MasukWhen class ends, I hang back while Mr. LeMonde gathers his papers. Carter is the first one to stalk out of the class. The other students file out quickly too, probably rushing to their next classes or skipping them entirely. I hover near his desk, my nerves taut like a stretched rubber band
“Good morning, sir,” I force out as he turns to leave.
He looks up. When his eyes meet mine, they seem to twinkle, like this isn't the first time he's seen me. I'm drawn to them. They seem to promise mischief, antics that may get me burned, but yet will enjoy as I stand in the flame. “Good morning, What's your name?”
I swallow, felling the familiar weight of shame. I strangely feel both nervous and almost turned on. “I'm Jackson. Ellie . Ellie Jackson,” I stutter.
“Yes Ellie , what can I do for you?”
“I was wondering if. . . I could change my partner.”
He leans back slightly, not looking surprised at all.“Well, it's possible. But that's a lot of stress moving people around to accommodate you so I'd need a reason, a good reason.”
I open my mouth and close it again, like a gaping fish. I can't tell him the real reason. I found out that Carter's parents are two of the four founding members of the school so it would put me right in his path, daring him to act on his threat.
Maybe I can tell him part of it. “Yes of course. To be honest, sir I just feel a little afraid of Carter. I feel like we wouldn't pair well and that would affect my grades.”
My LeMonde nods, as if completely agreeing with me. Then he walks up to me and have to look away from his eyes. He stops in front of me, standing shoulder to shoulder with me. He might even be a little taller than me, if I could just raise my eyes to check.
He places his hand on my shoulder and I almost sigh. Maybe I'm touch deprived or just very stressed because my mouth parts and I hope to God he can't hear my pants.
“I'm sorry, Ellie . But I’m sure you'll manage.”
My heart plummeting, I watch him pick up his briefcase. He turns at the door and grins at me, and suddenly I have a feeling, like he's toying with me somehow.
“Though, If there's anything else, anything at all, don't hesitate to contact me.”
I don't go to my next class, I can't risk coming in late and having Carter there looking for who to work off his anger on, or worse still run into him in the halls.
The rest of my classes, I get to early and tuck myself into the back of the class, silent.
I go home to an empty house. My parents have a date today, as they everytime they can get their days off to synch up.
Lunch is waiting in the fridge. I warm it up, eat with the TV droning on. It's only Tuesday but I feel like I've survived three weeks.
I toss the wrapper in the trash, where something bright yellow catches my eye. A baby’s smiling face looks up at me, half covered by a banana peel. I use to fingers to pick it out of the way. It’s an IVF pamphlet.
I must have stood there for ten minutes staring at the face of that random child before gently placing the banana peel over it
I shower, and get into bed. But I don't sleep, I can't. I stare at the ceiling for a long time.
My parents want to try for a baby of their own. Their very own flesh and blood.
Would they suddenly feel like there's a stranger living in their house, bumbling around causing more trouble than he's worth? I'm eighteen now, so perhaps they might just take me to college and leave me there.
They might stop loving me. And who would blame them?
Carter's Pov
I walk into the house late, as usual. My parents are in the living room having a very animated conversation.
“Carter, where have you been?” my mom asks sharply. I pause climbing the stairs a little take aback. They're usually too engrossed in themselves to notice these days. But, without waiting for an answer, she waves her hand. “Never mind that. Come sit.”
I obey and settle across from them, sitting side by side. There’s a strange tension in the room. Like a drawn bow, about to shoot an arrow into the fragile calm between them.
“We have news for you, honey.” She’s beaming. I don't like this. My dad, seated stiffly beside her, looks. . . blank. Not angry, not happy. Just absent, like he's blocked her out.
“What is it?” I ask slowly.
“I’m four weeks pregnant!” she announces.
My gaze darts to my dad, as the news shakes me to my core. Of all the things she could have said, I didn't expect that. But with all that's going on, maybe I should have.
“And I think it’s your father’s,” she adds with a dry, brittle laugh that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “He's been the one outside in the past month.”
They always said they might have one more kid, someone to be here when I go off to college. But his face doesn’t shift, not even a flicker of anything. He doesn't believe it's his.
I stay quiet for a while, even though my mind is screaming. What if it’s not? What this belongs to some random man, the gardener or even fucking Dante.
“Congratulations,” I say, my voice as heavy as a brick. I don't mean that, not in the slightest, but I try to add a smile. I don't think it forms all the way and I excuse myself.
I shower and get into bed, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe it's selfish, but I think it would be better if this baby never came. Things are so precarious right now and this might just be the wind that knocks this house of cards down.
Ellie’s POVIt started small like everything awful doesa whisper in the hallwaya laugh that lasted half a second too longsomeone pretending not to look while absolutely lookingBy second period it had mutatedby lunch it had grown teethApparently Carter and I had a moment in the libraryor so the universe decideda rumor that somehow turned into three versions before the day was even half overIn one version he kissed meIn another I kissed himand the third—my personal favorite—involved a love confession written on the back of my notebook which he supposedly read aloud in dramatic fashionOscar-worthy nonsenseBy the time I reached my locker, I could feel it—the air heavier than usual, like gossip had actual weightA pair of girls leaned near the drinking fountainnot even trying to be discreet“She literally fell on him,” one said,and the other giggled,“Sure, accidentally.”I slammed my locker harder than necessaryBooks rattled. So did my patience.---I told myself to ignore
Ellie’s POVThe universe has a terrible sense of humorbecause the one day I actually consider skipping classMrs. Kent decides to announce a group projectAnd not just any group project—a graded onea long oneworth half the semester’s sanity“Pairs will be assigned,” she says with the kind of joy people usually reserve for revengeand that’s when I know I’m doomedThe room fills with whisperspeople sliding desks closer to their friendsI pray for Bethanyfor literally anyonebut noMrs. Kent clears her throat like she’s about to ruin a life“Ellie... and Carter.”My stomach dropsThe whole class hums like it’s been waiting for this plot twistCarter glances at me, smirkinga predator amused by fate’s generosityI sink lower in my seat“I think the system’s broken,” I mutterbut Mrs. Kent’s already moved onSo that’s thatme and Cartertrapped together in the academic version of hell---After class, I gather my things slow, hoping he’ll leave firsthe doesn’the lingers by the doo
Ellie’s POVBy the time second period rolls around, my brain feels like someone left it on low batteryand my patience is at one percentMrs. Calloway’s voice hums in the background like a broken fanCarter’s sitting two rows over, pretending to read, but mostly just waiting for his next performanceBecause that’s what he does best—make a sceneand I, unfortunately, am his favorite stageI tell myself to focusto keep my head down, to just survive the day without being publicly humiliated for breathing wrongbut when the teacher asks for volunteers to read, I already know my luck’s expired“Ellie,” Mrs. Calloway says, like she’s tossing me into a pit for entertainment“Why don’t you take the next paragraph?”Of courseI open my mouth to start readingbut before I even finish the first line, Carter’s voice cuts inmocking, lazy, too loud“Could you speak up? We can’t all hear your mumbling.”Laughter ripples through the roomthin and sharpI freeze for half a second too long, and that’
Ellie’s POVThe morning starts out suspiciously normaltoo normalwhich in my experience means disaster is lurking somewhere behind the vending machineThe halls smell like cheap deodorant and burnt coffeestudents shuffle past half-asleep, phones glued to facesand for once, Carter isn’t in sightno smirks, no whispers, no reason to keep my shoulders tensed like a bowstringI should’ve known peace this early in the day was an illusionIt happens during third periodHistory, of coursebecause boredom attracts chaos like moths to a flameThe classroom door creaks open mid-lectureand just like that, silence floods inThe kind that only happens when someone new walks into a place where everyone already knows each other’s dramaHe’s tallnot Carter-tall, but enough that the teacher looks up like she’s not sure if she’s supposed to scold or salute himDark hair, messy but on purposeshirt rolled at the sleevestie hanging like it gave up halfway through the morningDante LeMondethe trans
Ellie’s POV******The cafeteria smells like grease and fearor maybe that’s just me projecting againeither way it’s too bright, too loud, too full of eyes pretending not to lookI keep my head downpretend my tray is fascinatingthe mashed potatoes have formed a shape like a frown and honestly I get itBethany sits across from me picking at her fries like they’ve personally offended her“You can’t just keep hiding,” she says finallyher voice is low, tired, like she’s already lost this argument before starting it“I’m not hiding,” I mumblewhich is a lie so bad it deserves a standing ovation“I’m just… adjusting my routes”She lifts a brow“Adjusting your routes? Ellie, you’ve been taking the long way to class like you’re avoiding landmines.”I stab a piece of chicken with my fork, watching the gravy bleed out“Landmines would be easier. At least they don’t smirk at you afterward.”The table goes quiet except for the sound of someone laughing three rows downCarter’s laughsharp, cl
Chapter 9Ellie's pov ************ I got home tired and my mom ignored my greetings as always. At this point I pretended not to care anymore because why not, dad was always away and I'm good as dead to mum. Seriously I think life sucks. Bethany complains about her siblings taking her mango puree and fighting for the remote and I cannot relate because news flash : I'm an only child. Anyways I go up to my room to rest before dinner and I pickup my phone because what else is more peaceful than phone in bed time. As I scroll through I*******m I see a pat from an anonymous account named "Ellie's worst enemy" and the post was "Ellie's a bed wetter, click for details" I threw my phone across the room in rage. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT ?!!!!!! Like WHYYYYYYY??? hell I started potty training at one. Like what the actual hell?? I took my laptop and FaceTimed Bethany "hey girl wassup" "I'm fine as a horse" I muttered "you don't sound fine though" "I SAID I'M FINE" I screamed at her "now I know







