Chapter 81: The Public Kiss

The suit felt like armor, but the wrong kind. It was too tight across my chest, making it hard to breathe. I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting my tie for the tenth time.

"You're going to pull the silk apart if you keep doing that," Ivan’s voice came from the doorway.

I looked at him through the reflection. He looked perfect, as always. His dark hair was swept back, and his eyes were sharp. He looked like the prince of a kingdom I wanted no part of.

"There are going to be so many people, Ivan," I said, my voice shaking just a little. "The cameras, the reporters... what if they see something? What if I look at you the wrong way?"

Ivan walked over and stood behind me. He didn't touch me at first. He just looked at our reflections. "Let them look, Leo. They see what they want to see. They see a bodyguard and a ward. They see a soldier and a prize."

"But that's not what we are," I whispered.

"No," he agreed. He placed his hands on my shoulders. His grip was heavy. "But for today, you just have to play the part. Can you do that for me?"

I nodded, though my heart was hammering against my ribs. "I can try."

We walked down to the waiting car. It was a long, black sedan with tinted windows. The driver, a man I didn't recognize, stood by the open door. He didn't look at me. He didn't look at anyone. He was just a ghost in a uniform.

As we slid into the back seat, the cool air of the interior hit me. Ivan sat close. Not close enough for it to look strange to a stranger, but close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off his thigh.

"Where are we actually going?" I asked as the car pulled away from the curb.

"A gala for some 'charity' my father supports," Ivan said, his voice dripping with a bit of a bitter edge. "It’s a room full of sharks in expensive dresses. We stay for an hour, we smile for the photos, and we leave."

I looked out the window. The city was blurring past. "I hate these events. I feel like I'm on display. Like a painting someone might try to steal."

Ivan reached over and took my hand, squeezing it under the cover of a folded coat sitting between us. "No one is stealing you. I’d burn the building down before they got to the door."

"You shouldn't say things like that," I said, but I felt a warmth spread through me anyway. "It sounds dangerous."

"Life is dangerous, Leo," he replied.

The car began to slow down as we approached the main district. The streets were lined with people. There was some kind of festival or protest happening a few blocks away, and the crowds had spilled over. People were pressed against the sidewalks, holding up phones, looking for famous faces in the passing cars.

"Look at them," I muttered, watching the faces flash by. "They have no idea what’s happening inside these cars. They think it’s all gold and champagne."

Ivan didn't look at the crowd. He was looking at me. His eyes were dark, and there was a look in them I couldn't quite name. It wasn't the calm silence of yesterday. It was something restless.

"Do you think they’d be shocked?" Ivan asked suddenly.

"By what?"

"By the truth. By us."

"Ivan, don't," I said, a wave of panic hitting me. "The windows are tinted, but they aren't magic. If someone gets close enough..."

"Let them get close," he whispered.

The car came to a crawl as we hit a bottleneck in the traffic. A group of photographers was standing on the corner, their long lenses pointed at every dark car that passed. They were only a few feet away. I could see the sweat on their foreheads.

Suddenly, Ivan moved.

He didn't hesitate. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me toward him. My breath caught in my throat.

"Ivan, wait—"

But he didn't wait. He pressed his lips against mine.

It wasn't a gentle kiss. It was hard and desperate. It tasted like the fear I was feeling, but it also tasted like a challenge. He was claiming me right there, in the middle of the city, with a thousand eyes just inches away on the other side of the glass.

I was terrified. I thought I heard the clicking of cameras, though it was probably just the sound of my own blood rushing in my ears. I wanted to push him away, to protect us both, but my hands found his jacket and held on tight instead.

We're going to get caught, I thought. He's going to ruin everything.

But even as that thought crossed my mind, I kissed him back. I let my eyes close, blocking out the blurry shapes of the people outside. For those few seconds, the risk felt like a high I couldn't come down from. It was the thrill of being seen and being hidden all at once.

He pulled back just as the car began to move again. He didn't look guilty. He looked alive. His chest was heaving, and a small, crooked smile played on his lips.

"You're insane," I breathed, my heart racing so fast I thought I might faint. "You're absolutely out of your mind."

"Maybe," Ivan said. He reached out and straightened my tie again, his fingers lingering on my throat. "But did you feel that?"

"I felt like my life was ending," I said, though I couldn't stop looking at his mouth.

"No," Ivan said, leaning in so his breath hit my ear. "That was the feeling of being free, Leo. Even if it was just for a second. Even if it was behind a piece of glass."

I looked back out the window. The photographers were behind us now. I didn't know if they had seen anything. I didn't know if tomorrow my face would be on every screen in the city.

I looked at Ivan, who was now sitting back, looking as calm as if he had just been checking his watch.

"You're going to be the death of me," I whispered.

Ivan reached over and interlaced his fingers with mine, no longer hiding it under the coat. "Then at least you'll die knowing exactly who you belonged to."

I turned my head away so he wouldn't see me smiling, but I didn't let go of his hand. The terror was still there, cold and sharp in my stomach, but the thrill was louder. We were driving into a den

of lions, and I had never felt more awake.