3: Eloise’s POV (Do you still want me?)

The nightmare always began with the slam of the door.

I would look in the mirror and see that I was small again, no more than seven, standing barefoot on the peeling linoleum of our apartment.

I had no idea why my mind projected my image this way.

Maybe it was because in that actual moment I felt small.

Small and frightened of what was to come.

The hallway light cut a yellow line across my mother’s face, catching the streak of mascara she hadn’t wiped away.

She looked a mess, the same way that she always did when she had done a line of coke or taken another hit of crack.

I hated to look at her when she looked this way and she looked this way quite often.

Her suitcase was already by the door, her hand tight on the handle. I move forward, my little hands reaching for her. For the mother that I hoped was still resident in her.

"Mom? Mommy, where are you going?"

She looked back at me with those eyes I had scared me on one too many occasions—green, sharp, unrelenting when she was angry, but tonight, soft, broken, scared.

Something was coming. Something that she had to escape.

“Don’t look for me, Ellie,” she whispered. Her lips trembled, like the words were razors she had to force out. “Promise me you won’t.”

"Mom?"

I shook my head, reaching for her sleeve, but she jerked back, as though my touch would ruin her resolve.

“Please,” she begged, her voice cracking. “You don’t understand. If you ever let him find you… if he sees you…”

"Mom..."

"Promise me you'll run and never come back!!" her eyes were wide and frantic as she stooped low and grabbed me forcefully, "Swear to me, Ellie. SWEAR IT!!''

The rest dissolved into static, like the world itself was refusing to let me hear it. I screamed for her not to go, but my voice came out soundless, my throat raw from nothing.

And then she shoved me to the ground and ran into the hallway even while I still reached for her. Darkness swallowed me.

I woke with a jolt, my heart slamming against my ribs. The motel ceiling loomed above me, water-stained and dim. My throat burned as though I’d been screaming aloud.

I had been renting this shitty motel for the past week. I didn't know how long I could keep it up with what little money I had.

As much as I was not exactly thrilled by the idea, Tristan taking me under his wing was my last shot at a normal life.

I pressed my palms to my eyes until the buzzing of my phone dragged me back. A number I didn’t recognize.

I answered before I could think.

“Hello?”

A pause. Then that voice.

“Eloise.”

Tristan Walker. It was really him.

I sat up too fast, the sheets tangling around my waist. My breath stuttered.

“Y-yes?”

His tone was clipped, careful, like a man speaking through glass.

“I’ve arranged for a DNA test. Private clinic.''

I understood. He was trying to be as discreet as he possibly could.

At least he was better than me in that area. I had barged in on his engagement and announced to a room full of strangers that I was his illegitimate child.

"Oh. Okay'' At least he was willing to find out the truth.

"They’re expecting us. I’ll text you the address.”

The room was still spinning and I was yet to fully recover from my nightmare but I still managed a response.

“All right,” I whispered.

“Today,” he added. His voice dipped lower, fraying at the edges. “We’ll see you there.”

The line cut before I could ask anything else.

Today? Okay, Tristan. I could work with that.

___

The clinic sat between two glass towers, its doors automatic and cold. I smoothed my coat, trying to ignore the trembling in my hands.

Inside, the air smelled of antiseptic and quiet. Every sound—heels clicking, a printer whirring, a cough from down the hall—seemed magnified.

They were already there.

Tristan looked immovable in his suit, shoulders squared, expression unreadable.

His hands were buried deep in his pockets and the incessan tapping of his feet betrayed him and gave off his anxiety.

The other man from the night before, his fiance, was at his side. His stare locked on me the moment I walked in, sharp as broken glass.

His jaw was set, lips pressed thin, his whole posture braced like I was a storm threatening to rip through his life.

And I suppose that I was. I did ruin what was meannt to be a perfect moment after all.

I swallowed and forced my voice steady.

“Mr. Walker.'' I greeted my father as I stood before him and his fiance.

“Eloise.” Tristan’s nod was measured. He turned to the man next to him, ''This is my fiance, Aalex Mongroove''

Neither I nor Alex said anything, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. The silence between the three of us made the fluorescent lights buzz louder.

The tension was so heavy and I was glad when the receptionist came around with a perfectly, polite smile.

The petite receptionist with brown hair tied in a bun spoke to me first.

“You must be Miss Eloise?”

''Eloise Perkins. Yes'' I replied.

She slid a clipboard across the counter. “We’ll just need your signature here. Mr. Walker has already arranged the consent forms.”

I felt Tristan and Alex’s gaze burning into me as I scrawled my name.

It looked small, childish against the official paper. I almost cursed my mother for placing me in this situation all by myself.

Why did I even come here in the first place? It wasn't like I was even welcome here.

The nurse arrived a few minutes later, brisk and efficient.

“All right. We’ll just need a quick swab from both of you.”

She motioned for me first. The sterile cotton brushed against my cheek, and I flinched despite myself. My mother’s voice whispered in the back of my mind:

''Find your father. He's the only person that can keep you safe....''

How was this stern looking teacher supposed to keep me safe? And safe from what? Why did my world have to be thrown upside down?

When she finished, she moved to Tristan. He didn’t flinch, didn’t blink, just accepted the swab like it meant nothing.

“There we are.” She sealed the samples into two separate envelopes, clicking them shut. “Results will be ready within forty-eight hours. The clinic will contact you directly, Mr. Walker.”

“Thank you,” Tristan said. His voice was steady, but his jaw was rigid.

As the nurse left, the silence returned, heavier than before.

I stood there, unsure if I should go or stay. My hands fidgeted with the strap of my bag, my throat tight.

Tristan finally spoke. “This will give us clarity.”

His choice of words stung. Clarity. As if I were nothing more than a question mark in his life, waiting to be erased or confirmed.

“I’m not lying,” I said softly.

His eyes snapped to mine. For a heartbeat, something flickered there—pain, disbelief, maybe regret—but then it was gone.

“I didn’t say you were.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Alex shifted closer to him, protective, his voice low but cutting.

“Why now? Why come after him now, after all these years?”

I turned to him. His tone wasn’t curious—it was accusatory. Like I had barged in to ruin everything. It still made me angry.

Did they think that I wanted to be here? That I wanted to be torn from my life, my home and sent out to find a man that never even knew that I existed.

That probably would not have cared even if he did know that I existed. His life....it was perfect. He had everything that I wish I ever had, he was happy.

We were from two seperate worlds and I was an intruder in his.

"If you had a father that you had never seen or heard of and you finally got the chance to find him. Would you let the chance slip?"

There was something that switched in Alex's eyes. Like I had hit a nerve but it quickly vanished as soon as it came.

Maybe he was like me and had a messed up relationship with his father.

That's a lot of daddy issues to pass around.

“My mother told me the truth before she died,” I answered, my voice raw.

I took a step closer. My chest ached with the weight of the question that had been burning since yesterday.

“Mr Walker, I gave up everything to come find you and now I need to know. If the test comes out positive…” I swallowed, my voice trembling.

“If it comes out positive, that you really are my dad. Will you even want me?”