chapter 5_Kai. more!

The rain had started sometime after dinner. It drummed softly against the window, a kind of rhythm that made everything feel heavier. But the tension had started long before that.

The front door slammed downstairs, sharp and deafening. I didn’t even flinch. It was always the same. My dad, stumbling in after another celebratory dinner with his law firm associates, half-drunk on whiskey and praise. I stayed curled on the couch, textbook open but forgotten in my lap.

"Wren!" he called, voice slightly slurred. "You do your reading?"

I didn’t answer.

He stepped into the living room, eyes bloodshot and suit rumpled. He looked at me like I was a piece of furniture he couldn’t remember buying.

"You just sit around now? No ambition? Your mother..."

"Dad don't" I snapped before I could stop myself. "Please don't talk about her."

He  scoffed. "You’re just like her, you know. All emotion and no spine."

That cracked something open. "You wouldn’t know anything about a spine, Dad, you spend most of your time chasing the next win and the next high than being with your daughter".

His eyes darkened, a flicker of guilt buried in the anger. "It is that and next win and next high that puts food on your table and gets you those stupid frivolities you buy so watch your mouth.

I stood. “ Ha! I was waiting for that one, I'm sorry you put food on the table... father."

Silence stretched.

Then, he turned and left the room without another word.

The tears didn’t come. I was past that. I grabbed my hoodie and left, slamming the door.

I walked to Kai’s house, rain misting across my face. I was numb, emotionless.

I knocked quietly on his door. A few seconds later, Mrs Gina appeared, a perpetual smile on her face.

An apron adorned her small waist and bits of flour stuck to her nose like it was purposely smeared.

"Wren? Oh honey. You okay?"

Her voice was gentle and warm, the same as it had been since I was nine years old and came over for cookies and cartoons. I nodded, eyes suddenly stinging at her softness.

"Hi Gina" I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Come in, baby. You’re soaked. ."

She pulled me into the warm of her home.

It smelled like freshly baked cookies and maple syrup. It smelled like what a home was constantly supposed to feel like. It smelled like something I'd lost 10 years ago.

Gina put a blanket over me and a cup of hot choco in my hand.

"Drink up sweetie, Kai's in his room studying, wanna go hang with him?"

"I'd love to, Dad's on it again"

She rubbed my back in understanding.

"Let me fix some cookies for you two, give me a minute"

"Alright. Thank you. Mr. Aaron's not back home?" I asked scanning the living room. Kai's parents always baked together

" We ran out of flour for the next batch so he drove to the supermarket to get some, he'll be back anytime now honey".

I envied the love and stability Kai's family had, it was like a cosmos that nothing could infiltrate. The definition of a picture perfect family, something I lacked, something I desperately needed in this moment.

A mother who'd tell me that the whirlwind of emotions I felt were similar to hers and walk me through it.

A father that wasn't bipolar, happy today,  and drunk on his ass the next, blaming me for his shit luck.

"Here you go sweetie" Gina cooed, brining me out of my self pity.

"Thank you" . I climbed up the stairs to Kai's room, hands holding a large tray of  cookies and a juice box.

His room smelled like pine and old cologne and safety. He was sitting on the floor beside his bed, books spread out around him, hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows.

He looked up. His eyes narrowed slightly. "What happened?"

I didn’t aswer. I placed the tray on his table and crawled to him pressing my forehead to his shoulder. He let me sit like that for a minute before speaking.

"Your dad again?"

I nodded.

He pulled me closer. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know.”

So we sat in silence. The kind that wasn’t awkward. Just safe.

Eventually, I whispered, "I’m tired of feeling like I'm the problem Kai, I just had to get away before I said something id regret."

He brushed a hand down my back. "You did great Wren"

We slipped back into a comfortable silence again.

He patted my back in a soothing dull rhythm, hypnotic in a way.

“I’m scared to rush into anything,” I blurted. “But if I wait for my birthday, if I hold out that long… I want to understand what I’m asking for. I want to know my body, I want to stop being afraid of wanting things.”

A beat passed. Two. Then Kai nodded once.

“Okay,” he said. “We go slow. I’ll teach you.”

He stood, pulling me with him gently by the hand.

We ended up beside the tall bookshelf. The lights were low, the rain outside still whispering against the windows. I stood with my back against the shelf, trying to slow my heartbeat.

Kai stepped in close, one hand on my waist, the other lifting my leg gently, curling it around his hip. His palm settled over my thigh, firm and warm.

“You good?” he asked, voice low.

I nodded. I was definitely good.

He kissed my neck, lips soft and warm, sucking lightly. I let out a breathy sound, hands clutching the front of his hoodie.

“You like this?” he murmured.

“Yes,” I whispered. “God, yes.”

“Tell me when to stop.”

“I will.” would I?

He trailed more kisses down my neck, his hand squeezing my ass, his body pressed firmly to mine.

I could feel every part of him on me. Hard against soft, and it did things to me.

"Kai. More" I moaned fisting my hand in his dark curls.

"Shh birdie, my parents are right out the door" he chuckled, before sliding his fingers under my skirt and teasing me.

I slapped a hand across my mouth, stifling my moans.

"Fuck birdie, you're wet," he groaned, biting the skin on my neck.

I couldn't even be embarrassed by my body's blatant response to his touch.

"We should take this to bed birdie, the floor's getting cold" he mumbled against my skin.

"Mhm?" I asked, unable to form a coherent sentence with how much pleasure I was feeling, everywhere.

"I said we should take the cookies to the bed...you good?"

Huh?. Cookies? Is that what we were calling this?

"Are you sleeping birdie? Oh I didn't know "

The scene morphed slowly. I wasn't pressed between the wall and Kai, making out, I was staring into a concerned Kai's face.

"That was a dream?" I asked, shocked at the obscene things my mind made up.

"I guess?" Kai looked confused.

"Well shit" I blushed.

Kai's concern turned into one of smugness, probably piecing together the puzzle.

"What dirty thing were you dreaming of Wren Sinclair" He teased.

"I'll never tell".