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10. WARNING GIVEN
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THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 11. BREAK DOWN
We did not sleep that night. Alpha Logan did not sleep that night. He paced from each corner of his room. He slapped and brushed through his head over and over. He groaned until I thought his throat would tear then when he needed more, he began banging his head on the wall. He hit it over and over as I watched with a drumming heart. At a point it did not do it for him so he punched the walls, slowly at first then he got more and more aggressive. He stopped and took a deep breath before he began pacing again. His body lowered to the bed when he had paced so much his feet began crossing each other. His head sat on his hands, the silence as haunting as him pacing. I sat on the floor, just staring with blurry eyes. All he was feeling was pouring over to me because I found myself also rocking back and forth on the floor. My head pounded and every part of me ached. The pain surged up, pain I had been burying. Things that I had tucked away just erupted back with no warning. My eyes close
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 12. PEACE FINALLY
The sound. That constant sound that came with each wood he chopped into half. It was therapy I did not know I needed. The cool wind, I was thankful for it because I felt it took away some of the bad odour I carried. My skin was itching. I knew it was mostly in my head but I saw the torture of not being allowed to shower. I felt so dirty and disgusting. I did not even want to know what I looked like, just dirt stuck on my skin and I accepted the disgust. I sat on my shins, my eyes trailed on Alpha Logan as he chopped the wood he had hauled out from the shed behind the pack house. There was so much wood and I wanted to see how far he would go. He seemed a bit relaxed. After the massacre he had done in the early hours of the morning, he took a shower, cleaned his room then we left the house to where we were at that point. The wind blew my hair. It felt greasy and claggy. I stared down, using a thin twig to clean my nails, the only thing I could clean. Footstep approached, pulling my
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 13. MEMORIES THAT SCAR
Somehow, I had found freedom. Alpha Logan walked into the room he had trashed the day before. I would say it was a living room before he happened to it. Nothing had been spared, broken pieces of what once was. He moved around the room, picking up the pieces. He would stare at different broken items for a while before putting them away. I stayed by the door, bending to pick up a few pieces. When he was further from the garbage bag, I ran to put all the pieces I had collected then went back to collect more. It took hours on hours. Nothing was salvageable. Not even the large couch which he couldn’t take his eyes off. He ran his hand over it and did not dare move it as torn as it was. He left and came back with a broom and a mop. He left to collect water and when he came back I was already halfway sweeping. I made sure I left nothing behind. It was my first time sweeping and it made me feel normal. For those minutes I played the normal girl who did normal chores with a normal family.
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 14. SEE THROUGH
If I ever chose a day to wallow in my sorrows it would be that day. If I ever chose a way for my demons to drown me, it would be in that way. My eyes were sore even before I opened them. My heart seemed to be pounding from them, not wanting to open so I did not. I had never been so warm in my life. No blanket could ever compare. I felt safe in a way I could not describe. I had found shelter and I did not want to step out. Alpha Logan’s heart pound right on my face. It was normal for pure werewolves but for me, as a hybrid, it was fast. I listened to it’s drum and whizzed away in a serenade. I was engulfed in him. His arms held so tightly I never wanted anything else. I held tighter to him and fought the tears from spilling because I had never experienced anything like it. I hadn’t realized how scared and how torn I was until lying there in his arms. His warm breath fell on my hair. His scent healed as I breathed it in. It was all maddening. His breath changed and his heart sped u
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 15. LOGAN
That night we did not sleep in the same bed but somehow, we were connected. I sat on the floor, a gold chain binding my hands together. My knees were up, head on them in the silence of the night. It had been an hour since Logan slipped in bed. I could not tell if he was asleep or awake. My head turned, staring at the bundle of sheets on the bed with the realization falling on me. I had slightly gained more night vision which meant I was healing. I wondered how long it would take to get my wolf back or if I would be able to get her back at all. The thought left me aching deep in a way I could not describe. “Fall alisialize.” The chains fell away. I twisted my wrists around then placed my hand on the bed, my head on my knees, staring at my outstretched arm. I closed my eyes and drifted into nothingness. My eyes pulled open as my hand was pulled up with large warm fingers lacing through mine. The warmth spread from that hand down my arm to my toes. I wanted to smile but found myself
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 16. TEETH AND BLOOD
Rays peaked in from every little space available in the thick dark forest. It was just rare shots of orange here and there. I was seated up, such fascination before me. We passed through one of the larger beams from the sun and that little dose of its heat was amazing. I turned to stare back at it only for us to jump into a clearing. My head turned forward, a gasp pulling from me. I could not help but impatiently tap on Logan’s wolf over and over again. He shook his head but I continued tapping. “Logan, look. The sun.” I pointed as if he could see me. The excitement had me sound like a child. I had never seen the sun so beautiful. It was about to sink over the large white mountains. The sky was colored all thick shades of orange and it was breathtaking. Logan stopped and turned, staring at the amazing sight. I sighed, content. He sat and just watched with my smile finally breaking through. Instead of looking ahead I found myself staring at him. My hand went to the top of his head
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 17. BRIDGES
The bond travelled up to my head then down to my very toes. His DNA tied with mine and I could feel each and every strand as it sewed itself into mine. He would forever be with me, connected no matter what. I stumbled more into him, the tears falling. It was not supposed to happen. The dread intensified and I wept. “No.” The word kept playing out of my lips over and over. My hands squeezed tighter onto his arm, my nails digging in. His body trembled even harder than mine and the word I kept saying became his own mantra. His arm fell away and he stumbled from me. I nearly fell, turning with my hand on my heart before it stopped beating. His own eyes were wide, covered in glass tears. His hand fell on his bloody mouth, staring at me as he said no over and over. He kept stepping back in shock until his back hit the wall. “No.” He word fell out, his head shaking to enforce it. My stomach turned and I wanted to vomit. “What have I done?” “Logan!” A roar erupted from behind me. I c
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 18. WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
Logan I dreamt of the moment a million times but it did not feel the same. I held her tighter as my body shook with my mind in absolute chaos. What did I do? The question kept coming over and over again. I was used to the chaos, to the anger but this….I could not bear the feelings that coursed through my body. “I am sorry.” The words escaped my lips, digging Flavia into me with my arms as she held me just as tight. “It’s okay Logan.” She assured and panicked even harder without even knowing what I was apologizing for. Had she seen the mark? Had she smelt me on Adira? My stomach was in coils, hating myself deeper than before. “I am sorry. It doesn’t mean anything. I made a mistake.” One after another the words trickled out until Flavia placed her hands on my chest and pushed back. I wanted to hold her much longer but she pushed harder. Her strength shocked me. I stepped back, my head hanging in absolute shame. I had betrayed her. “What happened Logan?” The word came out sha
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