CHAPTER 4 

“Logan! Let her go!” Vincent’s voice was starting to get blurry. I hold onto Logan’s large hand wrapped onto my neck. I was starting to lose my breath and black dots were starting to appear in my vision.

“Whoever dares to lay a hand on her deserves nothing but death!” He growled loudly. 

I close my eyes as another tear fell. This time, it wasn’t due to the fact that I’m being strangled to death, but to the words that pierced my heart more than anything that could hurt right now.

He’s really going to kill me.

Is this the fate I was destined to? Nothing special but death? 

I once found solace in the belief that love comes in different forms, and perhaps my purpose lies elsewhere, away from the constraint of a love that wasn’t mine to begin with.

But seeing this now, I guess there was no actual hope of me being really happy. 

I shut my eyes tight, as a lone tear fell, the final breath leaving my lungs. Everything feels heavy despite myself being away from the restraint of the ground.

Vincent’s voice was nothing but a soft ringing and my neck was numbed against Logan’s hands. My feet were tired from thrashing and I took one last smile to the balcony, the sky watching us from above.

Moon Goddess, you sly trickster. You must be having fun watching me navigate myself through this love triangle, are you?

Maybe I’ll one day find a parallel universe where I’m the leading lady.

Those words were the last I had before I let the darkness my own husband brought me succumbed my body, breathing my last.

“Morana, please come back to me.” 

Something seeped in my eyelids, something bright and annoying. My eyes were heavily closed. My throat was parched and bruised. My body was aching, and all I could feel was a pair of calloused hands gripping mine as though they were the most precious in the world.

I wince as the heavy sunlight hits my eyes. The first thing I laid eyes on was the opened window, its curtains to the side. Our room curtains.

I look around, my head pounding as I try to think of what had happened that resulted in me going back here when I remember just waking up.

I turned my head on the other side, and there I saw him. He was gripping my hand with both of his. Seeing me slightly move, his eyes frantically searched for mine.

The moment my eyes landed on his Teal orbs, everything flashed back as if a movie was playing in front of my eyes.

The burning pain I felt the moment I woke up from this very bed without Logan by my side. How I rushed out and saw Beta Vincent on the way out. 

“Morana, are you okay?” 

The courtroom. The butt naked girl, Logan’s mate. How I knocked her out. Logan strangling me. 

“Morana?” 

His bloody red eyes filled with hatred and pure intent of killing me right then and there. 

I instantly pulled my arm back to myself.

My hands sneaked up to my neck that was now covered in thick bandages. The exact feeling was still there, lingering in my skin. It will forever remain as though it was a scar that would haunt me forever.

He actually meant to kill me . . .

“Mo-Morana . . .” I glance towards the person beside me. Those eyes that were once bloody red were now back to its beautiful Teal. The hue I once admired.

Yet even now that it’s back to normal, I can’t help to think of the day it might once again turn to the darkest shade of blood there is.

Worry and guilt danced around Logan’s eyes. Tears brimmed in the corner of my eyes at the sight of him. We were both victims of things we cannot control. How does one survive that?

“Morana, I’m sorry.” He reached out to me and as though it was a bodily instinct, I instantly pushed myself back, away from his coming to comfort me.

I swallow the lump in my throat, my hands still covering my neck, as if protecting it from the predator that might once again strangle it. 

The predator who’s basically shaking in fear in front of me.

“I’m-I’m really sorry, Morana.” I looked away from him as my eyes caught a lone tear escaping his eyes. 

I kept my hands to myself, knowing if nothing had happened, I would be rushing to grab that face towards mine and kiss every tear that would slide into his cheeks.

However, how do you comfort someone when you’re also under the pain that same person inflicted?

I closed my eyes as I felt myself trembling. Those horrible maroon eyes once again haunting my gaze when I close it.

We let ourselves succumb to the well-needed silence in the room. I try to force the tears back in my head where it came from. 

Afterall, it’s not just my eyes that’s really tired right now, my heart is too. I can’t bear to see that look on his face again because I know I’ll falter.

That’s the effect he has on me because it has always been him, the only love I was willing to give my life for.

“I didn’t mean to—” Logan broke the frozen stillness between us, reaching over for my hand again. I pushed myself even further away from him and onto the edge of the bed, pulling my knees to my chest.

“I know.” I cut him off, finally staring at his eyes. We both searched each other’s soul on each of our windows. Him in my eyes, me in his. 

I gnaw on the insides of my cheeks before looking away. “You know I could never do that to you, right?” Logan muttered. This time, he didn’t reach out to touch me.

Perhaps he realized how much I have already suffered from his own hands. A strangle after a slap.

“And yet you did.” I mumble to myself, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. And yet he did, he hurt me for another woman. 

What are you talking about, Morana? Of course you’ll never be on the same level as his own true mate.

“Morana, I love you so much. I could never—” he stopped himself from saying he could never do that. At least he’s aware that he could indeed do that and has the highest potential to do that again.

“I would never do that intentionally to you.” he rephrased his words as he looked down. He knew he was far from stopping any of this once his wolf resurfaced at the sight of his wife again.

He knows it too well. 

“What will you do now, Logan?” I questioned, my voice lowering into a soft whisper. I had no strength to try and fight off this again. I hoped for him to be with me in rewriting this destiny he had.

But if he too wasn’t on my side, how else would I be able to take on this alone?

He remained silent from my question.  I know he’s suffering too. I have been recently aware of the feeling of being restrained in the hands of another. He, on the other hand, is restrained in his own hands, body, and of his heart.

His heart that forces itself to beat for one person and yet is fully convinced of the fact that it would never be able to defeat the urge to beat for another.

“Are you willing to go to war? To let this pack fight for us?” I mumbled. Beta Vincent’s words came into mind. 

“We’re all willing to fight for you here, Morana.” 

I close my eyes as I try to remember the warmth from that night, where Logan hugged me close to his as he lulled me to sleep.

When will those days come back?

“No,” I raised my gaze up at Logan. He seems to be lost in thought once again. “I can’t let this pack be a victim for our love.” he turned to me, his eyes searching for mine. 

“Morana?”

“I thought you were determined on this one when you were speaking with the council?” I asked, fiddling with my fingers.

It was me who firstly rejected the idea of being in a war, despite Vincent’s assurance. But seeing Logan, who’s my actual husband, taking a step back in fighting for me is hurting me more than it shouldn’t. 

Of course it was for the pack, he can’t risk this pack getting hurt. Just like my sentiment on this one.

“Did you reject her, Logan?” I mumbled, my heart clenching at each word. I slowly raise my head to look up at him. I anticipated his answer. 

Did he? 

Did he finally reject her, at least after knowing what this obsession he had with her did to me?

A long minute passed as I await his response when nothing came. I bite my lip as tears form once again in my eyes. 

I swallowed them in before nodding. Logan turned to me, his silence the only answer I would ever need. “Morana . . .” He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to wake himself up.

I, too, would want to wake myself up. Maybe this was a horrible nightmare. Perhaps we weren’t invited to George’s wedding, afterall. 

Maybe, we’d be in this bed, not in this position where I was moving further away from him, nor he was with me. Maybe we would be in each other’s arms.

I sighed, tucking both sides of my hair behind my ears. “Then, when will you reject her, Logan?” I murmured, my voice low and still hoarse.

“Logan,” I called. He was contemplating. 

Out of all the things he had to think about, it would be this. It wasn’t an ‘absolutely’ or an enthusiastic ‘of course, I will.’ 

No, he was actually thinking about it. Mating with another woman was actually up for consideration.

“Logan, are you going to accept her?!” I finally snapped, unable to hold my anger any longer. His eyes turned to me, wavering at my stern look.