Jealous

ASHER

They are together. 

Rose and Guel. I had seen them together countless times, seen the way they grinned at each other. A bitterness I'd never known took hold of me, gripping me so tight, I feared I might do something disastrous. I didn't like the way she beamed at him, touched his chest, the one I'd been dying to lay my hands on after I felt just how hard it was. 

I wouldn't lie. I'd contemplated getting her transferred to another branch, but feared Guel might leave with her. If that happened, I wouldn't have anyone to gawk at, or fantasise about. But more importantly, I would know for real that I had no chance with him. 

One thing I'd learned in all my years of living is that straight men aren't worth it…

“Sir? Excuse me, sir” 

I blinked, forced back to the present. “Uhm…” I cleared my throat. “What were you saying?” I sat up in my armchair, pushing thoughts of Guel and that damned Rose to the back of my mind. I was in a meeting and had to keep my focus on my work instead of thinking about him. 

“Here's the proposal for the month.” He gestured to the file in front of me. “The marketing team is ready to carry it out if you implement it. There's an estimated increase in sales and promotion if we follow the plan.”

“I see.” 

I tapped my index finger on the desk. “Interesting. Let's see your proposals.” I gestured for him to come forward, lifting the file as he grabbed the remote and started the slides. 

I watched, keeping my attention on them so it wouldn't sway, and it didn't until the end of the meeting. 

“Let's go with Edna's idea. I need another plan prepared for our next meeting on Thursday.”

“Okay, sir.” 

I got up and left, with Benny close behind me. I didn't even know she joined the meeting until she followed me out, her belly preventing her from walking like she normally did.

“When is your leave?”

“In two weeks.” She tried to walk faster, but her stomach wasn't letting her. 

“What's the progress with the temporary secretary I asked you to find?”

As she was going on leave, we decided to hire a temporary assistant to fill her place until she was ready to return to work. So far, we hadn't been successful in getting someone.

“We would have found the right candidate if you hadn't turned down all the ladies I sent to you. I figured you wanted a man, but you rejected the two that applied. What the hell are you even looking for?”

I bit my inner cheeks before I could mention his name. Benny was right. I didn't want any of them to be my secretary, especially the men. They were all bottoms, I could tell. Their flirty smiles and how ready they were to serve, coupled with their feminine curves, made me sick. I needed someone with muscles to hold me down, not someone who wants me to do that.

Guel would effortlessly lift me to my table or even fucking me while holding me up. I know I'm muscular, but that man got it all, hard in the right places, with palms that made mine feel so small when they weren't.

“Are you even listening to me?”

I blinked, realising I had stopped walking. My cheeks grew warm, and I averted my gaze before she could see the blush on my face. 

“Sorry, I lost track of our conversation for a second. What were you saying?” I focused back on her, acting like I wasn't thinking of getting down on my knees for my young employee, who didn't even know I had such dirty thoughts about him. 

Should Guel ever get wind of my obsession and perversion, he would be right out the door, with a resignation letter on my desk. I just had to keep it under wrap so he could be with me for as long as it would to get rid of the damned obsession.

“I'm just saying…” She looked unsure, like she shouldn't even mention what she was about to. I didn't press her, knowing she would eventually say what it was. “Do you mind if Guel applies for the position? I just… He….”

“Guel?” I blinked, looking more stunned than I thought I would. “The new employee?” I asked, to be certain it was the same Guel, not some new man that would turn out to be a twink…

“Yeah. He proposed the idea two days ago, but I told him it wasn't ideal, but seeing how you —”

“I don't think it's a good suggestion.” I shook my head. It was a damned bad idea. Having Guel as my secretary would test all my self-control. We would see each other frequently and…

God, no. 

I just don't want to think of what would happen if I ever spend the night in the office with him. 

No.

I need to stop. Guel is too young for me, too fucking young. 

“Why? You already approved of him. I see no harm in letting him be a temporary secretary. It's only for 7 months. After that, he can resume his position while I take mine. And you won't even have to pay him extra.”

The offer was too enticing, too good, that I wanted to reach out and grab it with both palms, but I dared not. I shook my head. Guel was just too young. Letting him be my secretary would lead to either tainting his innocence or making him disappear. I just couldn't afford the latter.

“Come on,” she nudged me, when the elevator opened and we stepped out.

My feet stopped moving when I saw him, leaning casually on the wall, chatting with Rose, who was all smiles. I clenched my fists tightly, until they almost hurt. I saw red. The jealousy that blossomed from my stomach, to the rest of my body, felt like an erupting volcano, and it all intensified when Benny leaned in to whisper.

“They look good together, don't they?”