Tangled with him

Love cannot be forced, as my grandmother once taught me. I should not let fate determine where and what would make me happy; instead, I should let my heart uncover my actual feelings rather than succumbing to instinct as an omega.

She was right; I should not have clung to that so-called fated mate from the start.

As the days passed in my life, I gradually understood what she meant. I should love myself sooner than I do now because seeking love from other people has made me more pitiful.

"You're finally here; I thought I'd have to wait a little longer before you came back." I look around and see him sitting on the couch. He became at ease here, as evidenced by how he walks and behaves now, as opposed to the first day.

"Why, do you want to talk about something with me?" Will he ask me again to allow him to return to the South, even though the Alpha he loves is already happy with someone else?

This is not surprising to me given what I expect. Years pass, but I know that genuine feelings are difficult to discard; it was difficult for me to do so back then... It's quite difficult, yea…

“I just wanted to wait for you… Is that make you uncomfortable?” He said and rub his nape as if he was the one who feel the awkwardness between us. If only I’m like the old me, maybe I would react more than this.

“You don’t have to do that, I have many servants to wait and serve me, there is no reason for you to act like that as if it’s your responsibility.” I can taste the bitterness of the past, I bit my tongue just to ease my hate toward him. “Please, don’t do anything from now on,” I said and walk pass him.

He holds my wrist, “wait,” he said with a low tone of voice…

I sighed in frustration, “what now? Can’t you see that I am so tired, I need some rest too.” I can’t help but let the irritation in my voice make him withdraw his hand and look at me with worry.

“I’m sorry, but can you at least give me some work to do? Staying here without doing anything is a bit tiresome… I can be your secretary if you want as long, as I can help you.” His small reddish eyes look at me with pleading.

I look at him in disbelief, “secretary you say? Do you even know how to be one? I am not trying to say that you don’t know anything but…” He interrupts me.

“I understand what you mean, but I’m a fast learner. Back then in the South, Miller…” He stops as if said something wrong.

“It’s Miller, but I am not him. I don’t have time to teach you what you need to do, just stay here.” I said and was about to leave again when he speaks a word that snaps the last strand of my patience.

“Then I will just search for a job outside or let me come back to the South, you know that even if I stay here nothing will change.” His eyes are not looking at me, but I know what he meant.

Nothing will change between us. For him, I am still the omega he tried to reject in the past…

“I know,” I said and look at him emotionless, “if you really wanted to check the South then I will go with you, however, the one you really wanted to see in the West. Tell me, where do you really want to go?”

I can see how hesitant he is, but the desire inside of him can’t even hide in his eyes. “I just want to do something…”

There, he can’t be honest right now.

He knew very well that there is no place for him but here, he has no choice but to be good in front of me.

“As I said, do what you want. You can find a job here in North I will not stop you once you find one…” I wait for seconds but he did not say anymore, I left him standing there. I have no reason to please him like how I used to, I know my worth this time.

I remove my jacket and let my body fall into my gray soft bed, there is still paint the scent of his pheromones in my sheet made my mood even worse. I think I need someone to remove and change all the covers in my bed and pillows, or maybe I should order them to clean this whole room and spray some cologne…

No… I should not do that, they will think that I’m crazy.

Tomorrow, maybe I will let him be my secretary after all.

To be able to see and watch everything he does, I can also make him do whatever I want…

I shouldn’t think of a way to revenge on him but I can’t help to feel excited, just thinking that I can see him like a dog keeps doing everything I say and want to give shivers down every spine in my body.