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2025-08-04 19:21:05
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THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 061
JESSICALiam straightened the moment he saw me step closer, his posture stiff but hopeful. His expression gave nothing away—just that blank, unreadable face he wore whenever he was trying not to break first.Then, without a word, he moved. One step. Two. And suddenly, I was wrapped in his arms.Tight. Familiar. Almost cruel.I didn’t hug him back. I couldn’t. I stood there, rigid, arms hanging limp at my sides while silence screamed in my ears.I should scream. I should slap him. I should tell him not to touch me. But all I could do was stand there, caged in warmth I no longer trusted.His breath brushed the top of my head, and then came the softest kiss to my forehead. Gentle. A ghost of old routines.He pulled back, not saying anything, just opened the car door like muscle memory. I got in because my legs were shaking, and I hated that he noticed. I hated that he still knew me well enough to wait until I was settled before closing the door softly behind me.The car was cool, the hum
THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 060
JESSICAI sat by the hotel window, knees pulled tightly to my chest, my phone still glowing in my hand like it held a secret I couldn’t take back.I had just sent him the address.Liam.And the second my thumb hit “send,” my stomach dropped. Instant regret. Then denial. Then regret again. It was a vicious cycle—back and forth like a seesaw I couldn’t get off.My mind spun in every direction. Loud. Messy. Unforgiving.He deserves to know. Even if he walks away. He has to know.But what if he doesn’t want to?What if he thinks I’m trying to trap him?God. I didn’t even plan it. I swear I didn’t.I dropped my forehead to my knees and exhaled shakily, curling tighter into myself. The hotel room felt like it was shrinking. Too quiet. Too clean. The kind of silence that screams. The kind that wraps around your neck and whispers all the things you’re trying not to hear.I imagined his face reading the message. Would his jaw tighten? Would he roll his eyes? Would he toss his phone across the
THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 059
LIAMI walked into the office like a man who hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. Like a man who didn’t even know what day it was, or how he’d gotten here.My shirt was wrinkled like I’d wrestled with my nightmares in it. My tie was hanging on for dear life, half-knotted and sad. And my shoes—I didn’t even remember putting them on. For all I knew, I’d walked in here barefoot and someone handed them to me at the door.Everything just felt... loud. The lights overhead were too white. Too sharp. The hum of the air conditioner grated against the inside of my skull. Even the click of my own damn footsteps sounded like gunshots on the floor.I was barely two steps in when Maria looked up from her desk and blinked. Hard.“Boss?” she said, like she wasn’t sure it was me. “You’re not looking good at all.”I paused and offered her a smile that felt more like a grimace. “Hi. How are you today?”She tilted her head, concern blooming in her expression. “I’m fine,” she said slowly, “but you… you look like
THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 058
JESSICA“Liam?”I barely whispered his name. My voice cracked around it, like my throat wasn’t ready to say it out loud. My body leaned against the door, my forehead pressed against the wood. I hadn’t moved in minutes. My heart was doing this dumb pounding thing it always did when I thought maybe—just maybe—he was coming back.But then the voice that came from the other side didn’t belong to Liam.“Girl, open the fucking door. This is not Liam.”Ava.Of course it was Ava.Relief and disappointment swirled in my chest, fighting like siblings who didn’t know how to share. I unlatched the door and stepped aside, saying nothing. Ava didn’t wait for permission. She walked in like she paid rent—dropped her bag by the shoe rack, kicked off her heels, and turned to face me like I was a suspect in a police lineup.Her eyes scanned me. Not in a casual way. In a what-the-hell-have-you-done-to-yourself way.She looked me up and down, raised a brow, then said, “You won’t even pretend you’re happy
THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 057
LIAMI didn’t move.Not at first.Just sat there on the ground like my body forgot how to function. The cold from the floor seeped through my jeans, but I barely felt it. My chest was tight—like something was lodged between my ribs and couldn’t come out, no matter how hard I breathed.I’d watched her get into his car. I’d watched the way she didn’t look back. And I just sat there, like an idiot, blinking at the empty space she left behind.Jessica was gone.And this time… she really meant it.“Fuck,” I whispered, dragging my hands down my face. “What the fuck just happened?”My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out instinctively—hoping, praying it was her.It wasn’t.I stared at the screen, my heart thudding like it was trying to escape my chest. I didn’t know who to call. No one felt right.But my thumb moved on its own.Jessica’s mom.God, I hadn’t even thought about what time it was. My hand shook as I held the phone to my ear.She picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”“Hi, m
THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU 056
JESSICAI sat beside Lucas in the car, my cheek pressed against the window, the glass cold against my skin. The city outside was a blur—streaks of gold and red light sliding past like a dream I couldn’t wake up from. I wasn’t crying loudly. I wasn’t sobbing or gasping for air. I was just leaking. Quietly. Like my body had finally decided that tears didn’t need my permission anymore.Lucas didn’t say anything at first. Just drove. His hand was firm on the wheel, his knuckles pale, his eyes locked on the road—but I could feel him glancing at me every few seconds. That careful kind of glance, like he was afraid looking too long would make me break. Or maybe make him say the wrong thing.After a few minutes, he finally spoke—soft, slow, like he didn’t want to spook me.“Are you okay?”My lips parted, but I didn’t look at him. I didn’t even blink. I just whispered, “Just keep driving.”That was all I had in me. I didn’t know where I wanted to go, I just knew I didn’t want to stop. Stil
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