Chapter 1

"W-Wait, babe! Ohhh—shit! Someone's here!"

"She's nothing. Ignore her."

I heard my husband's voice coming from the living room of our house.

I had been waiting for him to come home for hours. Earlier, I had actually been excited knowing that he would finally be here. I should have been happy.

But I wasn't.

I could never truly be happy in the life I had with him.

I had even cooked chicken curry for him, hoping—stupidly hoping—that maybe tonight, he would sit down and eat with me. That maybe, just for once, we could have dinner together like a normal married couple.

But every bit of hope inside me disappeared the moment I heard their voices.

What I heard felt like a brutal punch straight to my stomach.

I didn't know where I found the courage, but I stepped away from the dinner I was preparing just to take a look.

I stopped at the kitchen doorway. My hands were trembling.

One of them tightly held the ladle I had been using to serve the food, while the other clutched the hem of my clothes so tightly that my fingers began to hurt. And from where I stood, I saw the scene I had spent so long pretending not to see.

The same thing I had constantly forced myself to ignore. The same thing my husband had done countless times inside our own home.

I saw Gavin kissing another woman in the middle of our living room.

He kissed her hungrily.

Passionately.

Like she was something he had been craving for.

Something he had never, not even once, shown me.

He couldn't even hug me. He barely touched me.

Whenever I came close to him, he acted as though I carried some kind of contagious disease.

Yet there he was... Holding another woman like she belonged in his arms. Even through the tears blurring my vision, I could see their desperate, passionate kiss clearly.

Gavin knew I was there. He definitely knew I was watching. And he used that opportunity to humiliate me. Just like he always had throughout our two years of marriage.

"A-Are you sure?" the woman asked breathlessly, pretending to hesitate as Gavin began removing her clothes.

Did she really think he would stop just because she found out he had a wife?

I couldn't understand women like her.

How could they stomach doing something like this while knowing there was another woman somewhere who was suffering because of them?

How could they knowingly destroy someone else's life, then still carry themselves as if they were innocent?

As if they were somehow better?

As if they were the victims?

"She's just my maid, Cess. Don't mind her. Come on... I've been holding myself back from you for too long."

Gavin didn't even bother looking toward the kitchen.

He didn't look at me.

Didn't look at my face.

Didn't care about my reaction.

His words were like sharp knives, driving straight through my chest.

The familiar tightness immediately returned, making it difficult for me to breathe.

I quickly turned away and rushed back into the kitchen.

Their sounds followed me.

Every breath.

Every moan.

Every sound coming from the living room slowly killed something inside me.

My entire body trembled with both anger and pain.

I wanted to hurt them. God, I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something. I wanted to lose control.

But I didn't have the courage.

I never did.

Instead, I leaned against the kitchen counter, feeling my stomach twist violently from the pain. My eyes slowly moved toward the chicken curry I had spent the entire day trying to perfect.

I had watched tutorials for hours because I wanted to cook something properly for him. I wanted him to enjoy something I had made. I wanted to prove that I could be more than the woman who only knew how to prepare frozen meals.

And suddenly...

I wanted to laugh.

Because once again, everything I had done was completely pointless.

He wouldn't even notice it. No matter what I did. No matter how hard I tried. He would never see me.

You're such an idiot, Alia.

When was the last time your husband ever ate with you?

The sounds from the living room became almost unbearable.

Their bodies moving.

Their voices.

The noises I desperately wished I couldn't hear.

I slowly sank to the floor and covered my mouth with both hands, desperately trying to stop the sobs that had been struggling to escape my throat.

But I couldn't.

I cried.

I screamed silently against my palms.

I broke down until I no longer knew what I was supposed to feel.

Anger.

Pain.

Humiliation.

Or nothing at all.

For one horrible moment, I wanted to hurt myself.

Because somehow, I thought physical pain would be easier to endure than listening to what was happening only a few meters away from me.

"Woman, did you cook? Cess is hungry." Gavin's voice suddenly echoed behind me.

Harsh.

Impatient.

Demanding.

I immediately stood up in surprise and quickly wiped my face. I hadn't even realized how long I had been sitting there, trying to calm the pain inside me.

I didn't realize they were already done.

"A-Almost. I'll just prepare everything," I whispered, my voice shaking uncontrollably.

I felt sick.

Disgusted.

The thought that he had just been with that woman moments ago made my stomach turn. Gavin and I had never slept together.

Not once.

He didn't sleep beside me. He always stayed in the guest room. And I had no choice but to accept it.

Because the last time I gathered enough courage to complain, he had only screamed at me.

"I'll set the table. I'll call you when everything is ready. I'm sorry."

"Hurry up. This is the only thing you're supposed to be good at, and you're still pathetic at it." His words pierced through me.

"You really are useless, Alia."

Useless.

Worthless.

Pathetic.

It was almost funny.

I had done everything for him. I followed every command he gave me. I allowed myself to become nothing more than a servant—the same thing he introduced me as whenever people asked who I was.

I performed every responsibility expected from a wife. I cooked for him. Cleaned after him. Waited for him.

Took care of everything. Yet he never appreciated any of it. Not even enough to treat me like a human being.

Then again... I wasn't the woman he loved.

I bit my lip so hard that I tasted something metallic. I already got used to the taste of my own blood.

I wanted to answer him. God, I wanted to fight back.

But I didn't have the courage.

I couldn't.

"I'm sorry, Gavin. I-I'll hurry up. I'm sorry." I couldn't fight and leave him.

And in the end... All I ever did was pretend.

"Pretending to be useful is already disgusting enough. Hurry up before I make you sleep outside."

That was the last thing he said before I heard his footsteps leaving the kitchen.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down before finishing what I was doing.

But before I could even finish... Another woman walked inside.

The woman Gavin had brought into our home. She looked at the food I had prepared before giving me a mocking stare.

She slowly walked toward me. And then I smelled it. Gavin's cologne was all over her.

My hands immediately curled into fists.

"You really think a home-cooked meal will make him forget everything else?" she whispered mockingly.

Every word was meant to remind me exactly where I stood in my husband's life.

"My job is to cook for my husband. You don't have anything to do with that," I answered firmly, although my voice still trembled.

She laughed softly.

"But I'm the one doing the things you should be doing as his wife."

My jaw tightened.

"While you're busy playing the perfect little wife, I'm the one keeping your husband's bed warm." She leaned closer.

"You can't even satisfy him the way I can." Something inside my chest twisted painfully.

My fists clenched tighter.

The audacity of this whore!

"Get out. I'm not finished yet." she smirked.

Her eyes slowly traveled over my simple house clothes.

"Husband?" She laughed again.

"Honey, look at yourself." Her eyes were filled with disgust.

"You look like you belong in a garbage bin, not in his bed." My chest tightened because of what she said.

"Do you even know what Gavin and I did on your sofa?" My breathing stopped.

"He screamed my name while you were here cooking that trash." She tilted her head after she said that. clearly mocking me.

"Aren't you embarrassed by yourself?" I stared at her for a second.

My entire body was shaking in too much anger, but I don't have a choice.

"If being a wife who isn't wanted by her own husband is shameful..." I said coldly, "...then being the woman who sleeps with a married man is even more embarrassing."

Her eyes widened slightly. She clearly hadn't expected that.

She probably thought I was the type of woman who would simply stand there and allow her to humiliate me.

And honestly... Maybe I had been that woman for far too long.

Of course, she felt superior.

Why wouldn't she?

Gavin couldn't even treat me better than a piece of garbage. But before I could say another word, she suddenly grabbed a glass from the table and threw it onto the floor.

The sound of it shattering echoed through the kitchen like a gunshot.

I flinched.

She kicked one of the chairs away before quickly throwing herself against the counter.

And then—

She screamed.

A sharp, terrified scream. As if someone had hurt her. As if she was the victim.

Was she insane!?

"W-Wait! What are you—" I didn't even know what to say. What was she doing?

"Gavin! Baby! Please help me!" What?

Was she seriously doing this?

"H-Huh? What are you talking about?" That was all I could say as panic slowly took over me.

I hadn't done anything to her. The sound of heavy footsteps suddenly echoed through the hallway.

My heart began pounding violently inside my chest.

Confusion. Fear. Panic. Everything hit me at once.

"What is happening? I didn't even—" I didn't get the chance to finish.

Gavin suddenly stormed into the kitchen. His eyes were blazing with anger. And he saw the mess. The broken glass near my feet. The overturned chair.

And his woman standing in the corner, holding her arm as if I had actually hurt her.

Her hair was messy. And to make her little performance even more convincing... There were tears in her eyes.

"What the fuck happened here, Alia!?" Gavin immediately turned toward me.

His voice was rough and accusing, the sound of it making the hairs on my body rise in fear. He quickly rushed toward Cess and helped her stand, not even noticing how hard his shoulder slammed against mine and nearly caused me to lose my balance. But he didn't care. Cess continued with her act, immediately throwing herself into my husband's arms as if she were terrified.

"Baby! I just came in to help her, but she suddenly went crazy!" She cried against him.

"She knocked the glasses down and then... then she pushed me!" Her voice cracked dramatically.

"I thought you said she was just your maid?" She pointed at me that made me shock again.

"She's obsessed with you! She hurt me, Gavin! And she said horrible things to me!"

"Gavin, t-that's not true!" My voice immediately broke as I tried to defend myself from his vicious lying bitch.

"She did that to herself! I-I was just standing here! I didn't do anything!"

"Shut your goddamn mouth, Alia!" His voice thundered through the kitchen.

I froze.

"You always find a way to act like a brat! You're acting like a fucking child!"

My shoulders dropped because deep inside, I already knew the truth. It didn't matter what I said or how desperately I tried to explain myself—he would never believe me.

"B-But I didn't—"

"I heard the glass break, Alia!" He stepped closer.

"I heard her scream!" His eyes narrowed on me.

"Why the hell would she hurt herself?" His voice rose.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?"

"She's the one who's crazy, Gavin!" I finally screamed back.

"I didn't do anything!" My entire body was trembling.

"Can't you just believe me?" My voice cracked.

"For once?"

Tears filled my eyes again.

"Please... just look at the mess!" I desperately pointed around the kitchen.

"Why would I destroy the only thing I have left to give you?"

"I worked on this all day!" Gavin looked toward the table. But nothing softened in his expression.

Nothing.

He stared at the food I had prepared as if it was worthless. As if everything I had done was worthless.

"Stop pretending to be a damn good wife." His voice was filled with disgust.

"We both know you're nothing but a devil in a cheap dress." My heart shattered.

"I don't give a fuck about the garbage you cooked!" He pointed toward the broken glass.

"Clean this mess."

"G-Gavin..." My voice became hoarse, losing hope.

"I'm your wife." My fingers tightened around the hem of my clothes.

"I'm your wife..."

You should believe me. You should be the one standing beside me, the one protecting me when everyone else was against me. But no matter how desperately those words begged to escape, I couldn't bring myself to say them.

Something was stuck in my throat.

I could barely breathe. Gavin suddenly let out a cold, mocking laugh. The sound echoed painfully throughout the quiet kitchen.

"Wife?" He looked at me with nothing but contempt.

"In your dreams, Alia."

"You're nothing but payment for your gambling father's debt." Every word felt like another knife.

"And because my father owed your father a favor, he forced this marriage."

I couldn't move.

"You were married to me because my father wanted to repay a debt." His eyes were cold.

"Don't act like you're anything special."

"You are nothing but an eyesore in this house." My breathing became uneven.

"I've tolerated you for long enough." His eyes darkened.

"But now you're hurting people?" His voice became colder.

"Know your fucking place." I couldn't move. It felt as though someone had poured freezing water over my entire body.

And once again... I remembered how I ended up in this horrible situation.

My husband—the man I had loved since high school—picked up his mistress and carried her out of the kitchen. As he did, he whispered sweet, comforting words to her, the kind of words I had spent years silently wishing to hear from him. And despite everything, I couldn't stop myself from hoping.

Maybe, just once, he would turn around and ask if I was okay. If I was hurt. If I was crying. Anything at all. Even if he didn't ask as my husband.

Even if it was only because I was another human being standing in front of him.

I watched them walk away. And before they completely disappeared from my sight...

Cess looked back at me.

That was when I saw it.

Her secret smile.

A victorious smirk.

She buried her face against Gavin's neck while looking directly at me, a victorious smile hidden beneath her innocent act. She had won. And I was left alone inside that messy kitchen, surrounded by broken glass, overturned furniture, and the food that was slowly growing cold—the food I had lovingly prepared for a man who would never love me.

Yes, you heard that right. My father traded me to Gavin Romano, not as the woman he would love and not because Gavin had ever wanted me, but as payment for my father's debt. My father used to work as Gavin's driver, and years ago, he had once saved Gavin's father's life.

Because of that debt of gratitude—and because of the debt my own father owed their family—Uncle Gab decided that marrying me to Gavin would somehow settle everything.

As if placing a ring on my finger was enough to hide the truth. My own father had used me as payment.

I thought entering Gavin's world was the fulfillment of the dream I had carried for years.

I had loved him since high school.

We attended the same school.

He was already in college back then while I was still younger.

I admired him from afar.

Loved him silently.

Never asking for anything in return.

Just hoping...

That maybe one day, he would finally notice me.

I never knew that the dream I had prayed for so desperately would eventually become the nightmare I couldn't escape. Because the world I stepped into wasn't a palace.

It was a modern hell.

In his world, I wasn't his queen. I was nothing more than a permanent stain on his reputation. A living reminder of a marriage he never wanted. A forced obligation he despised with every breath. A nuisance he was condemned to see every single day.

And while he slowly destroyed me... I slowly realized something.

Some people don't just break your heart. They can destroy everything you are. They can tear away your confidence.

Your dignity.

Your self-worth.

Until one day, you look in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back at you. And do you know what hurts the most?

It's not the betrayal.

It's not even the other woman.

It's the truth that the deepest wound comes from staying beside someone you already know will never love you.

Day after day, you keep fighting for a love that was never yours to begin with. You keep hoping. Keep waiting. Keep breaking yourself apart.

For someone who has already decided... That they will never choose you.