A LOVE I CAN'T AFFORD

Aurora's POV

My heart immediately jumped into my throat and started beating there again. Then he took the journal away from my grasp. I hardly held on to it, my mind spiraling from the shock of what I just read and him catching me.

"I didn't see anything!" I denied it before he could even utter a word.

His eyes were laid on me heavily.

"You didn't?" He asked and it was almost teasing.

"No!" I said crossing my hands in front of my body then he came closer, "So you didn't see the part where you're always on my mind nearly driving me crazy?"

I was lost for words, I had never seen Coltas a guy, in fact, I even teased the other girls our age who were gushing over him acting like he was the moon goddess's gift to the wolf kind.

But now without my permission, I could see it, or perhaps I always did but didn't want to ruin the dynamic between the two of us. Nobody pushed me to train harder than Colt when it felt like my whole body was about to break down. Just seeing him push forward was enough to propel me as well.

And now he was a little too close to his scent, an enticing mix of musk and leather.

The more he came closer the more I could smell it, just because my father had masked my wolf energy did not mean that it had been eradicated, actually it was the opposite.

Suppressing the power constantly made it boil over and from time to time I would have to shift just to loosen some of the tension that had built up.

Those moments were always secret.

Because no one could ever find out but I was not a complete witch.

They could never discover what half of my blood contained.

Suddenly I was up on my feet, "my Dad asked me to give you something," he said shoving the particular item into his arms. "There's no need for me to be here now so I'll leave –"

"Running away again?" He said to me as I was halfway to the door and I whipped back so fast that my hair flew in my face and I pushed aside the strands.

"What do you mean I'm running away?" I demanded to know heatedly.

He folded his arms, "exactly what I just said, you pretend to be all nice and friendly but I know you keep everyone else at a distance whenever they try to cross the line with you you make sure to remind them that it's never that deep you push them away with a smiling your face, you've mastered it so naturally that some people don't even notice…But I do notice everything about you,"

Suddenly it felt like there was something caught in my throat that wouldn't go down.

"You're exaggerating," I said, trying to downplay his observation.

It was true that I could never let my hair down around anyone in this place, the only person on my side was my dad. If my son had an accident I revealed my wolf energy. He wouldn't be speaking to me in that soft mournful voice that made me want to risk it all.

He got up and walked to me, no more like he marched over until we were standing face-to-face not exactly cause I had to tilt my head a bit, he had a growth spurt the previous year and was much taller.

"I knew you were doing it again…why do you always do this Aurora? I'm trying to figure you out but every time I get the answer to one question it's like 10 more pop-up. Can't you see that I'm trying?" His voice was becoming cracked, nothing like the confident smooth tone it's usually followed.

I gulped, my heart hitting my ribs directly.

More than anything I wanted to confess.

To tell him the truth about the other half of my blood.

That's all these years I had never lost my memory.

On one side I saw him embracing me calling me silly forever thinking that something like that would make him hate me then on the other side I imagine his face curdling up with the discussion as he reported my father for housing a wolf.

I would be killed on the spot, people that I had called friends for so many years would waste no time in ending my life, and as for my father, the best case scenario for him was having his powers taken away permanently and being pushed out into a territory of wolves.

"Coltit's just a silly crush, you'll get over it eventually in fact maybe it's not even a crush at all perhaps you're just spending so much time together that you think that way, and in a couple of weeks you'll find someone else and forget all about this ridiculous feeling you have,"

"I can understand if you don't feel the same way…" he said his voice icy, "... But isn't it another thing to deny my feelings altogether? Am I not even allowed to care about you that way?"

If only he knew that his words were like knives going out of my chest one after the other then maybe he would stop. I backed away and he looked like he was about to reach for me but held back pulling his hands down to his side.

"Tomorrow let's go back to training, I'll forget all of this ever happened and we can go back to the way we used to be. Don't you think that's better?"

I stretched out my hand hoping for a handshake of agreement.

There was no particular emotion in his eyes; they seemed empty except for the crushing weight of sadness behind them. Then with a heavy sigh, he went over to his bed, saying nothing at all to me.

I left quickly before I went back on my decision. I thought about ending my dual training with him but decided that would make things more awkward between the two of us. I had no idea what Coltwas going to do next but I would be lying if I said it didn't shock me.

He stopped coming to our training sessions for an entire week then showed up with a girl who had dirty blonde hair and said; "Hi Aurora say hello to my girlfriend,"