ZADEShe has been actively avoiding me.I am not mad that she left me in an almost burning car; that made me get even more turned on because she has the guts to do it and leave me for dead. The more she is cold and ruthless, the more I am getting addicted to her.The more I want.But then she wasnโt around. Not in school, not in class, not in her dorm; I couldnโt find her anywhere. She had blocked me out, too, from even feeling her.For three days, I have been anxious, looking everywhere for her, doing everything to get her location and when I find out she has been in this hotel, one of my fatherโs โฆ I relax a little.I found out two hours ago, and nothing was keeping me away from her anymore. I have to clamp my tongue down to avoid asking her if she is okay and if she can let me in.Yes, I am standing right outside her door, and I can hear her getting back to sleep again before I send another text threatening to kick her door open if she doesnโt get out.I ache to see her, I want to
ARII can feel eyes on me. Undressing me, caressing my skin painfully so that I shiver and get goosebumps, feeling the phantom touch.He is suffocating me.I wanted to forget, stop thinking, and be distracted until I can't see anything when I close my eyes. He is a perfect distraction tonight.I know itโs a mistake, that I shouldnโt walk into such situations, but I am too far gone to care. I know that it won't mean anything for me other than as a distraction. He is the only person who is eliciting any form of reaction.A feeling I havenโt felt in a long, long time. It feels so good, I want to sink into it and this time, chase and fall into that sweet dark feeling, get high off it and forget whatever demons I am running away from.He is the only boy who makes me feel this way, maybe because he is my mate or whatever, but that doesnโt matter. I want to see if I can feel that way with someone else.I turn and grab the man who has been dancing closely to me and pull him down for a kiss. I
ARII shouldnโt.My body hits the back of the door, as his lips connect to mine again, his entire body pressing on me. Hands roving over clothes, trying to get a feel, skin โฆ get enough but it's not. It's not enough.More.The kiss slows down, no, he slows down when his hands settle on my hips. His lips part from mine slowly, and the wet sound echoes around the hotel room as he looks at me with hooded eyes.He is about to talk. I am not here to talk, I donโt want him to talk to me, not now, not about this. I donโt want either one of us saying something that might break the spell, the bubble that we are in right now.So before he can utter another word, I lean forward and bite his lower lip, making him growl, before his fingers tighten around my waist, before they slowly slide down to my butt, squeezing me right as he kisses me open mouthed, his tongue dipping in my waiting mouth.A moan leaves my lips, shivering before I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer by his torso. I let
ARII can't deny that in this moment, all I feel, all my world is filled with โฆ is Zade Parker.A whimper leaves my lips as I feel his hand caressing me, his fingers trailing from my thighs, to my hip, going all the way up until he cups my heavy breast, his fingers flicking my nipple before squeezing it, rolling it.His mouth is on my other one, tongue licking and rolling it before he takes it between his teeth, grazing and biting.It's not gentle, pain and pleasure tethering on the edge. It's too much but not enough. He doesnโt take his eyes off me, not even as he pulls the nipple out of his mouth with a pop, watching me watch him.I can't ignore the heavy thing thatโs between his legs rubbing on my inner thigh as he moves, leaving a wet trail. He is hung, long, fat, I can see the veins, the weeping head โฆI swallow, eyes flicking to his face again, only to find that he has been watching me all this time. I want him. It's my first time, but he doesnโt need to know that. All he has to
ARII wake up with a start, feeling heavy but soon realize it's because of the arms and legs all wrapped around me, as if binding me in place.My throat is so dry, and I feel like I have run the whole night, but in a way, instead of being tired, my well has been refilled with clean, sparkling, cool water.Then it all starts coming back.Zade is sleeping next to me, his face pressed on my neck. I start to slowly get out of his hold, and he doesnโt wake up, not when I fall out of the bed and scramble to cover my naked body with a sheet. Tiptoeing to the bathroom and looking back to check if he has woken up, I close the bathroom door and exhale, leaning against it, as I close my eyes.โWhat the fuck did I do?โI remember getting up and going to meet Zade downstairs. I donโt remember much after that, but I do remember in vivid detail what happened once I stepped back in the room later in the night.I wasnโt alone. Hands, kisses, touches, dark whispers, the pleasure โฆ. Yes. I remember eve
ZADEThe door slams on my face, and I am wide-eyed, looking at it, trying to figure out what is happening.I am only in my boxers, every other piece of clothing on my hands, and I drop them, sighing, before I sit on the floor, my back pressed against the door. I rub my face, shaking my head as I try to get a sense of everything.One minute I am sleeping so peacefully, the best sleep I have had in forever, and the next I am being pushed out of the door, and here I am.She doesnโt want to see me? I thought things changed after yesterday. It was heavenly. I can remember every single second vividly. Everything in me wants to barge in there and try to ask why she has chased me away.But then, just as I am about to do so, I feel it. The bond between us. It's open, clearer, and I feel so close to her. I can even talk to her now if I want to.โWhy did you just throw me out?โThere is no response, but I can feel her. She is ignoring me on purpose.A door opens down the hall, and a couple gets
ARIโI thought you were going to ignore me until you needed something.โI donโt bother hiding my sigh as I sit down. โHello, mother.โโWhy have you been avoiding me?โ She isn't trying to be all nice and sweet today. No, today she is frowning, and I wonder if she knows that she is.โI didnโt feel like talking to you.โโSince when have you not wanted to speak to me?โ she chuckles, sitting back. โYou are my clingy child, of course, you want to see me and talk to me every time.โMy jaw clenches. โSince you started keeping secrets from them, which impacted me.โโWhatever are you talking about?โ she takes a sip of tea in the porcelain cup.โYou know what I am talking about. I am sure by now, Mr. Parkers has told you what we are doing, what I am doing.โโYes, and I was hoping that it was all a lie, that perhaps you had forgotten yourself and you are here to apologize and get back to school,โ she puts the cup down, not looking at me.โWhy would I apologize?โ My heart is hammering in my chest.
ARIThe rail is cold in my hand as I ascend the dark stairs.It's raining again, the rain pelting on the window panes, the curtains fluttering as the cold flutters in. There is no one here, save for the one I am headed towards. Itโs a quiet house, it should creep me or even make me turn around.This isn't something I should do, not when I am not okay mentally. But it is because I am not okay that I am turning the door knob and pushing the door open, eyes finding the figure thatโs laying in the bed, the whole room dark, open windows once again letting in the cold wind.Not that he can feel it.He is looking at me, I can sense that he wants to ask something, so I push out the feeling that I don't want to talk about it. He said that he will make me forget. Does that still stand even tonight?I thought I had outgrown my naivety. Perhaps I had grown up and started knowing a little better. But it seems that I never learn.But I am so tired, so very tired and worn out. I have cried, and ther
ARIZade is letting me take what I need from him, this time letting me have my way on my terms.It has been that way from the very beginning, but tonight, it's like he wants me to take care of myself using him and, in a way, take care of himself too, by using him.So when I guide him and press him on my opening, we both freeze, breathing heavily before I urge him with a pull of his hips to push inside me.And heavens, it feels delicious. The stretch, the feeling of him opening me up as my walls accommodate him until he is fully seated inside me โฆI contract, squeezing him, feeling the girth inside me and I want to swallow more of him, suck him in and keep him there โฆ itโs a heady, good feeling.โWhy won't you love me?โ The hoarse whisper makes me open my eyes just as Zade looks at me. He is โฆcrying?โWhat?โ I ask, eyes wide.โWhy did you say you can't love me?โโBecause,โ I shift, and we both groan. His hips jerk in response, and he starts moving slowly. He has forgotten about the que
ARIWhen the body is exposed to extreme cold, at some point, it stops supplying the less important parts with blood in order to save the vital organs.It has been quite similar to me. I have spent most of my life just functioning, and apparently it has been necessary for my body to cut off supplies to some of the things anyone my age would deem normal to have.There hasnโt been a case where I could feel anything other than flight and flight. But eventually, here I am.My body is thawing, slowly coming to life, and it feels so good.Zadeโs tongue is slicking inside my mouth, seeking and touching every crevice inside. His body is pressed to mine to keep me up, one thigh pressed between my legs, one hand grabbing my butt, hips flushed.I am weak at my knees. I want him, I can feel him, and I am floating. I know I am kissing him, but I am also falling and falling, feeling safe that he will catch me.Itโs a dam that has been let loose.He is mine. I shouldnโt feel this way. I should feel g
ZADEโBut then it will be another, then anotherโฆ if you can be swayed so easily, then is it even worth it?โโI wasnโt swayed easily. You and I know that there is more to us than a bond between mates.โโHard to believe that when all that connects us is that.โโOur parents do connect us, too. Do you think we wouldnโt have crossed paths if we hadnโt been mates?โโWe could have, but you would be intent on killing me or destroying my life like you did at the beginning.โโThatโs true. But you can just chalk up my feelings and invalidate them, simplify them to one variable.โโItโs the only thing that is making sense. I mean, here I am, sitting in your love sanctuary, surrounded by your memories with her, and yet you are telling me it's me you want. What about her? Why was it so easy for you to just leave her?โโIf you hadn't shown up, I already knew it would rather be her that I pretended with, cosplayed my inner wishful thinking even though it wasnโt true.โI close my eyes briefly before lo
ZADEThere is something dark, alluring, and compelling about Ari Silvers that I have never been able to fully comprehend.Her beauty and magnetism are not the traditional kind. It's raw, demands that you see her, revere her, and ache to be close to her, so you can bathe in it.She is beautiful in the traditional sense as well, but then you look again. And again, and again. You are drawn in, wanting, needing, desiring, and even wanting to corrupt.She is pure, she is dark, she is innocent, but also twisted. She is all that you wish you could hold and covet to yourself, but you cannot. For it is not to be held by others and coveted, stolen, but to be looked at, worshiped, and if you are good, to be bathed in.But never yours.She is sitting on the rooftop.I followed the feeling of our bond, and I am surprised, a little unsure why she would be here. This is where she fell, almost to her death after all.Her knees are pressed against her chest as she looks at the far distance, lost in wh
ZADEI stop behind one balding man, I think he is here because he is a legacy. Not the official family but still as important. I can see the sweat trickling down his neck into the stiff, tight suit he is wearing.If I wasnโt so sure before, now standing behind him as he reeks of fear โฆ it's solid. My hand goes through his back, and I touch the organ thatโs beating and warm in my palm.Gasps echo around, but no one says a word, as they look at me with horrified expressions, save for my father, of course.โThis man,โ I turn to Jude, โyou missed this man.โ My fingers close around the beating organ and pull my hand back. The body shakes, twitching before his head thumps on the table like a log. The scent of blood permeates the air, thickening it with the tension and fear pulsing in the room.I walk over to Jude and let the organ fall on his file, and he looks at it, eyes wide. I am sure he isn't breathing. After all, I just killed a legacy, and he has a lot of mess to clean up.And also,
ZADEWe are back to ignoring each other.Or to be more precise, Ari has gone back to hating my guts and ignoring my existence. And when she sees me, when our eyes meet, those first two seconds, time seems to slow down, and it's only us. The world fades away, and it's us, and I usually get this feeling in my chest, this heavy thing that is threatening to drown me, but in a sweet way.It's only us, as if we know something, just the two of us, and then the moment is snapped and broken, and she is back to scowling at me, rolling her eyes.But I know, those few seconds, where it is only us, when time stops and we only see each other, feel each otherโฆ that is the truth of us.She told me she wanted devotion and then proceeded to lock herself in the bedroom before she left early in the morning, even though we did spend the night together.I didnโt sleep, not when she was in the next room and I knew she wasnโt asleep either. I listened to her breathing, every turn and twist in the bed.I list
ARIโWhat's going on inside this little mind?โ his voice is so close to me, nose brushing my temple.I should feel something. A tingle, but I am so damn tired. All I want is to sleep, forget that I exist for a few hours before I start going back to my life. I can't escape it anymore, now can I?โNothing,โ I sigh. โI am just a little sleepy.โIs he expecting more from me tonight?I wish I had the girls with me. They would allow me to be in your space. Maybe I should call them, text them, but I don't have my phone. I remember crashing it in the hotel suite before I walked out into the traffic.Maybe I am not as okay as I think. But getting a grip is important.If I am going to avenge and face the people who ruined me to begin with, I can't let go of the reality. I need to be focused and work hard to make sure they donโt destroy me before I destroy them.I know I am not going to come out of it. The plans I made to go study law as further studies, get out of the pack and live my life as a
ARIMy life is a mess.Itโs a fucked life, painful, dry, bland, void of colour.I am ugly too, rotting slowly inside, underserving of anything good because thatโs just what is set in stone for me.Despite it all, despite feeling all of that, as Zade looks at me like I mean something, like I matter โฆ I can't help but want to be under that gaze for a longer time.He is looking at me how he used to look at Olivia, like he might love me, like I mean something. He wants to know if I am okay, taking care of me, a gentle, caring touch on my cold, withering soul.I donโt deserve it, and yet.I yearn for it. Crave it. I can't not shudder under it.โDo you want me to ask you?โYes. I want him to ask me. I want him to push for me to tell him what's going on in my head. For him to fight for me. I am selfish like that. Mother didnโt say anything untrue, because here I am, asking and taking what doesnโt belong to me.I came into this life, took Oliviaโs man under fateโs guidance, and yes. It hurt.
ARII donโt think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it โฆ sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.โAre you okay?โ he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.โYeah,โ I wheeze out. โGuess I am a little surprised.โโWhy?โ he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.โThe first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.โ Thatโs not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasnโt the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didnโt come fr