CHAPTER 2

LEON'S POV 

“But dad…”

“I said, kneel.”

With a heavy heart, and no more response, I 

dropped to my knees instantly, my knees hitting the wood. 

I didn't dare look up. My thin school pants offered no protection, and the tent in my trousers was still there, proud and unafraid of my father's wrath.

Let him not see this…please, God.”

“The door was locked, I heard a sound that sounded depraved,” dad gave me a hard look as he picked up the bottle of lotion that had toppled over on the desk in my haste to fix myself before he came in.

“Lotion,” he picked up the bottle with the tips of his thumb and forefinger. “Flushed skin, privacy and…”

“I wasn't doing anything wrong, I promise,” I countered.

“Oh Leon,” dad muttered gently, looking defeated and extremely disappointed.

“Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep succumbing to the lust of the flesh?”

“I…”

“Since you cannot control your wandering mind,” he cut in, “let the sting of reality wake you up. I will rescue your soul even if you'll hate me for it.”

The leather belt snapped taut in the air.

“But because you told me you did nothing wrong, I will give you the benefit of the doubt first.”

“Dad, hold on!…”  I gasped out loud as his hand reached for the power button again. “Please trust me, it's just my notes!”

Despite my warnings, it was evident that he was going to see what I had been doing.

This was the end. Now he was definitely going to make good of his threat of sending me off to a monastery in Appalachia.

I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the roar. Waiting for the scream of “My the good lord have mercy! after he read through the graphic descriptions, the comments about Damian’s cock, the filth I’d poured my soul into.

Click.

The hum of the fan started up. The screen glowed.

I waited. One second. Five. Ten.

“Impressive,” my father said, his voice dropping the edge of suspicion. 

What?

My eyes flew open to see him nodding his approval as he stared at the monitor.

“These problems look very difficult too, I should have believed you, son.”

I blinked, my mouth gaping as I stared at the screen in total shock. 

The browser was gone. The word document was gone too, and in its place was a clean, organized file of derivatives and integrals. 

My mind went blank. 

I hadn't closed the tabs. I hadn't had the time to, not to talk of opening up a tab for Calculus.

“You've just made me very proud,” dad said, patting my shoulder with a large hand that felt like a lead weight.

“You may stand up now and get back to your studies.”

“Yes, Father,” I whispered, my voice trembling with a relief that felt like a tsunami.

As he walked out, I collapsed against the desk, pressing a shaky hand against my racing heart.

I couldn't believe it. I had just successfully evaded a beating and a miserable future as a eunuch.

My legs were like jelly. The hardness between my legs was still there, throbbing with a confused mix of terror and lingering lust.

“Leon! Dinner's ready!” My mom suddenly called out, her voice snapping me out of my head.

“I'm coming!” I called back, straightening my posture as I glanced down at my hardness.

“Fuck it.”

Shower…I needed a cold shower.

Without wasting anymore time, I dashed into the bathroom to wash off the residue of my lust.

Downstairs, the kitchen was silent except for the clink, clink, clink cutlery while we ate.

“So,” mother began, stabbing her fork into a piece of chicken that could've definitely used a little more seasoning. “How are you and Rose? She told me you've not been calling her as often as before.”

Rose was my childhood bestfriend, and the daughter of another pastor who my father had been friends with since their days in theology school.

Rose had always had a crush on me as children, and my mom knew.

“We're still cool,” I answered, shrugging. “It just gets hard to keep up with her as often because of school, and the time difference too.”

“You're right,” mom replied, smiling. “You know her parents didn't want to leave this town, but when you dedicate your life to the lord, you have to make sacrifices.”

“Exactly,” dad chipped in. “These sacrifices can be about different things, including killing off all desires of the flesh.”

A knot formed in my throat, and I risked a glance at my dad to see him watching me intently.

“Well, I like Rose,” mom commented. “She's a nice little lady and I'm hoping she and Leon will eventually make a future together.”

“Jasmine,” dad muttered, dropping his fork with a clink.

“Leon's only eighteen.”

“I know,” mom insisted, “but you married me at twenty-three remember?” She shrugged, beaming at me. “I'm just saying it'll be a good thing, not that they should both run off to Vegas and get married now.”

I felt something snap inside me, leaving a thick trail of irritation.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” I asked. “Like dad said, I'm still eighteen and in highschool. I think it's too early to be thinking about…a wedding,” I swallowed the knot lodged in my throat.

“No one's running off to Vegas with anyone. Ever.”

I eyed them both, hating the fact that I couldn't read the looks on their faces.

“Besides, Rose is my bestfriend and I don't think about her that way.”

“Well your mother was my best friend too,” dad replied, pointing his fork at me, “and now here we are.”

I stuffed chicken into my mouth to keep myself from responding. Because no matter what, my parents must never find out how I truly felt about romantic relationships.

It was one thing to have desires, and lust…but it was a completely different thing to feel these things towards someone of the same gender.

Once I was back in my room, I stripped down to just my boxers, and lay face up on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling while ignoring the slight throb at the back of my head, until I slipped into a dreamless slumber.