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DON'T MISUNDERSTAND, I STILL LOATHE YOUR GUTS

Penulis: Kairal.K
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2025-02-02 19:59:26

ZADE

I have been having mood swings of late.

It's so damn annoying I don’t know if I want to strangle someone or cry. This is too alien for me and I know none of these emotions are mine but that doesn’t make me feel them all any less.

Like now, I am feeling so awful, so bad my chest feels like it's carving itself in and it’s all my fault.

I know it's my fault that Silvers is crying and feeling dejected, and this hating game I have going on is tanking so badly right now.

“You, good man?” Rowan sits next to me, putting his tray on the table. You look like you are mad at the food.”

“I am fine.” Far from it.

Ari and her girls all arrive at the table, and she opts to sit far from me. I guess we are still fighting. I haven’t gone to apologize and make amends so I know she is going to ignore me until I do. We lock eyes but she looks away, turning to Rhea to talk to her about something.

I should be worried and thinking of how to make amends with my girlfriend. I should be preoccupied with tha
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  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   ONLY OUR LOVE WILL TELL IF WE CAN SURVIVE THIS

    ZADE “She is the one eating. Lots of proteins, high-energy foods, and a glass of milk.” I turn to look at the wide-eyed girl who is looking so confused but wary.Does she think I will poison her in front of everyone or something? Not my style- the poison, I mean.“Don’t just stand there, get it and get lost, don’t make me regret this,” I mutter before making my way back to my table.I don’t miss the act that the whole academy just watched all unfold, probably heard everything too. No, my attention is back to my table and the way Olivia is watching me like she is going to incinerate me with just her eyes.Behind all that fury, I don’t miss the embarrassment and hurt. I am dick and I know it.“What’s that about? You are in team Ari now?” Rowan puts his fork down just as I sit down, exhaling. Livie“I didn’t know there were teams.”“What are you talking about? I thought you hated her, but clearly, that’s all in the past now,” Cass looks between me and the girl who is now walking out of

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-02
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   LET ME BE THE BETA TEST

    ARIThere shouldn’t be a need for me to attend these obnoxious classes.What is knowing how to kickbox going to help me when all I want to be is a lawyer and live away from all these snobby wolves?“I hate this class the most,” I grumble as I tug the shirt I am wearing. It’s baggy, almost covering the shorts I am wearing underneath.“I know but it’s mandatory. All werewolves should know how to fight and protect their alpha,” Mimi chirps next to me, a large bottle of water in hand.“You like it?” I raise my eyebrows. I am not judging, but she doesn’t seem like the type who would enjoy any type of sport. She is so doll like and cute, I want to put her in my pocket and protect her forever.“Oh no, I am just repeating what the teacher said on the first day of orientation.”“Wow, you are like a walking Wikipedia.”“I can’t help that I am smart and have a good memory. It should fill in the other areas I am lacking,” she pushes her glass up her nose.Someone's shoulder bumps me so hard I cra

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-03
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   WHO IS SHE?

    ZADE“Dude!”“Punch me like you mean to.”“Are you trying to black out?”“Are you chickening out? You can’t handle it?”“I just don’t want to box a maniac,” Cass raises his fists in front of his face. “Something bothering you?”“Shut up and come at me.” I don’t wait for him as I throw the first punch, getting him in his ribs. He doesn’t fall, despite the packed punch. Instead, he stops and starts getting serious.“I would rather die than be bonded to you.”Wow, she is something. She can say anything just to avoid admitting that she wants me, but that doesn’t make sense. She laughed in my face when I said she wanted me, and she called me a clown.She insulted and laughed at me, something that had never happened before. It's not that my ego is that fragile that it can get bruised over a few words. I just can’t get her words out of my mind. I rejected her, I hate her but then why am I bugged that she doesn’t want me? Why does it make me want to punch something hard?“Girl problems?” Cass

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-03
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DO BETTER AND TRY AGAIN

    ARI“New girl, you are paired up with Zade. He is the best at getting you up to par with things.”Amazing. The one person who wanted me gone is now going to teach me how to punch. Maybe that isn't such a bad idea, then maybe I can punch him like I want to so much.I wait for him to say no or complain but he doesn’t. He only clenches his jaw and walks off to the back of the class. Mimi is nowhere to be seen, probably left when I was busy hitting the jerk with handballs.Olivia doesn’t say anything, as she squares up with another student, but still watching me. I don’t miss the way her throat bobs up and down as I follow Zade.They always say it's not good to show your enemy your weakness, because then the chances of you being exploited get significantly high. These two have made my life a living hell, to choose to be a saint is to ask to be a doormat.Do as the Romans do, they said.“are you going to take the whole day?” zade’s annoyed voice grates on my nerves as I finally reach where

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-04
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   NEVER LET GO OF MY HAND

    ZADE“there you are.”I walk in the greenhouse to the girl laying on her back watching the butterflies, surrounded by the flowers.“How did you find me?” livie asks, her voice quiet, her attention on the butterflies flying above her face.“Isn't this the place you come to when you need to be alone?” I stand above her, looking down at her.Her dark hair is splayed on the ground, her eyes a little red at the corners."then you know I need to be alone right now.”I take the stool nearby and sit on it next to her. “why did you leave?”Her hand outstretches, a butterfly sitting on her finger. “I didn’t wish to see you and your mate flirting right on my face.”“that's not how it was.”She exhales. “I want to be alone, I am not in the mood for you right now.”“I know you, if I leave right now, you wont want to see me for a week.”“then you don’t know me at all.”The silence stretches between us. “I keep messing up,” I exhale, looking up at the greenhouse. “I am sorry livie”She sits up, wipi

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-04
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   HOW CAN IT FEEL THIS WRONG

    ZADEMy lips take in her lower plump one, sucking it into my mouth. She moans in my mouth when I sweep my tongue in her mouth, draw her closer, hand around her waist.Why is it … so dry? Why is there no passion I feel, no excitement nor spark between us?I pull away, eyes lowered as Livie breathes hard in front of me.“Wow.” Her breathy whisper tells me she enjoyed it. She doesn’t know how I feel or what I am thinking. “I missed that.”I cannot lie.I look at her round face, which is so beautiful in an aristocratic way, with full curly hair, and red lips from the kiss. She is beautiful and sexy. and yet …I rush her hair off her face, cradling her face. She looks happy, those eyes are hopeful, before she closes them and leans into my touch, her face pressing into my palm before she kisses it, hands clutching my wrist.“I brought you something.”Her brown eyes open and she smiles. “what is it?”Why is it this way?“you have to come with me to find out?” I stand up and offer her a hand.

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-05
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   MY WISH

    OLIVIA“I want to be with you tonight.”He doesn’t seem to be breathing, frozen in place. A bitter taste fills my mouth and I ready myself for the excuse that's about to come.I have known for a while now that my boyfriend doesn’t desire me anymore. He doesn’t touch me nor look at me the same way he used to look at me. At least back then, he pretended to care enough and be present enough to make me believe.He pretended enough with me and I was content with it, as long as I held onto the illusion of a happy couple, as long as we pretended that we were both happy with each other, then everything was perfect.When was the last time things were seamless and smooth and it didn't feel like we were characters just saying designated lines?“livie.” His sigh tells me everything. I nod, the burger feeling like metal sitting in my stomach. Turning my back to him, I sigh as I look around the rooftop.This damned place.It was where we escaped together, where we were just two kids in love. We had

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-06
  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   LET ME IN

    ZADEAs I watch the orange flame, I flick the lighter in and off.I can hear her. She is fast asleep.I push off the door and make my way toward the room I am meant to be in.I don’t have to knock, the door slightly ajar. I push it open, eyes adjusting to the slightly dark room and there she is.Standing at the front of the room, wearing nothing but lingerie that accentuates her body, looking like a sinful wet dream.“you came.”I odnt bother removing my leather jacket, stiding ovet to her. her gasp arouses something in me that akes me curl my hand around her neck and push her agsint the wall.Fear and … hesitation flashes in her eyes as I tighten my fingers around her throat.“Zade,” she tries to claw my hand away but it's useless.I don’t wait for her to utter another word, swallowing it in my mouth as I take her puckered lips in my mouth. I am not gentle, as I unclench my fingers, and I give her a bruising kiss.My teeth clang into hers. I can feel she is trying to keep up but she

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2025-02-06

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  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   I WILL LET YOU LOVE ME

    ARIZade is letting me take what I need from him, this time letting me have my way on my terms.It has been that way from the very beginning, but tonight, it's like he wants me to take care of myself using him and, in a way, take care of himself too, by using him.So when I guide him and press him on my opening, we both freeze, breathing heavily before I urge him with a pull of his hips to push inside me.And heavens, it feels delicious. The stretch, the feeling of him opening me up as my walls accommodate him until he is fully seated inside me …I contract, squeezing him, feeling the girth inside me and I want to swallow more of him, suck him in and keep him there … it’s a heady, good feeling.“Why won't you love me?” The hoarse whisper makes me open my eyes just as Zade looks at me. He is …crying?“What?” I ask, eyes wide.“Why did you say you can't love me?”“Because,” I shift, and we both groan. His hips jerk in response, and he starts moving slowly. He has forgotten about the que

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   SLOWLY THAWING

    ARIWhen the body is exposed to extreme cold, at some point, it stops supplying the less important parts with blood in order to save the vital organs.It has been quite similar to me. I have spent most of my life just functioning, and apparently it has been necessary for my body to cut off supplies to some of the things anyone my age would deem normal to have.There hasn’t been a case where I could feel anything other than flight and flight. But eventually, here I am.My body is thawing, slowly coming to life, and it feels so good.Zade’s tongue is slicking inside my mouth, seeking and touching every crevice inside. His body is pressed to mine to keep me up, one thigh pressed between my legs, one hand grabbing my butt, hips flushed.I am weak at my knees. I want him, I can feel him, and I am floating. I know I am kissing him, but I am also falling and falling, feeling safe that he will catch me.It’s a dam that has been let loose.He is mine. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should feel g

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   LET ME COUNT THE WAYS YOU KILL ME

    ZADE“But then it will be another, then another… if you can be swayed so easily, then is it even worth it?”“I wasn’t swayed easily. You and I know that there is more to us than a bond between mates.”“Hard to believe that when all that connects us is that.”“Our parents do connect us, too. Do you think we wouldn’t have crossed paths if we hadn’t been mates?”“We could have, but you would be intent on killing me or destroying my life like you did at the beginning.”“That’s true. But you can just chalk up my feelings and invalidate them, simplify them to one variable.”“It’s the only thing that is making sense. I mean, here I am, sitting in your love sanctuary, surrounded by your memories with her, and yet you are telling me it's me you want. What about her? Why was it so easy for you to just leave her?”“If you hadn't shown up, I already knew it would rather be her that I pretended with, cosplayed my inner wishful thinking even though it wasn’t true.”I close my eyes briefly before lo

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   DRAG ME DOWN WITH EVERY WORD

    ZADEThere is something dark, alluring, and compelling about Ari Silvers that I have never been able to fully comprehend.Her beauty and magnetism are not the traditional kind. It's raw, demands that you see her, revere her, and ache to be close to her, so you can bathe in it.She is beautiful in the traditional sense as well, but then you look again. And again, and again. You are drawn in, wanting, needing, desiring, and even wanting to corrupt.She is pure, she is dark, she is innocent, but also twisted. She is all that you wish you could hold and covet to yourself, but you cannot. For it is not to be held by others and coveted, stolen, but to be looked at, worshiped, and if you are good, to be bathed in.But never yours.She is sitting on the rooftop.I followed the feeling of our bond, and I am surprised, a little unsure why she would be here. This is where she fell, almost to her death after all.Her knees are pressed against her chest as she looks at the far distance, lost in wh

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   YES, SHE HAS ME BY THE COLLAR

    ZADEI stop behind one balding man, I think he is here because he is a legacy. Not the official family but still as important. I can see the sweat trickling down his neck into the stiff, tight suit he is wearing.If I wasn’t so sure before, now standing behind him as he reeks of fear … it's solid. My hand goes through his back, and I touch the organ that’s beating and warm in my palm.Gasps echo around, but no one says a word, as they look at me with horrified expressions, save for my father, of course.“This man,” I turn to Jude, “you missed this man.” My fingers close around the beating organ and pull my hand back. The body shakes, twitching before his head thumps on the table like a log. The scent of blood permeates the air, thickening it with the tension and fear pulsing in the room.I walk over to Jude and let the organ fall on his file, and he looks at it, eyes wide. I am sure he isn't breathing. After all, I just killed a legacy, and he has a lot of mess to clean up.And also,

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   JUDE, YOU ARE FAILING

    ZADEWe are back to ignoring each other.Or to be more precise, Ari has gone back to hating my guts and ignoring my existence. And when she sees me, when our eyes meet, those first two seconds, time seems to slow down, and it's only us. The world fades away, and it's us, and I usually get this feeling in my chest, this heavy thing that is threatening to drown me, but in a sweet way.It's only us, as if we know something, just the two of us, and then the moment is snapped and broken, and she is back to scowling at me, rolling her eyes.But I know, those few seconds, where it is only us, when time stops and we only see each other, feel each other… that is the truth of us.She told me she wanted devotion and then proceeded to lock herself in the bedroom before she left early in the morning, even though we did spend the night together.I didn’t sleep, not when she was in the next room and I knew she wasn’t asleep either. I listened to her breathing, every turn and twist in the bed.I list

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   ALL OR NOTHING

    ARI“What's going on inside this little mind?” his voice is so close to me, nose brushing my temple.I should feel something. A tingle, but I am so damn tired. All I want is to sleep, forget that I exist for a few hours before I start going back to my life. I can't escape it anymore, now can I?“Nothing,” I sigh. “I am just a little sleepy.”Is he expecting more from me tonight?I wish I had the girls with me. They would allow me to be in your space. Maybe I should call them, text them, but I don't have my phone. I remember crashing it in the hotel suite before I walked out into the traffic.Maybe I am not as okay as I think. But getting a grip is important.If I am going to avenge and face the people who ruined me to begin with, I can't let go of the reality. I need to be focused and work hard to make sure they don’t destroy me before I destroy them.I know I am not going to come out of it. The plans I made to go study law as further studies, get out of the pack and live my life as a

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   BROKEN DOLL

    ARIMy life is a mess.It’s a fucked life, painful, dry, bland, void of colour.I am ugly too, rotting slowly inside, underserving of anything good because that’s just what is set in stone for me.Despite it all, despite feeling all of that, as Zade looks at me like I mean something, like I matter … I can't help but want to be under that gaze for a longer time.He is looking at me how he used to look at Olivia, like he might love me, like I mean something. He wants to know if I am okay, taking care of me, a gentle, caring touch on my cold, withering soul.I don’t deserve it, and yet.I yearn for it. Crave it. I can't not shudder under it.“Do you want me to ask you?”Yes. I want him to ask me. I want him to push for me to tell him what's going on in my head. For him to fight for me. I am selfish like that. Mother didn’t say anything untrue, because here I am, asking and taking what doesn’t belong to me.I came into this life, took Olivia’s man under fate’s guidance, and yes. It hurt.

  • THE REJECTED LYCAN PRINCESS   WHY WONT YOU ASK ME?

    ARII don’t think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it … sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.“Are you okay?” he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.“Yeah,” I wheeze out. “Guess I am a little surprised.”“Why?” he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.“The first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.” That’s not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasn’t the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didn’t come fr

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