THE TASTE OF SIN

“From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for coming tonight to share this delicious dinner in honor of Christie and Jonathan. We know that from tomorrow their happiness will increase, to the bride and groom!” Says my father rising his champagne glass and toasting for my happiness “For the bride and groom” they all reply.

After a brief farewell, I go up to my suite. The Four Seasons Hotel in Miami, my hometown, was the venue chosen for the wedding. I always wanted to get married at the beach, luckily Jonathan didn't have a problem with that. After finishing my night routine, I have one last glance at my beautiful wedding dress, I can't wait to wear it tomorrow and walk on the sand by my father's arm to the altar where the love of my life will be waiting for me. Finally, I fall asleep.

I wake up confused, I hear a banging even though I don't know where it comes from. I look at the time on my cell phone and realize it has only been two hours since I went to bed. The sound is heard one more time, and it is when I realize someone is knocking on the door.

“Christie, Open the door it’s me, Jonathan” I can hear a hint of anguish in his voice, immediately I get out of bed thinking something really bad has happened, he enters the room and begins to walk like a caged lion, without saying a word.

“Please stop! You're making me dizzy!”

“I'm sorry, Christie, I can't. I can't do it.” What? What is he talking about?

“You can't do what?” I ask in a low voice, afraid of the following words coming out of his mouth.

“I can't. I can't marry you tomorrow”

“What?” I feel as if the strength is leaving my body, carefully I hold on to the nearest object.

“I've been thinking about it a lot and I can't, I can't do this, I can't marry you tomorrow. I can't do this to you. I have realized I don't love you enough, you need to tell your father the wedding is canceled.” my vision is immediately blurred because of the unshed tears, no matter how hard I try to hold them, they begin to flow.

“Who is she?” I ask in a whisper.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you dare to fool me, who is she? Because if the night before our wedding you come to tell me all this bullshit it is because there is someone else.”

“There is no one else, I swear. I just… don't love you enough to marry you.”

“Why? Tell me why, Jonathan?” I don't know how, but the strength returns to me, and anger takes over my body “Why did you ask me to marry you if you didn't love me? Why did you let things get to this point if you weren't sure about your feelings for me?”

“I... I don't know... I thought eventually.”

“Eventually?” I interrupt him not caring what his pathetic excuses are, I'm completely hysterical. I take two long strides until I'm in front of him “you could have done this months ago, you could have saved me all this shame and suffering. It was you who asked me to be your girlfriend, you asked me to marry you, it was your damn idea, now you're telling me you don't love me enough? Do you think I'm an idiot? Besides, you come to ask me to be the one to tell my father that you have decided to cancel the wedding. Fuck you, Jonathan!

“Chris…”

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear any more of your pathetic excuses and stupid lies. You better get out of here because that ice pick over there looks very tempting. Right now, I wouldn't mind going to jail for murder.”

“Chris…”

“Get out!

“You can keep the ring”

GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT!” I start to push him towards the door, he doesn't put up much of a fight. Finally, I manage to get him out of the room. When I close the door, I slide down to the floor and curl up in a ball while crying for my misfortune. How ironic! A few hours ago, I was toasting for my happiness but it never came. I continue crying until my eyes sting and the tears no longer come out.

I look at the corner where my beautiful dress is on the mannequin, I get up out of the blue and take the ice pick in my hand, not caring about anything but the pain inside me that I need to drain one way or another.  I start tearing the fabrics and lace that make up the garment, then with my own hands, I continue to do the work until there are no more than scraps left on the floor.

“I'm sorry, but I couldn't bear another humiliation.”  I quickly change my pajamas for a comfortable outfit, take my suitcase put some clothes in it, check that all my documentation is inside my purse, and before leaving, I take a sheet of paper to leave a note for my mother.

Mom,

Jonathan told me last night that he will not marry me. I don't know if he'll still be at the hotel when you read this note.

The fucking coward asked me to be the one to tell you that there would be no wedding.

I'm going away, I'm not able to face everyone and suffer another humiliation.

I’m sorry.

Christie.

While writing some tears fell on the paper, I left the note on the night table along with the engagement ring and the jewelry I was going to wear. I leave the room, and I make sure to take the emergency stairs so I don't risk running into any family members or guests. When I get to the lobby, I request a cab and the friendly receptionist calls it, five minutes later I am on my way to the airport.

Once I had arrived, I asked heaven for a sign about the next step I should take, right then, I heard it.

“Passengers bound for New York City please board at gate 11”

That was what I needed!

“That's where I'll go to restart my life,” I say, heading for the nearest airline stand.