I woke up groggily looking at my alarm, 'shit'!!
It's 9. How come I didn't wake up to my alarm? Normally it's so loud that the whole building can hear it and then I remembered last night.
I still can't believe whether it's true or a figment of my imagination. I quickly checked my call register and there it is, the truth. The phone number of my Sister with whom I haven't spoken in 6 years. I didn't believe my ears at first when I heard her voice last night. She sounded excited, happy. I forgot how her laughter sounds. If I can remember she never was happy when she was staying with us, mom, me and her. There was always a cloud of sadness clinging to her. So, it was quite a shock when I heard her with a complete personality change. She said she wanted to clear the air between us, I'm not sure what that meant for us. It's little bit too late for me.She left us when I was 15, still a minor to do anything, still in the clutches of an evil witch aka our mom. I don't want to spoil my thoughts thinking about my dead mom. I don't know whether I should be happy that she finally contacted me or angry that she left me when I needed her the most. I'm about to find out in 3 hours which mood I will be in.
I started my morning routine getting ready for my work. I work as an errand girl aka assistant secretary in training as an executive in Sinclair enterprises. It was hard to land what with no experience and my lack of higher studies, but I pulled it. I'm not ashamed to admit my looks have been a crucial factor in getting it, thanks to the interviewers wandering eye and I played that to hilt. I'm 5.8" with a curvy figure and blond. My green eyes are the Colour of leaves after heavy rain.I checked my watch and I know I'm going to be late. I hope the dragon (secretary manager) who handles all duties of us lowlife secretaries is late, I know it's wishful thinking still I can hope and pray. I took the subway and ran as fast as I could in my 3-inch heels stopping at a cafe to take latte for my boss.When I reach my floor, the lift door opens to the face of a very angry dragon. I can see her teeth grinding and jaw flexing.
'Good morning Mrs. Kimberly'
' Is that so Ms. Anderson? I didn't notice'
I thought to say, you should walk out and watch the sun, it's fun to see it other than chained to a desk 24/7, but I didn't say it.
Instead, I said, ' well I think Mr. knight needs me'
and tried to walk around her with special emphasis on trying to.' please note that next time it wouldn't be good morning for you if this is repeated'
'Yes Mrs. Kimberly', I replied as meekly as I could get.
I stumbled past her trying to forget the dragon scaring me out of my job.
Ugh this is so not my morning, I found out belatedly. Not only I got a warning from dragon but also Mr. Knight crossed with me. Mr. Knight is in his 40's and is of gentle nature normally. Apparently today is my lucky day
'Ms. Anderson', he called me.
'Yes, Mr. Knight?'
'I told you to fax the details of members present in the NGAI project yesterday evening, where is it Ms. Anderson? Is it lost in the mail?'
'Umm I would do it right away
' what is this? School projects! Can't you do it when asked?'
''Mr Knight, I know you are going through a rough patch in your personal life but it doesn't give you an excuse to behave with me in such a manner, as you asked my assistance in after office hours".
'I'm sorry Erica for behaving in such ghastly way. Today is the day. I thought I had time, but she asked for a divorce. I didn't see it coming. I thought we could mend our fences'
'It's not your fault. Don't place your wife's infidelity on your conscience'
' I wonder taking those Long office hours is the cause'
'Stop it. It's her decision to make. Some people just fall out of love. You have to understand it.'
'It's hard to. But I get what you mean. I forgot myself in the race to give her everything that all she asked for is for us to be together. It has been such a Long time now. 17 years of marriage gone'
I don't know what else to say to him, so I kept silent. Sometimes silence is all it took to support others.
'Anyway, I owe you a Long lunch for my behaviour since morning. Why don't you go for it? And bring me back my favourite sandwich, will you?'
'Oh god, I forgot. I was going to ask for a Long lunch myself. I have a meeting with someone.'
'A male someone?', his eyes dancing.
Now there is the boss I know.' No. It's personal, but just so you know, I'm meeting a female'
"I don't know you swing that way", he said with humour shining in his eyes.
'You never know. I would like to keep my personal life to myself'
'Don't I ever know? I don't know anything about you except what is there on your resume and you don't like black coffee'
'Trust me, you know more than enough'
'I wonder '
'What?'
'Is it to keep your personal life secret or a secret from your personal life?'
'You watch way more Detective movies than required. I'm leaving. Will come around 2'
' ya ya, just divert me why don't you'
I shook my head and took myself out of my office building. It's 11:40am already. I must meet my Sister in 20 min in a well-known cafe four blocks over.
The traffic is more than normal. As Christmas is around the corner every shop is decorated in white and red. I don't have anything against Santa, but holidays and I don't rub well together. There is no big mystery just that as far as I can remember I was always alone during holidays even when my Sister was living with us. It doesn't say much about our family bond.
Checking my phone for any new messages I entered the cafe and my eyes found auburn hair before I recognised myself doing that. She has changed a lot. For one her figure is not stick and bones abused with drugs anymore. She has a healthy glow about her. She smiled when she saw me. It can only be called radiant. I don't know what happened to her in these six years but I'm happy for her even though she left me out cold.
'Hi', she said tentatively when I kept on staring.
Realising I was still standing I sat across her and asked her the one question that was burning through me since that call.'Why now?', I questioned coming to the point.
He extended his hand, before everyone important to us, to join him. I searched for Kade. Understanding what I’m asking, Kade appeared beside me, to walk me through the aisle.When I reached Raphael, he joined our hands together and turned us to the pastor. We both looked into each other’s eyes ignoring the pastor, until the time he asked Raphael, ‘do you Raphael Jacob Sinclair take Erica Anderson as your wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?’Raphael said ‘I do’ while looking into my eyes.Then the pastor turned towards me and asked ‘Do you Erica Anderson, take Raphael Jacob Sinclair, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and obey, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him fo
Two days have passed since I cut our ties.Despite telling him no, I was suffering from a lassitude, a vagueness, that prevented me from doing anything more energetic and profitable than wandering the streets of New York listlessly. A strenuous exercise may help, but my body was not obeying my commands. What I need is, I decided fretfully, something to take my mind off Raphael Sinclair.Remind me why are we doing this again? Asked my inner diva.Self-respect, I gritted out.It must be nice sleeping with that self-respect, my inner self said sarcasm dripping from her voice.Decide which side you are before sprouting your nonsense.Can I say, peace? My inner b queried.There was nothing dramatically changing in my life once I said no. No light pointed out whether I have done the right thing or not. No mini-Raphael’s asking, ‘Why did you leave daddy, mommy?’ In the dreams. All the same, I felt lonely. Sometimes I questi
‘That’s the point. You never considered how I may feel! Normally, when a girlfriend says she is pregnant, her boyfriend asks-how does she feel? Is she happy? Does she want this baby?... you know the basic things. But do not place surveillance on her as if she is a fugitive. Who does that? You always canter to what I may want without consulting me, yet never wait and think what I may need, Raphael?’‘You are being unreasonable Erica. I explained to you the circumstances and the delicacy the situation warranted’‘No! You had your turn, now you listen to me. This relationship’, I swallowed the lump that formed on what I was about to say, ‘this...whatever we are having is not how a relationship works. There must be a give and take. There must be dates, talking...not soulful silences, sharing each other’s feelings, emotions, fear’s, hobbies, musical tastes, not to forget the past(like have any more surprise family
‘Before I speak any further, why don’t you go change while I order something for you?’ He pointed towards his wardrobe that has his second set of clothes.‘Are you going to charge this one too?’ I joked, reminiscing his demand to pay for the clothes he bought.‘Consider this my investment’, he countered.Once I changed into his shirt and ate a sandwich that no doubt one of his possums provided, I asked relaxing on the couch, ‘so, what do you want to talk about?’‘Do you love me?’‘Just go to the jugular, why don’t you? You don’t have the right to ask that question. I’m not here to listen to this’, I tried to get up.‘Sit down Erica. Trust me, I will explain later. Just answer my question’I snorted at him demanding my trust. ‘Why?’‘Because I want to know how you feel about me before I say anything&rsquo
It didn’t help to improve my mood either when I stepped outside the subway to encounter the rain. The way my life is going I really ought to have known better than to think the weather would cooperate. A wry glance at the dense cloud-packed sky confirmed that the rain wasn't likely to let up. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. I had no alternative but to get soaked in the rain as I walked. By the time I reached my former office, I’m drenched wet to the bone, my cream shirt and black skirt, no doubt liberally splattered with dirty rainwater spots. I don’t know what I’m going to accomplish once I meet Raphael, however, in my current mindset I would probably stab him with his pen that’s always neatly placed on his desk.Once I entered his floor, my eyes landed on none other than the woman who was cast alongside Raphael in the picture. She was lounging casually on the couch outside his office, doing her touch-up. Why, oh why? Can this day get any
All I’m saying is he is human... treat him as such. Don’t condemn him without listening to his side, Raphael’s new friend aka my inner b advised me.That’s not true. We talked about what happened, I mulled.No, you dissected, and he listened patiently, my inner b was on a roll.Yet, not once did he object, I countered.At this, my inner diva started counting his virtues while pacing the imaginary floor. ‘Did you give him the chance? You were the one to build an impossible castle of dreams on an insecure foundation. You were the one to abandon a relationship that has leavening magic which lacked in this generation. You may reason yourself with whatever you think is right, but just think... he was the guy who held you when you cried. He was the guy who listened to your blabbering and didn’t blanch at your imagination. He was the guy who rescued you when you are in danger, not once but twice. He was the guy who wanted to a