Chapter Five — The Pain He Would Rather Die With

Lily's pov

I pushed him away so hard that I nearly lost my balance.

My back struck the wall, and I stood there breathing heavily, trying to understand everything that had happened since I arrived at this cursed place.

The man in front of me was the one who had marked me, the one I had mistaken for Axel, and yet I barely knew anything about him.

I turned toward where I remembered the door being and stretched both hands in front of me.

I needed to leave.

I needed to find Axel and demand an explanation.

I took one step forward, but before my fingers could reach the wall, a hand closed around my wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

I tried to pull free, but his grip tightened enough to stop me without hurting me.

“To find Axel,” I replied.

His expression changed immediately. “You cannot go to him now,” he said. “Why?” I demanded.

“Because if you leave this room and go looking for Axel, he will skin you alive,” he replied.

The words made me freeze.

I had heard enough threats since arriving at Ashford territory to know that they were not empty words. Still, I could not remain there after what had happened. I had spent my entire life being treated as though I had no right to ask questions, but I was tired of being afraid.

“I need to speak to him,” I said. “You don't understand what you're walking into,” he replied.

“Then let me find out for myself,” I said.

He held my wrist for another moment. I could feel the strange warmth of his body through his fingers, and beneath it was something I couldn't explain. His aura was different from everyone else's. It was heavier, darker, almost like standing too close to a storm.

But I didn't have the strength to think about him anymore. I pulled my wrist free. He didn't stop me again. Without saying another word, I turned toward the door.

For most of my life, darkness had been my prison.

I had learned how to live inside it because there was no other choice. I couldn't see walls, faces, doors, or pathways the way other people did. But people carried something with them that I had learned to recognize over the years.

Aura. Every living person had one. Some were warm and gentle. Some were cold. Some were sharp enough to make my skin crawl before they even spoke.

I stretched my hands forward and slowly followed those faint traces of warmth through the hallway.

The palace was enormous, but I had learned enough since arriving to recognize certain passages. I moved carefully, using the walls when I needed to, following the auras of the servants as they passed.

I wasn't sure what I would say to Axel. I only knew that I needed answers. When I finally sensed his aura, I stopped. He wasn't alone. Another aura was close to his. I recognized it almost immediately. It was Miranda, The same woman who had beaten me.

The same woman whose voice had been filled with laughter while I lay helpless on the floor. I stood outside the room, listening.

There were quiet sounds coming from inside, followed by Miranda's soft laughter. The closeness of their auras told me enough about what they were doing.

I didn't need to open the door. I didn't need to hear another word. For several seconds, I simply stood there.

Something inside me cracked, but it wasn't surprise.

It was recognition. This was what my life had always been.

People took what they wanted from me because they believed I had nothing to offer in return. My father had handed me over like a useless object. Axel had treated me like an embarrassment. Miranda had hurt me because she knew nobody would stop her.

And now, after everything that had happened, I had come searching for Axel because some foolish part of me had still believed he might explain what was happening. Why had I expected anything different? I slowly turned away from the door.

I didn't cry.

Not because I wasn't hurt, but because I had cried so many times in my life that there were moments when even tears felt like a waste of strength. I walked back down the hallway.

A few minutes later, I heard hurried footsteps approaching me.

“Miss Lily?” I stopped. A young female voice stood a few steps away. “You're Lily, aren't you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I replied cautiously. “I was told to take you to your room,” she said. “My room?” I asked. “Yes. Please follow me,” she replied.

I hesitated before following her. She walked slowly enough for me to keep track of her aura, and I used it to guide myself through the corridors. Eventually, she stopped and opened a door. “This is your room,” she said. I stepped inside. It was quiet.

The room smelled faintly of clean linen and flowers, nothing like the cold stone chamber where I had been locked away. I reached out and touched the bed.

It was soft. For some reason, that simple kindness almost made me cry.

“Thank you,” I whispered. The maid didn't answer immediately. Then I heard her footsteps retreat, as The door closed.

I sat on the edge of the bed and lowered my head.

For the first time since I had arrived at Ashford territory, nobody was shouting at me, nobody was laughing, at least i have a little peace.

Yet the silence felt heavier than all of it. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to convince my heart that I didn't care. I had survived worse. I would survive this too.

I just didn't know how much more of myself I would have to lose before I finally escaped this place.

Thorne's POV

The moment Lily left my chambers, the pain returned.

At first, it was nothing more than a dull pressure beneath my ribs. I ignored it cause i already knew what has started.

I had lived with pain for years. I knew how to endure it.

But within minutes, the pressure became unbearable. My breathing grew ragged as I gripped the edge of the table.

Then my wolf woke. A deep growl tore from my throat.

“No,” I whispered.

My claws pushed through my fingers as my body shook violently. The curse had returned. But this time, it was worse.

My wolf wasn't simply angry.

It was searching, Searching for her.

I could feel the creature inside me clawing against my control, demanding that I find the woman whose scent had silenced it for the first time in years.

Find her, The voice echoed inside my head, Bring her back.

I clenched my teeth. “She doesn't belong here,” I muttered. My wolf snarled. She belongs with us.

The door suddenly opened. Ryan rushed inside. He stopped when he saw me. “Your Highness,” he said.

I turned toward him. His face paled. He had seen me like this before, no, a lot of times.

He knew what happened when the curse took control. “Should I bring Lily?” he asked. The question made something inside me snap.

“How do you know about this?” I demanded.

Ryan swallowed. “I saw what happened yesterday,” he replied. “I saw you sleep peacefully for the first time. I have never seen you rest like that before, Your Highness.”

I stared at him. He continued carefully. “I thought perhaps bringing her here would ease your pain again,” he said.

“No,” I growled. My voice no longer sounded completely human.

Ryan took a step back.

“Sir, it won't take time,” he said. “She will be here in an instant if I go for her.”

“No!” I shouted. The windows shook from the force of my voice. Ryan froze. I could feel my wolf pushing harder against my control.

It wanted Lily, It wanted to find her, hold her, breathe in her scent until the pain disappeared.

But I refused.

I would not allow myself to become dependent on her.

I had spent years believing that the only way to protect people was to stay away from them.

Lily didn't deserve to become another prisoner of my curse.

I staggered backward. My hand pressed against my stomach as another wave of pain ripped through me.

Ryan moved toward me. “Your Highness, please,” he said. I raised my head. My eyes burned. “Get my sword,” I ordered. Ryan went completely still.

“Your Highness?” he asked. “My sword,” I repeated. He shook his head.

“Sir, you cannot—” “Get it!” I roared. Ryan flinched and immediately turned toward the weapon rack. My wolf continued to rage inside me. I closed my eyes.

For one brief moment, Lily's scent seemed to fill the room again.

I remembered the way my body had gone still when she touched me. I remembered the confusion in her voice. I remembered the fear in her eyes when she realized who I was.

And I remembered the way she had pushed me away. She hated me. Perhaps she should. I had marked her without knowing what the consequences would be.

She had believed I was Axel, and now she was trapped in a bond she had never chosen.

I couldn't make her suffer because my curse wanted her. I couldn't allow myself to turn her into a cure for something that had tormented me all my life.

Ryan returned with my sword.

He held it out toward me with trembling hands.

“Your Highness, please reconsider,” he said.

I took it. The moment my fingers closed around the hilt, Ryan stepped toward me.

“Sir, don't do this,” he pleaded. I didn't answer. I knew what I was about to do.

I had made this choice many times before. The curse could consume me. My wolf could tear through the palace. I could allow the beast inside me to take control and eventually hurt someone, Or I could stop it myself.

I lowered my eyes toward the sword. Ryan's voice broke behind me. “Your Highness, please!” I drove the blade deep into my stomach. Pain exploded through my body. My knees almost gave out, but I forced myself to remain standing. The wolf inside me screamed. I gripped the sword tighter and held my breath. Ryan rushed toward me.

“Your Highness!” “Stay back,” I said. Blood ran beneath my fingers. The pain was brutal, but slowly, the wolf's roar began to weaken. I could breathe again.

For a few precious seconds, there was silence inside my head, No howling, No demand, No desperate need to find Lily, Just silence.

I looked toward the door she had walked through. I didn't know why she had affected me. I didn't know why my curse became quiet when she touched me.

And I certainly didn't know why the thought of her suffering because of me hurt more than the blade buried inside my body.

But I knew one thing.

I would rather bleed alone than turn her into a prisoner of my curse. Ryan stared at me in horror.

“Why would you do this to yourself?” he asked.

I slowly pulled the sword from my body.

“Because she deserves the freedom to hate me,” I replied.

Ryan looked at me as though he didn't understand.

Perhaps he didn't and i too was shocked with what i said cause no one has ever made me care or show concern, or Perhaps nobody ever would but why her.

I lowered the sword. “Take this away,” I ordered. He rushed forward to support me. But before he could reach me, I heard something.