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Chapter 36

“No. I can promise you they’re not. ”

I think about everything that’s happened since we lost Mom. How he pushed me away. How I pushed my friends away before, and now I’ve pushed Steve. Steve was right. I’m not taking my life back. I’m not fighting. Jason is still winning. And maybe… Just maybe he wasn’t all bad, either. It’s not something I will ever know. But maybe he just wanted to feel loved and didn’t know how to find it the way he needed to. Just like me. He’s responsible for his actions, and I’m responsible for mine.

Maybe if I could have been stronger, he wouldn’t have been in that car. Or that girl wouldn’t have been with him. Maybe she would still be alive, maybe not. There’s no way of knowing. It could have been the first day they met, or he could have been tricking her the Edwarde way he did me. Either way, I refuse to stand by anymore. Refuse to let people get hurt because I wasn’t strong enough to do something. Even though Jason is dead, I want to fight, for myself, for o
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