Something You Never Had

Stumbling back out of King’s chambers, I felt disheveled. I never expected him to cross that line, despite knowing how ruthless and selfish he can be. There was no reason for him to look for me, there were plenty of she-wolves at his disposal should he have wanted an heir or simply sex. I was off limits, at least I thought that until today.

Beta Art stood by the door as I walked out. His caring eyes flickered gold looking at me and I could see that he was concerned, yet I sensed conflict in him. After all his loyalty would always be to Roman. “Do you need my help going back” he asked..

I genuinely did not want company.. I needed a bath, I needed to scrub the feeling of being violated from my mind and body in every way.. “I will be ok” I said softly nodding at him.. I almost ran through the corridors to my room, walking in locking the door, knowing fully well it did not mean a thing if I did. Anyone here, she-volves included could break that door. They could not break the barrier though I thought to myself. However, if Alpha King wanted to come in, barrier did not work on him.

For the millionth time I regrated the choice my mother made when she made that shield. Somehow, I also knew she really had no choice, yet it made me resentful all the same…

Starting the hot tub I tossed in some herbs, lavender and vanilla scents so I can calm down and relax.. There was a lot for me to do, a lot on my plate, lot on my shoulders. For now, I needed to rest, recompose myself and strategize as to how to find Alpha King his mate and how to free myself.

Alpha King was a strange case. Most werewolves, especially those of strong blood lines like Alphas or Beta’s – especially one of such incredible lineage as Alpha King would find their mate by age of 18 or 20 at least. Most would have at least 2-3 pups by age of 30. Alpha King Roman was 30, yet has never found a mate.  Both his mother and father came from prestigious lines, in fact, his mother’s line was unique – wolves with extra abilities – a small but extremely powerful pack. It was not for the lack of trying on Alpha King-s part. He looked everywhere, visited all packs, looked in the packs in Europe – even in the Lycan kingdom. And when he did not find her – he literally fucked his way through the Kingdom, I chuckled to myself, getting into a warm scented bath..

The warmth of water enveloped me.. I felt the stress of the encounter leaving me – I needed to forget this, to rest and focus on myself. felt my muscles relax, my spirit calm down.. However, I felt something else.. The throbbing sensation between my legs, warm and pulsating.. wanting another kiss.. wanting to be touched..

Could it be that I wanted him?? That I wanted sex, from him?? All these years, I never really looked at him that way. I knew of his escapades, I knew he was an attractive man – I had eyes after all. But save for once before, we never really were in a close physical contact – it was always business as usual.

Laying there, the energy of pulsation between my legs became hard to ignore.. I remembered his scent, his lips on mine and somehow my hands found their way to my clit, involuntarily at first… It was warm to the touch, wet in a different way then water, and I wanted his lips on it… More I thought of it, more my thoughts called for him to kiss me, suck me, fuck me, do whatever he wanted to me, just to have him.. My mind was spinning, my breath ragged. My fingers had to substitute and slowly gliding up and down my clit I thought of his eyes, his breath, and the movement became faster, and faster and faster.. until my toes curled, fire was cursing through my stomach and my whole body, I screamed and I was undone.. 

Could it be that I wanted Alpha King as my lover?? This was confusing me, and scaring me at the same time.. His words echoed. In my head – why did he pick me of all to carry his children if he could not find the mate? Why me.. And why am I reacting to him in this weird yet wanting, needing way? “You are simply looking for a mate yourself”, the same soft voice in my head said.. “He is the only male touch you experienced, and lets face it, you need to get fucked” the voice said matter-o-fact.. You are just reacting to something you want and never had”..