Chapter 1

Jeanet

I get startled by my phone when it rings, waking me up.

"Yes," I say without looking at the name.

"Girl, why didn't you tell me when you broke up with James?" The voice on the other end asks.

"What are you talking about, Linda?" I mumble, still sleepy.

"Why do you sound confused? Are you in an open relationship? Please don't tell me you are in an open relationship."

"If I were in an open relationship. You would know." I fight the urge to hang up. I am now fully awake, listening to Linda torture me. I take a look at my phone's screen and the time is 3 am.

"Then did you break up with James?" She raises her voice, prompting me to keep a distance between my ear and the phone.

"Don't you think you would know if we broke up?"

"So, why is that woman on his I*******m feed?" She demands.

"Let me call you back." I hang up without giving her a chance to explain.

I immediately check James's profile, and there she is on his I*******m feed, her pictures and the caption... 'Happy birthday.'

We have been fighting about his relationship with Ellie for two years, but he swears that there is nothing going on between them.

I turn and gaze at the man who is still fast asleep on my left.

"James!" I pat his shoulder. "James."

"Hmmmm?" He slightly opens his eyes.

"What the hell is this?" I shove the phone in his face, and the brightness of the light makes him squint his eyes.

He slowly sits up and looks at the pictures. "Really, Jeanet? You are waking me at this time for this?"

"You woke up at 12 am to post her pictures. Why can't I wake you to talk?"

"What do you want me to say?" He glares at me. "You know she means nothing to me."

"No! I want you to tell me the truth. I'm your girlfriend."

"Not my wife!" He retorts.

A small gasp escapes my lips.

“Why are you so insecure?” He exhales. “I am with you, aren’t I?”

"But do you remember my birthday? Five weeks ago when you were on a work trip? You sent me a text three days later!"

"Here we go again," he sighs.

"See?"

"You know I was under a lot of stress. I couldn't think of posting about birthdays at that time, but..."

“How convenient that the stress is over right on her birthday.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he shrugs.

“I want you to admit that you are in love with her.”

“But I’m not…”

“I don’t care,” I interject. “I’m leaving anyway.” I practically jump out of bed.

"Wait. What? Why?" He looks dumbfounded.

"Because I...am exhausted." I sigh. "No matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about her. She is always there," I continue.

“Where will you go?” he raises a brow.

“Anywhere but here.” I get a bag out of the closet and throw it on the bed.

“You can barely afford rent with your failing business,” he points out.

“Don’t you think I know that?” I snap.

James likes to rub it in my face that I am the one who ruined my life. After my parents passed away, I was a child star living with my uncle, aunt and my cousins. I was overworked and broke, so, I got myself into scandalous situations so that I got less jobs, until I didn't get any jobs that has something to do with the media.

He gets out of bed and looks at me like he pities me. This makes things so much worse. “You can stay until you figure something out.”

I nod.

"I haven't been honest with you. I think that you at least need to know the truth." He sits on the dressing chair.

I shake my head. Realizing that this is the moment that I dreaded the most.

"Please, don't confirm my suspicions." I plead.

"I never thought that I would give in, but I love her. She is the best. Her personality, her voice, her face, her. Everything about her just makes me want to be with her all the time." By the time he finishes talking, his face is all lit up.

The words hit me like a ton of bricks, but I manage to keep it together. "That's... That's absolutely okay. I really, really understand." I sigh to try to prevent my voice from shaking. “Does she know how you feel about her?” I ask.

“I think she does," he nods, his sadness is visible in his eyes. "I'm really sorry, Jeanet."

"That's okay," I whisper. I swallow to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Talk to her, and tell her about how much you love her," I add.

“I can’t," he shakes his head. "I can’t be with her, I love her too much, and that means she will have the ability to easily break my heart.”

The emphasis on 'too much' is enough to make me want to scream, but I manage to keep it together in front of him.

"You would rather be with me and keep breaking my heart?" I chuckle bitterly.

"You know how I feel about you," he says defensively.

"I think I do."

"I love you, but I can't resist her."

“These are the words that every woman wants to hear from her boyfriend of four years,” I say dryly.

He breaks eye contact and stares at the wall. I go for a run to give him some privacy, and also because I can't stand his face.

***************************

Linda and I are not supposed to be seen together. We sneak around a lot, and we act as if her controlling uncle, who hates me doesn't know we hang out together. We both know that he knows, and Linda says he acts as if the last time we saw each other was five years ago. Linda lies every time she comes to spend time with me.

"But you can come and live with us," Linda says the moment she arrives at my apartment. James has already left for work, and I called her when I got back from my run.

I look at her as if she has just told me I should live in a desert without water.

"Come on," she forces a chuckle. "Uncle Damien is not that bad."

"Are we talking about the same person?" I snort.

"Yes, you know he's really not..."

"You know how your uncle and I feel about each other," I interject.

She nods and suddenly smiles like she always does when she has an idea. "Let's forget about my uncle. I got a job for you."

"What kind of a job?" I eye her suspiciously.

"An old friend needs a receptionist, and I think you would be..." She pauses. "Perfect for the role."

"Why do you look unsure?"

"I'm probably stressed about tomorrow's presentation," she says dismissively. "There's a lot on my mind."

"Are you sure?"

She nods.

"Can I G****e this person?" I ask.

"The person is not on the Internet, but he is a nice person. A very close friend of mine."

"Who?" I raise a brow. "I thought I was your close friend."

"A close friend in the world of business."

"Who is the friend?" I ask. "You look uncomfortable."

"Me?" She chuckles. "Why would I look uncomfortable?"