Taking My Hope Away

I lay on an icy operating table and waited in despair for death to take me. Meanwhile, my husband, Arthur Rothe, waited outside Shawna Green's operating theater.

I had tubes plugged into my body, and the beeping of the instruments around me made me feel like bells were chiming. They were telling me it was time to leave.

As my ECG turned into a straight line, news of Shawna's surgery being a success came from the other operating theater. The light outside the operating theater went off, and my eyes shut forever.

To my surprise, I appeared by Arthur's side in the form of a soul. Perhaps it was because I'd been left with overwhelming resentment when I died.

I watched as he held Shawna in his arms, his eyes red with agitation now that she'd escaped death. My heart sank at the sight.

I wanted to ask him whether he'd worried about me for even a second when Shawna and I had been wheeled into different operating theaters at the same time, but I supposed the answer was no.

After all, he'd taken me to court over her illness. He'd hired the best lawyer in the industry to sue me, and I'd lost the case.

I'd been in so much pain when getting my kidney removed that cold sweat had drenched my back. I'd called Arthur and pleaded, "I'm sorry, honey! Please don't take my kidney—it really hurts, and I feel like I'm going to die!"

I'd never adopted such a soft stance with Arthur before and thought there was a chance he would let me off the hook if I were to admit defeat and take the blame for things I'd never done. We'd been together for five years, and I thought that would've meant something.

However, he'd merely laughed cruelly over the phone. "Admitting your mistakes is what is expected of you, and saving Shawna's life is your punishment. Don't even think about getting away with this, and don't think you don't have to apologize to her since you're giving her your kidney.

"Think about all the things you've done to hurt her over the years. I'll get even with you for that once she's better! Even if you want to die, you'll have to wait until after you've apologized!"

I'd tried to deny my involvement in the things he thought I'd done, but I was out of strength.

Arthur didn't seem to think his rant was enough to vent his anger. He snarled, "You disgust me!"

He'd hung up after that, and my heart had plummeted into an abyss. My love for him went with it.

He claimed I disgusted him, but he'd been different when he'd married me. At the time, he'd lovingly told me he would love me for life. He'd also said I was his first choice, his only exception, and the only person he was partial to. However, he'd forgotten all about me once Shawna had come into the picture.

Now that I was dead, I watched as Arthur gently stroked Shawna's face. It was as if she was a precious treasure.

"Thank God you're alive… Thank God." He was choked up, and his bloodshot eyes told me he'd spent the night awake out of worry for her. Did it ever occur to him that I would be dead as he worried about her?

Shawna cracked a weak smile. "I'm sorry for making you worry, Art. Where's Leona? Is she mad at me? I'll apologize to her right now."

She struggled to prop herself up—anyone who wasn't blind could see that she was faking it, though. But of course, Arthur couldn't see it.

Sure enough, he gently pushed her back onto the bed and caressed her head affectionately. "Silly you. Leona is the one who should apologize—what have you done wrong? You'll keep getting bullied if you're always so kind."

A nurse couldn't help teasing them when she saw how they were acting. "You two are such a loving couple."

She turned to Shawna. "Your husband waited in the corridor throughout the night during your surgery. He didn't step away even once."

Shawna blushed shyly. Arthur stiffened for a split second but didn't correct the misunderstanding.

Just then, the nurse sighed and said, "The patient who was in the operating theater beside yours wasn't as lucky as you, though. She was alone when she was brought here, and none of her family members have come to collect her body. She's such a poor thing."

After a brief silence, Arthur also sighed. "That really is pitiful."

My gaze dimmed, and I smiled self-deprecatingly. Shawna was all he could see and think about. How could he possibly remember my existence?

The conversation stopped there. Arthur and the nurse wheeled Shawna to her ward together. As they passed by the operating theater where my body was, he faltered and glanced inside.

My body was still on the operating table. However, my feet faced the door, so no one could see my face. Still, if Arthur were to take a closer look, he would see the scar on my ankle. I'd gotten it when saving him in the past.