifts a shoulder, planting himself across from me. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“Absolutely nothing,”

“Really?” he cocks his head. “Because you have that look on your face,”

“What look?”

“The look you get when you’re drowning in your own thoughts,”

“Funny,”

He reaches over and snatches the half of my sandwich I haven’t touched. Taking a bite out of it, he reaches for my coke, but I slap his hand away.

“So about yesterday,” he starts, “Are we really okay? Do you really forgive me?”

“Yes, Lucas. I forgive you,” I tell him honestly. “You didn’t know. It took me a while to realize, but if you did, I’d hope that we’d have had a very different conversation,”

“You’re right,”

I take a sip from my can. “I saw your dad’s car in your driveway,”

His eyebrow raises. “Yeah, he’s in town for the week,”

“How’s that going?”

I don’t know why I’m asking. I doubt he’d actually tell me anything. I wait a long moment before he releases a breath and answers.

“It’s hell, Kieran,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s awkward and uncomfortable and I wanna punch him every second of the day,”

Okay, maybe I was wrong.

“Julie’s pregnant,” he continues, taking another bite out of the sandwich.

My eyes widen. “Wow. Okay,”

Julie is Lucas’s dad’s wife, the one he married a year after separating from Lucas’s mom. Approximately two years after Lucas moved in with his aunt.

“Yup,”

“How does he feel about it?”

“He’s excited to ‘be a dad’,” he says, a forced smile on his face.

What the hell?

“And how do you feel about it?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know yet. I guess it's a mix of emotions,”

I nod. “Some anger, irritation, resentment, guilt,”

“Guilt?”

“You feel like an asshole for resenting the idea of him having another kid,”

He smiles at me, a little less forced. “You know me that well?”

“Better than you’d think,” I say with a nod.

He studies my face. “Okay, why do you look so surprised?”

“You spoke,” I say, lifting a shoulder. “You don’t speak,”

“Yes, I do. Especially to you,”

“Not for the last two years,”

He nods, averting his gaze to the tabletop. Like I knew he would.

Lucas and I have known each other since we were eight years old. He used to be very guarded and unable to communicate. I’d like to think that myself and my parents contributed to him breaking out of his shell and letting down his guard. However, about two years ago, he went back to that state, pushed me away, and never explained why.

He’s never been much of a talker, but at least he spoke to me. The fact that he’s doing so again after pushing me away for two years kind of throws me off kilter.

“About that.” He looks up. “I’m sorry,”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. You were my best friend,”

“And you were mine,” I say, lifting a shoulder.

“Would it be too much to ask to let bygones be bygones?” he asks, an uncertain smile on his face.

I lift a shoulder. “I guess not,”