Chapter 1

Kaelen's POV

My chest tightened, my breath grew louder, raspy and forced, but my legs kept going. Sweat dripped down my face, blocking my sight. I swiped it off with the back of my palm without stopping.

I knew what was coming. I could sense it. My hairs stood. My heart raced. My blood pumping. My ears picked up the arrow approaching, and I ducked beside a tree. With just an inch, the arrow flew past me.

That should be the end of it. I should rest. I've been at it since the break of dawn. At hour two, my body told me it couldn't take it any more but here I was. Unable to breath but still pushing.

I could barely feel my wolf. One of my many embarassment and my most recent... Merrick.

Tears pricked the side of my eyes, threatening to fall. I couldn't stop thinking about what he said last time. I couldn't stop hating myself. I couldn't sleep without thinking how much of a failure I was.

I was a feared general, or at least I used to be. Now, I was nothing but a she-wolf who couldn't keep her babies safe. And I was losing touch with my mate. “You can't lose another child, Kaelen,” his words echoed in my ear.

I sprinted faster. It was a threat. A threat that reminded me how fragile my little title of Luna of Bloodhound pack was. And yet, it wasn't enough to keep me from failing!

Another arrow came, slamming into a bark of a tree. I bent over, hands on my knees to catch my breath. My body scolding me for the torture.

“Luna,” George called, running over. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned. “I think we should head back. Your body can't take more.”

I raised my head, trying to speak, but my breath hung in my throat. George was my trusted guard. Every day, he seemed closer to me than Merrick.

Merrick was gone most of the time. I couldn't see him neither could I talk to him. And I've tried to understand. I really have but for months it's slowly shifted from hurt to... something else. Something I didn't want to admit.

“I can…” my voice died down before I could finish my sentence.

“No more, Luna. Pushing your body would not bring him back.” He quickly dropped his head. “I spoke out of turn. I apologize, Luna.”

I waved my hand, standing upright. “It's okay.”

He was right, anyway. My child would not return, no matter how much I pushed my body.

“We'll call it a day,” I said, heading back to the pack house. George nodded, trailing behind me.

Arriving at the pack house, I paused at the entrance, watching the decorations going on. The ribbons, every design were precise and intricate. The servants have worked tirelessly for more than a week. 

Merrick has put a lot of effort into the marking ceremony. As much as I loved he was doing this to make me feel better, I would rather have him present.

“Did you hear?” the maids whispered among themselves. “What?”

I was ready to ignore them like I usually did until the next words came. “Corvina's back!”

I halted, chest still rising and falling from my run. That name still sent dread through me. “She looks so much better than she was years ago,” they continued with their chatter.

I knew they knew I could hear them but they didn't care. They would do anything just to hurt me. Corvina was an omega I saved years ago during the war. She was skinny, almost lifeless and almost devoured by rogues but I saved her and took her in.

When I got married to Merrick, she was right beside me. A witness, you'll say and what did she do? My hand instinctively went to my stomach. She took my first born child.

“Luna,” Hazel rushed over to me. 

I quickly shoved that thought aside. Corvina couldn't be in the pack. Merrick banished her. He placed a bounty on her head and if she ever stepped into the pack, she gets killed.

Hazel took my hand, leading me into the mansion. She was my maid and close friend. We grew up together and she has never left my side. I was glad to have her here or my five years in this pack would be worse than it already was.

“Please take it easy on yourself,” she said softly. I hummed without a word.

A knock came on the door the moment we walked into my room. “Come.” I took a seat on the bed as Hazel handed me a glass of water.

“Luna,” the maid bowed. “The Alpha has returned.”

A smile spread across my face as I placed the glass down, rushing out to see him. I had not set my eyes on him in three weeks. Walking into his private study, I spotted him. He stood by the window, the maids helping him take off his clothes.

I rushed over, signaling the maids to leave, and wrapped my hands around him from behind.

“I've missed you, my love,” I confessed. He didn't utter a word. Grabbing my hand, he turned around. A big smile remained on my face, but his face remained stoic.

“How was the negotiation? Did it go as planned?” I asked.

“You lost the child,” his cold voice resonated through the walls.

I felt a restless flutter in my chest. “I…”

“You had one job, Kaelen. And you failed!” he barked, tossing my hand to the side.

“I don't know what happened. I promise I was careful.” I tried grabbing his hand, but he pushed me off him. I stumbled back, tears rolling down my face. “I promise…”

“Enough with your stupid promises. Get out!” He pushed me to the door. I stumbled forward, falling to the ground slamming my head on the door.

The pain spread through my head. I helped myself up, holding my bleeding head. Merrick didn't look my way, his back to me.

“I'm hurt, Merrick,” I whispered, trying to see that care he once had for me, but he didn't turn. He didn't seem to care.

I waited, maybe he just needed time but nothing changed. With my aching heart, I left to my room.

“Luna, you're bleeding.” Hazel led me to the bed and went for first aid.

“It isn't my fault, Hazel. I tried to protect our baby. I… I don't know what went wrong,” I sobbed.

“It's okay, Luna,” Hazel held me close.

I did everything right. I did light tasks. I ate the meals prescribed by the doctor. It felt like it was working. Five months and I thought it was all going right, but I lost him. I lost my cub.

My third miscarriage. Every time, Merrick became angrier. No matter what I did to soothe him, he pulled away from me every time. I've had to deal with the miscarriage alone every single time. I was breaking but Merrick doesn't see it. I always take the blame and it hurts. It was too much to take in.

“He's angry. I don't know what to do,” I whimpered.

“Tomorrow is the ceremony. His anger would be down by then. You can speak with him,” Hazel advised softly.

A maid walked in. “Your dress.”

I sat up, wiping my tears. The maid handed it over without giving me a second glance. I ignored her, staring at the dress for a long time. It was beautiful. In blue, Merrick's favorite colour. He always praised me when I wore blue.

Hazel was right. I forced a smile. Merrick would be calm by tomorrow. I would speak to him then.

The next morning came slowly. Usually, for such events, I was to have numerous maids tending to me, but none of them ever wanted to. Anyone who was forced made things hard, and so all I had was Hazel.

“I'm so glad the injury isn't that deep,” Hazel sighed, helping me with my makeup. She has been secretly sulking all night but has refused to say what was on her mind.

“You can say what you want to, Hazel. You don't have to hide it with me,” I said, giving her a warm smile. She sighed and placed the makeup palette down.

“Luna, don't you think you are making a wrong decision? Alpha Merrick is…” she bit her lips, contemplating whether or not to speak.

“Tell me,” I said.

She darted her eyes around them whispered. “Another letter came.” She grabbed it from under my pillow. “I know you said I shouldn't tell you of anymore of these letters but...”

She handed it over. I read through it and sighed. I stayed silent for a minute as I walked over to my wardrobe. I grabbed a box, and placed the letter within. This was another letter from my cousin I would be ignoring.

“It sounded urgent, Luna,” Hazel said.

I shut the box, fixing it back in the wardrobe. “General Sterling has always been one to exaggerate things to get me to come back.”

But I can't. I loved Merrick. I knew for the past five years he has been busy. We barely spoke for longer than ten minutes, but I knew the pack needed him.

It has been five years since I helped him through the war, but there was still a lot to do. Even then, my heart hurt, but I would bear it for the pack and for him.

These thoughts felt heavy now, but I couldn't just give up, right?

“He is not good for you, Luna. He doesn't care about you. All he does is be mean to you. For five years, he has never marked you even though you two are mates. He has made you a laughingstock in the entire pack. I'm sure he has some ulterior motives for doing this,”  Hazel took my hand. “Home is calling you, Luna. Take the call, please.”

“He wants to mark me today. This ceremony is everything.” I tried to smile, optimistic but it died just as the thought flashed my mind.

But Hazel read me like a book. She squeezed my hand. “Are you truly happy here, Luna? You've only grown sadder since you were made his wife.”

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My lips twitched as I tried to force a smile, but I could not. I knew Hazel was looking out for me, but I loved Merrick.

I turned to her, forcing a smile. “I am happy. Merrick has just been busy. He promised to stay with me now. I have a feeling, after today, everything will change.”

Hazel didn't seem convinced but one thing echoed in my mind. “One more time I'll give our marriage a chance. One more chance.”