Blood and Shadows

The agonies came that night.

 I stood in a burning forest, silver flames consuming everything. Wolves ran screaming,

 their fur kindling like igniting. The air tasted of ash and death. And in the center of it all, I laughed.

" Kaia."

 My mama's voice, cutting through the rough chaos. I turned to

Find her standing in the debris, untouched, beautiful despite the destruction around us.

" Mama?" You must remember he said urgently." Before it's too late. Before he makes you forget."

" Remember what?"

 She reached for me, her hand passing through the fire." Who are you really? What they took from you. The truth about —"

 The dears roared in advance, swallowing her total.

 I screamed.

 And woke to find Maya shaking my shoulders, her face tight with concern.

" You were screaming," she said softly." The whole corridor heard you."

 I sat up, heaving. Sweat soaked through my tunic. The collar burned against my throat, hot enough to leave marks.

" Just a dream," I managed.

" A dream. Or a memory?" Maya's eyes were knowing." The Shadowborn were said to dream true occasionally. History, present, unborn —  each bleeding together."

" My mama is dead. That wasn't real."

"Maybe." She handed me water." Or maybe she's trying to reach you. The robe is thin for your kind. Death isn't always the end."

 Before I could respond, someone pounded on the door.

" Training. Now." Garrett's voice, rough with urgency." We have a situation."

 Maya and I changed genders.

 I dressed snappily and followed Garrett through the fort. But rather than heading to the yard, he led me down, deeper into the mountain than I had been ahead.

" What situation?" I demanded.

" rogues." His jaw was tight." They hit one of our border details an hour ago

. Three dead, five wounded. And they left a message."

 We entered a large chamber that served as a war room. Charts covered the walls. Draven stood at the center table, Lyra beside him, both studying something I couldn't see.

 They looked up as we entered.

" Show her," Draven said.

 Lyra stepped away.

 On the table lay a piece of torn fabric, stained with blood. And written across it in further blood, still fresh.

 We want the Shadowborn. Give her to us, or your pack becks.

            .

 Ice filled my veins." Who sent this?"

" We don't know yet." Draven's voice was controlled, but I heard the fury beneath." The rogues who delivered it are dead. They fought to the last rather than be taken alive."

"Rogues don't organize like this," Garrett said." Someone is controlling them. Someone who wants you desperately enough to risk open war with Blood Moon."

"Theron," I said incontinently.

" Conceivably." Draven's silver eyes met mine." Or someone worse. The Council has been silent since Theron's complaint. That silence is concerning."

 Lyra crossed her arms. However, they could be funding mischief attacks," If the Council has decided the Shadowborn is too dangerous to let live. Testing our defenses. Seeing how far we will go to cover her."

"Also, we show them." Draven's voice was a sword." We make an example of the coming group that dares to touch what's mine."

 That word again. Mine.

 The mate bond palpitated through the collar, responding to his jealous tone.

" I can help," I said." My power, if you removed the collar, I could"

" No." Draven cut me off." You aren't ready. One day of training doesn't make you a warrior. It makes you dangerous to yourself and everyone around you."

" So I just hide while others die protecting me?"

" You survive." He moved around the table, stopping inches from me." That's your job right now. Survive. Learn. Grow stronger. And when you're ready, when you can control your power without the collar, you also fight."

" How many have to die before I'm ready?"

 The question hung in the air like a charge of blame.

 Draven's expression hardened." As many as it takes."

 He turned to Garrett." Double the security. I want scouts in every sector. And increase training rotations. Everyone needs to be prepared for a coordinated assault."

" What about her training?" Garrett asked, waving to me.

" Continue as planned. But keep it within the fort walls. No out-of-door sessions until we know who's behind this."

" That isn't fair," I protested." You cannot cage me because someone else is hanging."

" I can and I will." Draven's nascence dominance slammed into me, forcing submission." You'll observe, Kaia. Or I'll lock you in that room and post guards at the door. Choose."

 The collar burned, burning in response to both his command and my swell of wrath.

 I wanted to fight. To scream. To unleash the power growing inside me and show him I wasn't weak.

 But Maya's hand on my arm stopped me.

" Choose your battles," she murmured." This bone

 You cannot win."

 I swallowed my rage and lowered my eyes." Yes, Alpha."

 The formal submission easily surprised him. His eyes narrowed, searching my face for deception.

 But I gave him nothing.

 Still, I would show him obedience if he wanted it.

 And I would learn everything I could while he allowed

 He'd controlled me.

" Dismissed," Draven said.

 Garrett led me out.

As we walked back through the corridors, he spoke still." That was smart. Knowing when to bend instead of break."

" I'm not bending. I'm planning."

 He chortled, a rough sound." Good. You're learning. Now let us see if you can conduct that anger into something useful."

 Training was brutal.

 Garrett pushed me harder than ever, as if he could forge me into a weapon through sheer force of will. By noon, I could barely stand. My hands were blistered from the brand grip. Blood dropped from a dozen minor cuts where I had failed to block the attack enough.

" Again," Garrett barked.

 I raised the brand, my arms shaking.

 He attacked.

 I managed three blocks before he disarmed me, the brand spinning down across the yard.

" Dead," he said flatly." Again."

 I  took the brand. Attacked.

 He sidestepped, his leg sweeping mine.

 I hit the ground hard enough to see stars.

" What are you fighting for?" he demanded, standing over me." What drives you when your body wants to quit?"

 I thought of the message written in blood.

 Give her to us, or your pack pays.

 " I'm fighting to not be helpless," I heaved." To not be the reason people die."

" Not good enough." He hauled me up by my collar." You need to want it more than air. More than life itself. What do you want, Kaia? Really want?"

 The answer came unsought, raw and authentic.

" I want them to be afraid of me."

 Garrett smiled. It wasn't a kind expression.

" There it is. Hold onto that." He released me, stepping back." Now show me."

 I attacked with everything I had left.

 He blocked, sidestepped, and moved like water around my strikes.

 But this time, I didn't give up. Didn't let prostration slow me down. I poured every ounce of rage, every memory of pain, every moment of incompetence into the brand.

 And something shifted.

 The power stirred beneath the collar, responding to my despair. Not a swell, but a teardrop just enough to enhance my speed, my strength.

 My coming strike connected.

 Garrett's eyes widened as the blade grazed his shoulder, drawing blood.

 We both froze.

"Did you just?" he started.

" I didn't mean to —"

 He laughed. Loud and genuine.

" You meant to. You just didn't know you could." He touched the cut, studying the blood on his fingers." You pulled power through the collar. Just a thread, but enough to make a difference."

" I allowed that it was insolvable."

" Most effects are. Until someone does them anyway." He clapped my shoulder hard enough to make me stumble." Good. We'll make up for that. Same time hereafter."

 He walked down, leaving me standing in the yard, gaping at my shaking hands.

 I had accessed my power. While wearing the collar.

 Which meant I wasn't as controlled as Draven believed.

 The study should have frightened me.

 Instead, it made me smile.

 I met up with Sebastian in the library that evening, exactly where I knew he'd be.

" You're predictable," I said, settling into the chair across from him.

" Or you're learning to see patterns." He didn't look up from his book." What do you want, Kaia?"

" Answers. About my mama. About what really happened to the Shadowborn."

 Now he looked up." Dangerous questions."

" I'm tired of being kept in the dark. Everyone then knows further about my history than I do. Indeed, Draven —" I stopped, swallowing frustration." I want the truth."

 Sebastian closed his book." The truth is complicated. And painful. Are you sure you're ready?"

" I'll never be ready. Tell me anyway."

 He sighed." Your mama's name was Elena Shadowborn. She was the strongest of her generation, born with capacities that manifested before she could walk. The pack elders feared what she was incontinently and tried to kill her."

 My chest tensed." But she survived."

" Your grandmother offered herself to buy Elena time to escape. She fled to Silver Moon home, suppressed her powers, and lived as a normal wolf for fifteen years. Until she met Theron."

" And he discovered what she was."

" Not at first. He was youthful also, not yet Alpha. They were. Happy, for a time. She was happy

 that she could have a normal life. Also, she became pregnant with you."

" And her power started returning."

 Sebastian paused." Pregnancy awakens dormant Shadowborn capacities. The magic recognizes new life and tries to cover it. Elena's power came back stronger than ever. Theron saw it and realized what she was."

" He should have defended her. If he wanted."

" He was afraid." Sebastian's violet eyes were sad." Fear makes people do terrible things. He promised to keep her secret if she'd help him weaponized Shadowborn magic. She refused. So he told the pack elders what she was."

" And they killed her."

" They tried. But Elena was important. She fought back, killed three elders before Theron himself struck the killing blow." His voice dropped to a whisper." He made you watch. You were twelve years old, and he forced you to witness your mama's prosecution. Also, he used pack magic to suppress your memories of it. Made you believe she had been killed for disloyalty, not murder."

 The room spun.

 I remembered back that day. Remembered kneeling in the pack court, crying. But the details were blurred, as if seen through shadow water.

"He made me forget," I murmured.

" He made you forget who you are. What you witnessed. The promise your mama made you swear as she failed."

" What promise?"

 Sebastian leaned forward." That you would survive. That you would grow strong. And that one day, you would make them all pay for what they did to her. To you. To every Shadowborn who came before."

 The words reverberated in my bones, familiar despite the fog of suppressed memory.

" I need to remember," I said urgently." All of it. Can you help me?"

" I can show you the truth. But what was formerly seen cannot be unseen. The memories will return in full, and with them, all the pain you were spared."

" I don't care about pain. I care about the truth."

 He studied me for a long moment, also moved. Very well. But not here. And not tonight. This requires meditation. Meet me in the eastern palace hereafter at night. And tell no one, especially not Draven."

" Why not?"

" Because if he learns what I'm about to show you, he'll try to stop it. And I'm not certain, if I could stand against an Alpha guarding what he considers his."

 The mate bond palpitated at the citation of Draven.

" He doesn't command me," I said.

" No. But he believes he does. There's a difference." Sebastian stood." After midnight. Come alone."

 He left me with questions burning in my mind and a growing certainty that everything I remembered, I knew it was a lie. 

That night, Draven came to my room.  I was sitting by the window, gaping at the stars, when the door opened without warning. 

 He filled the doorway, still in training leathers, his hair damp from a recent shower. His silver eyes set me incontinent, and I felt the mate bond flare to life. 

" You should be sleeping," he said.

" So should you."

 He crossed to me, moving with that predatory grace that never failed to make my heart race. He stopped behind my chair, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. 

" I heard about training today," he muttered." Garrett said you pulled power through the collar."

" Is that not what you wanted? For me to learn control?"

" Control, yes. Defiance, no." His grip tensed." You're testing the boundaries of what the collar can suppress. That's dangerous."

" Everything about me is dangerous. You have made that very well."

 He spun my chair around, forcing me to face him. His hands held me in, gripping the armrests on either side.

" Don't twist my words. I'm trying to keep you alive."

" You're trying to keep me controlled. There's a difference."

" Not to me." He leaned closer, his breath warm against my lips." You're mine, Kaia. My responsibility. My burden. My —"

" Mate," I finished." Say it. Admit what we both know."

 His jaw tensed." That bond doesn't change anything."

" It changes everything." I reached up, my hand cupping his scarred face." You feel it. Every time you touch me. Every time you look at me. It's tearing you apart, being caught between duty and desire."

" I can control it."

" Can you?"

 I pulled him down and kissed him.

 He held back for half a heartbeat before he surrendered, kissing me back with a despair that stole my breath. His hands moved from the armrests to my waist, pulling me up against him.

 The collar burned where our bodies touched, magic recognizing magic, mate recognizing mate.

 When we eventually broke apart, both breathing hard, Draven pressed his forehead against mine.

"This is a mistake," he said.

"Maybe."

" I should leave."

" You should."

 Neither of us moved.

 He kissed me again, slowly this time. Deeper. Like he was learning the taste of me.

 Also, with visible trouble, he pulled down.

" Sleep, little Shadowborn," he said roughly." Hereafter, the real training begins."

 He left before I could ask what he meant. 

 I touched my lips, feeling them blown and tender. 

 The mate bond palpitated more strongly than ever, a living thing between us.

 And night hereafter suddenly felt veritably far down.