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Chapter 57—Ducks in a Row
What do I do all this for?
This isn’t really my responsibility, nor does my boss expect me to handle this with no direct guidance from him. Yet, here I go without him, and I feel the exhilaration, the spirit to fight, and the will to bear the consequential pain—although at my young age, and having always been protected by my boss, I don't really know what that pain would entail.
Do I want to win, is that the reason I do this for? To score in life, as I score with men. Or do I want to win for him? To prove that I am worthy of critical responsibility, or worthy to be his, and his alone—he should not have shared me with Raymond; it's really his loss.
But if I am defeated, how would I feel then? But worse stil
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