NOTHING

I always wondered what it felt like to have everything you ever wanted. What it felt like growing up in an environment where you were loved.

It was an environment where you were allowed to be a kid and do what other kids did. I never had that and maybe that's why I felt like there was something in me that was broken.

I had wanted that life too. I wanted to have a mom and dad that loved each other not ones that wanted to kill each other.

Was it fair?

Was it fair that I was put in that situation as a child? Sometimes I sat down and thought to myself and said maybe she didn't know.

She didn't know that any of those things were going to happen but that did not excuse her.

Was I being mean for blaming her for putting us in such a situation?

I know people said things like it's their first time being a mom or a parent but weren't parents supposed to protect their children?

She didn't and every waking day it was all I could think of. The things that I could have avoided if she had fallen in l