ログインChapter 4
AVALINE
The cruelty that was present in their voices as they made jokes about it so casually made my blood boil, but I forced myself to remain calm in front of them and not pay them any attention.
I had heard these same words before in my previous life.
Not only that, I had actually considered obeying them because I thought it would make the brothers love me more. The memory of my last life made me sick.
"Of course," I said, my voice sounding steady despite the the rage building in my chest. "I'll take care of it."
They took my words as an agreement or as they always did.
Without another glance at the suffering child on the floor, they turned and left my room, their footsteps echoing down the corridor as they headed off to their precious picnic.
The moment I was sure they were gone, I rushed to Aida's side. Her fever seemed to have worsened in just the few minutes they had been in the room, and her breathing was becoming more labored.
"Shh, baby," I whispered, gathering her small body into my arms. She was so light, so fragile, like a bird with broken wings. "We're going to get you help."I had wasted precious hours the first time, this happened as I was determined to chase after the brothers, while the logical part of me was telling me that our pups would be perfect and I should make sure that I was the one that they claimed.
Wrapping her in the warmest blanket I could find, I carried her from my room and made my way through the hallways watching for any sign of his mate and Ollie.
The early morning light filtered through the windows, casting long shadows on the stone floors. Most of the pack was still sleeping, unaware of the drama unfolding in their midst.
The healing chambers were located in the east wing of the pack house, where the morning sun would provide the best light for the healers to work. I had only been there a few times in my life, usually to treat minor injuries sustained during my servant duties.
Elder Mira, the head healer, looked up in surprise as I burst through the door with Aida in my arms. She was an older woman with silver hair and kind eyes, one of the few people in the pack who had ever shown me genuine kindness.
"Avaline? What's wrong?" she asked, immediately moving toward us as she saw Aida's condition.
"She's been fevering for days," I said, my voice tight with worry. "It's getting worse. Please, she needs help."
Elder Mira took Aida from my arms without wasting a single moment as she stayed carrying out tests, assessing the child's condition, trying to figure out what was wrong with Aida.
"Lay her here," Seraphine instructed, as she started checking up on the girl.
I watched nervously biting my lips in fear as she began her examination, checking Aida's temperature, listening to her breathing, feeling for swollen glands that was in her body. Her frown deepened with concern as she was seen going through the charts and clearly not liking what this meant.
"This is serious," she said finally, turning to look at me as she continued speaking. "Her fever is very high and is reaching critical levels at this point. If it had gone untreated much longer..."
She didn't need to finish the sentence. I knew what she meant. Aida could have died. Would have died, if not for the second chance I had been given.
"Can you help her?" I asked, though I already knew the answer to that question.
In my previous life, Elder Mira had saved Aida's life. She would do so again.
"Yes, but it will take time," she said, already moving to prepare different herbs and potions that will be needed to help treat Aida.
"She'll need a lot of monitoring for the next day or two. The fever needs to break naturally, but I can give her things to make her more comfortable."
I nodded my head slowly, settling into the chair beside Aida's bed. "I'll stay with her."
Elder Mira gave me a surprised look at that as she seemed to look at me again and asked with a raised eyebrow. "
Are you sure? I heard the young Alphas were planning some sort of outing today. Don't you usually accompany them?"
The question stunned me because it revealed how pathetic my previous behavior had been.
Even the healers knew about my desperate attempts to win Dion and Alistar's affections.
"Not today," I said firmly, clenching my fists as I looked at her and added.. "Today I'm exactly where I need to be."
The hours passed slowly as I sat down by Aida's bed watching her, I was terrified that she was going to get worse during the night if I ended up napping so I kept a constant vigil by her side.
Elder Mira came and went, checking on her patient, adjusting the drugs that she was giving Aida, offering me food and water that I barely touched, as I had no appetite at the moment.
All my attention was focused on the small girl who had never stopped loving me, even when I had given her every reason to.
As the sun began to set outside the windows, Aida's fever finally broke as her temperature returned back to normal and her breathing became deeper and more regular. Elder Mira smiled as she checked her temperature.
"She's through the worst of it," she announced, happily, checking her pulse.
"She'll sleep peacefully now."
I felt waves of relief coursing through my body at once that I nearly wept. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you so much."
"You did the right thing bringing her here when you did," Elder Mira said softly.
"She's lucky to have someone who cares for her so much."
I settled back in my chair, feeling the effects of my vigil.
It was well past midnight, and I had been awake for nearly twenty hours straight. But I couldn't bring myself to leave Aida's side.
I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, the door to the healing chambers was pushed open with such force that it made a loud noise. I jerked awake, my heart racing as Dion and Alistar stormed into the room.
Their faces were filled with rage, and I could smell the alcohol on their breath. It was clear that they had been drinking, which meant their tempers would be much worse than usual
"Where the hell were you?" Dion growled, his voice carrying the full weight of his Alpha authority, as he added.
"We waited for hours!"
Alistar's brown eyes were filled with fury as he looked between me and Aida's sleeping form.
"Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to have to explain to the entire pack that our servant had stood us up?"
I stood slowly, placing myself between them and Aida's bed. In my previous life, I had been terrified of their anger, and had stammered out apologies and excuses, trying to appeal to them to forgive me.. But not this time. This time, I had chosen correctly.
"I was taking care of someone who needed me," I said quietly, my voice sounding steady despite the trouble that I knew that I was in.
"You were supposed to be with us," Dion said, hos voice dropping down to a low dangerous whisper as he grabbed my arms, harshly making me wince as he kept talking. "When we give you an order, you follow it. No exceptions."
I met his eyes steadily, seeing him clearly for perhaps the first time, for the disgusting creature that he was.
"Aida almost died today. If I had left her alone to go on your picnic, she would have died."
"So what?" Alistar snapped angrily, still not feeling concerned that a life had been at stake.
"She's not even part of our pack. She's just some stray you picked up in the woods. She means nothing."
Their casual dismissal of the life of a child made my heart cold. This was what I had wasted my previous life trying to win.
"She means everything to me," I said simply.
And for the first time in my life, I meant it.
Chapter 54ZIRAELIt was, I recognized, a more elaborate lie than her earlier attempts, constructed with enough plausible detail to withstand casual scrutiny. But it was still a lie, and I felt the recognition of that fact settle uncomfortably alongside the genuine tenderness building in my chest as I watched her fight to maintain her composure despite the fever still visibly wracking her body."Very well," I said finally, choosing, as I had chosen once already during our journey home, to extend patience rather than force a confrontation she clearly wasn't ready to survive. "I will not call for a healer, if that is truly your wish. But I would ask that you allow me to remain, at least until the worst of this passes. I would not feel right leaving you alone in this state, regardless of whatever explanation you've offered for its cause."Something in her expression softened at that, genuine surprise flickering across her features as though she hadn't qu
Chapter 53ZIRAELI had not intended to visit Avaline's quarters that night. My original purpose had been considerably more mundane — a matter of scheduling, a message I meant to have delivered regarding the following week's diplomatic correspondence, one that could easily have waited until morning had some restless instinct not pulled me toward her wing of the palace instead of my own study.I had learned, over my long centuries of rule, to trust such instincts rather than dismiss them as idle whim. They had served me well in matters of war and politics alike, warning me of danger before conscious thought could catch up to whatever my senses had already registered. I did not yet understand why that same instinct had begun attaching itself so persistently to Avaline, but I had stopped questioning it somewhere during our journey home from Nightwood, content simply to follow where it led.It led me, that particular evening, to the corridor outside her r
Chapter 52AVALINEI counted the remaining pills for the third time that morning, as though recounting might somehow conjure more from the small, dwindling collection hidden inside the lining of my second dress. Seven left. Seven doses, and no clear way to obtain more before they ran out entirely.I had known this day was coming. Elder Mira had given me a year's supply before I left Nightwood, but a year's supply, I had learned, meant something different once I began accounting for the days I'd taken double doses during moments of particular panic, the handful of pills lost when one bottle had cracked during our journey and spilled half its contents into the dirt before I could gather them back up. What should have lasted considerably longer had instead worn down to almost nothing within the span of a few short weeks, and I had been too consumed by the business of simply surviving each day to notice how quickly the supply had thinned until it was nearly too late t
Chapter 51LUCERION"I promise," I said. "And I do not make promises to children lightly, Aida. I have lived a very long time, and I have learned that promises made carelessly cause more damage than honesty ever could. So understand that when I tell you this is your home now, permanently, without conditions attached, I mean it entirely."She studied me a moment longer, as though testing the sincerity behind my words, and I let her look, understanding that trust, for someone who had been taught so thoroughly to expect its betrayal, could not simply be demanded but had to be earned through patient, consistent proof."Why?" she asked finally. "Why do you want us here? We're not anything special. Mummy's just a servant, and I'm not even really her daughter, not by blood."The question struck me harder than I expected, and I felt something fierce and protective rise in my chest at the casual, practiced way she dismissed her own worth, clearly repeating so
Chapter 50LUCERIONI had not expected to enjoy the company of a five-year-old child nearly as much as I found myself enjoying it, and the realization sat strangely alongside everything else I thought I understood about my own nature.It began, as most things with Aida seemed to begin, with a simple request that quickly grew into something considerably larger than either of us had anticipated. She had found me in the palace library one afternoon, curled into a window seat with a book Fenwick had selected for her, struggling visibly over a passage that clearly exceeded whatever reading instruction she'd received during her brief, brutal childhood at Nightwood."What does this word mean?" she asked, holding the book up toward me with the particular directness that seemed to characterize everything about her, no hesitation, no careful calculation of whether the question might annoy me.I glanced at the word she indicated, unremarkable enough on its own,
Chapter 49AVALINEIt should have felt easier than it did, this gentle, undemanding kindness offered so freely by people who owed me nothing and expected nothing in return. And in many ways, it was easier. Easier to breathe, easier to sleep, easier to watch Aida run laughing through the palace gardens without the constant, gnawing fear that someone might snatch that joy away at any moment.But beneath the ease, a quieter unease had begun to take root, one I couldn't quite shake no matter how many kind words Bettina or Fenwick offered, no matter how many peaceful nights passed without incident.Solaya's voice echoed in my memory more often than I wanted to admit, that final threat delivered in the courtyard just before our departure. You'll be back on your knees begging them to take you in, once you realize the mistake you've made. I did not believe, not truly, that I had made any mistake in choosing to leave. But I knew Solaya well enough, had watched her man







