Alexander's POVThey say that when life throws lemons at you, you make lemonade. I suppose that is what one should do in this world but I don't see how to make lemonade with these lemons. I feel like I have lost control of my life, like I was a puppet being pulled by the strings and I hate it. I keep on praying that everything goes according to plan because this might actually be the last chance I have been given to bring my son back home where he belongs.I have spent the entire week trying to find a way out of marrying Tatiana. I have a problem with people who force me to do things I don't want to do and this morning I was faced with that dynamic again when I found myself having to take the most hardest decision I could ever make. I do not want marry Tatiana, I have made that known from the beginning, I have no intentions of spending a year being married to this woman, I have the woman I love, the one I already married and I was not about to let her go. I was willing to go through
Lacey Jones POVTatiana... The name that was supposed to give me a new start in life. I thought that I had left my past where it belongs but it seems like I was wrong about that too. I feel like I am at a point in my life where nothing matters anymore. Yesterday I did a stupid thing, I should have never lost control like I did but when I saw Ella, I was like a bull seeing red, I couldn't control my rage towards her because she had everything that I ever wanted in this life and that is for Alexander to love me like I wanted him to. I was here first and I was the woman who was there when he was at his lowest in his life. I made him the man that he is today and now he was turning his back on me and I couldn't handle it. I was in love with Gary at one point and I would have done anything for him but all he wanted to do was to hurt me time and over again. but when I was with Gary he made it seem like love and hurt go together. I will say that it took me a lot of strength and willpower to
Ella's POVI fell in love with a man who was already emotionally involved with another woman. I do not have a single doubt in my mind about how he feels about me, I do not doubt his love for me but I saw something in that church and it scares me more than anything in this world. For a moment I thought that he was going to choose Tatiana. He looked at her in a way that he has never looked at me so I have to wonder if he is not in denial about how he feels about Tatiana. I saw the rage in Tatiana's eyes when she pointed the gun at me. I knew my fate and I had accepted it. She saw me as a stumbling block. I don't know much about the relationship and I don't know what really happened between the two of them but what I saw is that this woman is still very much in love with Alexandra. I also saw that she hated the man she was married to in the past. Gary is intense, I can't explain it but when he walks into a room, you can feel his presence. I know that I don't really know much about BDSM
Alexander's POVAs a man it is my outmost duty to protect the people I love and sometimes that is the hardest part of being a man, especially when you come across situations you can't control and I hate not being in control and that is what I feel like when I am with Ella. I have given her so much free reign and she doesn't even know it. I hate the fact that she thinks with her heart and with her mind because if she did, she would understand that there are things that are beyond our control and there is nothing we can do about that. I wish she could put herself in my shoes. I know that by now she has an idea about the kind of relationship I had with Tatiana but she doesn't know the whole truth. I will be honest and say that a part of me wishes that I could give her what I gave to those other women but I know that my heart won't let me. This is why I have realised that maybe I took it a bit too far at times, especially with Tatiana who gave me everything I wanted in a sub. I wish tha
Ella's POVYesterday was a bit hectic, I hate fighting with Alexander but I hate it even more when he keeps things from me. I am trying to understand the man that he really is. He thinks that he is protecting me by not telling me the truth but it the exact opposite of that. I don't want a man who is going to give me only half of him. I need to know the man I love, the man that I married in every sense of the word. I need to know his thoughts, both good and bad, I want to know all of himFor the first since we got married a year ago I feel like everything is moving too fast and I can't cope, it is no wonder I had a nervous breakdown. The problem with me is that I am an over thinker and that is seldom a good thing, that is why I need to be told information so that I don't make up my own conclusions about things. Just like how I wanted him to tell me the truth but he didn't, instead he chose to bark orders at me, telling me that I am not going to have an abortion as if he has the right t
Alexander's POVI know that I have not been the best husband, that I have not been the man that Ella needs but I am trying. I have never had to have a real relationship with anyone other than Ella. This is actually the first time I actually get emotionally invested in a relationship and I am starting to remember why. Having a relationship with no strings attached gives one freedoms he or she would never get in a commited relationship. I don't know how people do this because this is very hard for me. Having to share my feelings was always the hardest thing to do with me. A few days ago I realised just how much I really love Ella because I almost lost her, I don't even know how I would have been able to cope without her. In that moment I also realised that what I feel for Ella compares to nothing, not even what I shared with Lacey. I didn't do right by Ella, I released that when I saw her sleeping on that hospital bed. I realised that she was right about a lot of things as well, I have
Ella's POVI will be the first to admit that Alexander caught me completely by surprise. I know that the insurance said that they would take some time to pay out and I was wondering if I was even able to start all over from the start again. I had put in a lot of work into making that restaurant what it was before that crazy woman burnt it all down. I kept on asking myself what I had done to have so much bad luck and now I know that it had nothing to do with bad luck at all. It had to do with the fact that another woman wanted my husband so bad that she was willing to ruin everything I had in order to get what she wanted and for a moment it seemed like she was going to do it, that she was going to get everything I had. My husband, my daughter and even my marriage. After weeks of worrying about my son, I couldn't just sit and do nothing. I don't know what I would have done if it was not for Michelle, she really came through for me and I don't even know how to thank her. I don't know w
Alexander's POV I did not want my wife to find out about my previous lifestyle and what used to happen between me and my ex's. I know that if it was up to me she wouldn't have found out at all but she wanted to know and I told her. I told her what was happening and I thought that she would ask me for details which would have been the worst because I don't think I could have been able to utter the words to her. The more I thought of it, the more I hated myself for it. All this time I thought that I was using Lacey as a coping mechanism but that is not true. The truth I that I was taking it all out on her because I was not dealing with things. I also realise that my wife was right when she said that I could not cut off that part of me like it didn't exist. I didn't want to hear that especially coming from her but that still doesn't change the fact that she was right but I also know that I can never do to her what I did to all those other women. I told her and left because I didn't wa