THE WEIGHT OF LOVING YOU のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 1 - チャプター 10

JESSICA“Liam?” I whispered, even though the silence between us was already loud enough to choke on.He didn’t look at me. He clutched his phone like he needed it to anchor him to the earth. The screen was black. Probably dead. Like whatever was left inside him.“I can’t breathe, Jess,” he murmured, voice thick and low. “I can’t… fucking breathe.”And just like that, my heart cracked.I reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and held it up to him.“Here,” I said softly. “Just sip, okay?”He took it without looking at me, hands trembling, and I watched him drink like his throat was on fire.I reached for his face next, gently wiping the sweat off his brow with the sleeve of my hoodie.He didn’t flinch. That was something. He just closed his eyes like he needed the break from the world, like maybe my touch could shut it all out for a second.And maybe that’s why I stayed still.He was broken.But God, I’d always wanted to be the one who helped him put himself back together.

LIAMI shot up in bed, heart pounding like a war drum. Sweat clung to my skin, breath shallow and fast. For a second, I didn’t know where the hell I was.Then I saw her.Jessica.Lying beside me, tangled in sheets that barely covered her naked body.My stomach twisted. What the actual hell did I do?Memories slammed into me, her moans and the way she clung to me and begged me not to stop. That smile she gave afterward, like I’d handed her the whole world.I could still feel her fingernails dragging down my back. My skin burned with the memory.God.I ran a hand over my face, trying to scrub the regret off. Panic crawled up my spine, fast and relentless. I moved without thinking… pants, shirt, shoes, wallet.Every sound felt too loud in the stillness of my room. My heartbeat. The rustle of clothes. The click of my belt.I didn’t let myself look at her again.Not until I reached the door.She was still asleep. Peaceful. Unbothered. Trusting in a way that made my chest ache.Beautiful.I

LIAMI got there too early.Too damn early.The waiter came by twice to refill a glass of water I hadn't even touched. Just kept standing there with this polite smile, like he could tell I was spiraling.My hands wouldn’t stay still. Kept dragging down my face, rubbing the back of my neck, tapping on the table like that’d stop the clock from ticking so loudly in my chest.Twenty-seven minutes. That’s how long I’d been sitting there. Watching every couple laugh like the world wasn’t ending. Like it wasn’t possible to completely screw something up in a single night.And then she walked in.Jessica.Shit.She was still wearing the same makeup from yesterday. Not smudged. Not perfect either. Just… there. And beautiful in that quiet, cruel way, the kind of beautiful that didn’t care if I noticed.But God, I did now. Every inch. Every flick of her eyes when they landed on me and didn’t soften.She didn’t dress up. Didn’t smile. Her hair was tied back like an afterthought, and still, she look

LIAMI stood in front of Jessica’s apartment like a complete idiot.My hand was buried deep in my pocket, fingers clenched so tightly around the velvet ring box that I was sure the damn thing would shatter. I didn’t knock. Didn’t press the bell.I just stood there, frozen, like a lost boy who’d taken a wrong turn somewhere between guilt and hope… and now had no idea how to get back.What the hell was I even doing here?I started pacing. Back and forth like some restless ghost. I took a step toward the stairs, ready to bolt—then stopped. Then turned back. Then froze again.My grip on the box tightened until my palm ached. I knew it—I knew—if I didn’t give her this ring now, I’d never do it. I’d shove it in the back of some drawer, lie to myself again, and keep walking around with this crushing weight in my chest.Regret was already building a house in my bones.Just as I raised my hand, just as my knuckles grazed the wood…the door opened.Jessica.She looked like she’d just rolled out

LIAMI pulled into the driveway just past eight. The dashboard lights threw a soft blue glow across the interior, catching on the bags of Thai takeout sitting beside me like peace offerings. Or maybe guilt offerings. Probably both.I don’t know why I thought bringing her favorite food would make a difference. Like pad Thai and spring rolls could patch the mess I’d made with silence and too many unspoken things.She used to light up at the mention of Thai.Back when we stayed up talking on her front steps until the sky hinted at sunrise. Before I made everything complicated.I sat there for a while, fingers clamped tight around the steering wheel, like if I let go, everything inside me would fall apart.The engine hummed under me. The neighborhood was quiet. I could see our porch light from here…still off. That did something sharp to my chest.I didn’t want to walk into that quiet house. But I also didn’t want to sit out here like some lovesick loser waiting on a sign from the stars. S