Chapter 5

"There are only two reasons why one would do anything ever intimate with someone who they hate." Alya said in a matter of fact tone, looking directly into Nandini’s eyes. 

Nandini looked at Alya in confusion while the latter one seemed to be confident about her thoughts. 

Alya royally ignored the look on Nandini’s face and started. "The first reason is that they're really good at  codifying their  passions. They can truthfully and objectively say if someone is attractive or not while keeping their opinions about the other person's personality separate. This compartmentalisation allows two people to come close and enjoy the adrenaline rush that comes from crossing the boundaries that they normally wouldn't. Your body basically craves the illicit. The forbidden."

Nandini's eyes snapped open, she seemed to be terrified. "Is she fucking insane or what? Craving the illicit! I don't crave Manik secretly." She mumbled under her breath inaudible to Alya. "What's your other reason?

"The second is that there is a thin line between love and hate. If you think about it, hate and love are both manifestations of passion. Basically, two people subliminally like each other but they haven't consciously realized it. Something is stopping them. I think that's the case with you and Manik. You both just can't pass your childhood dynamic because you guys have become used to living like that for so long. It stops you from consciously acknowledging aspects of the other person that you like. There might be some underlying ego in there as well and fear of rejection by the other."

Nandini was at a loss of words. She didn’t know whether to feel good about having a friend like Alya or just break her head for even thinking something this way. According to her, the second reason was way worse than the first.

"Bullshit!" Nandini screamed, being flushed red with anger. "Alya, I'm sorry, but both your reasons don't make any sense. They’re utterly bullshit. Also, it’s Manik who started things, not me. I’m telling you, I have known him since my birth and I’m sure he is doing this only to throw me out of this job. Nothing else."

Nandini acted all defensive, in contrast to her character.

"Look, I'm not accusing you of anything. I think it's very normal that is going on between you two. You guys only need time to figure out your dynamic and I’ll suggest you keep your distances aside for once and give it a shot." Alya muttered in a calm tone.

"Did you hit your head somewhere recently? Because you’ve gone mad. We don’t need to figure anything out. There is nothing going on between us." There was no way she was going to accept it. 

Alya held up her hand in a gesture of asking Nandini to remain quiet and continued by herself. “Look, Nandini, I know that he started it, but Nandini….” She stopped for a while and exhaled a breath before starting again. “And please don't blow up at me for saying this.” 

Nandini stared at Alya eagerly, waiting for her to reveal what was in her mind. 

“You also responded to it, didn’t you? With just as much vigor. I know he mostly instigates your fights, but you instigate him just as much whenever you can too."

"So, you're saying this is my fault?" Nandini stared at Alya in disbelief. She was offended. "You're saying I instigated him to write those mean things about my work ethic? He clearly wrote trash about my submission."

“Urggh! Fuck! No, that's not what I meant Nandini. You know it.. See this is why Dhruv said not to say anything about this "

"Dhruv also thinks it's my fault? What the fuck!”

"NO!" Alya reached across the table and held Nandini's hand. She let out an exhausted sigh.

"That is not what I'm saying. The comments were a dick move by him and I understand they were hurtful to you. I'm not denying that at all. I'm just saying in general, you are as quick to blow up at him and lash out and attack him, as he is to you. He instigates, but you respond to him equally. He's burning and you're the fuel to the fire, Nandini babe, can't you see spark between you two? It has progressed so far now. You two search each other out like heat seeking missiles just so you can attack each other. You two don't even realize doing it."

Nandini frowned at Alya trying to rationally process what she was saying. On this point at least, she knew that Alya was right. But she hated hearing it out loud. She had very easily fallen into step with Manik's instigations and had willingly taken part in their vicious exchanges. It was like second nature to her, like breathing. He did something outrageous and snide remarks would flow automatically from her tongue in response. It was so natural.

"But he still started it, Alya, and he brought it into the workplace this time. Can you believe it?" She was desperately grasping onto straws to keep an upper hand in the argument.

"Yes, he did." Alya smiled at her and squeezed her hands. "But Nandini don't you think it's because unconsciously, he tries to seek you out? Your attention? He hasn't realized it just like you didn’t but I think that's what he is doing. Moreover, I’ve always seen him being crazy about you."

“Fuck! Crazy about me? Alya, please consult a psychiatrist!” Nandini snatched back her hand. "He looks at me with anger all the time. He is crazy enough to strangle me, he is crazy enough to do the worst to me. But crazy to be with me? Nope. Never."

"Don't you remember last year when your families went shopping? I was there as well. That creepy manager leered at you, called you ‘item’ and offered to help you personally. Manik was ready to punch him to his death." 

"Alya, that's just how Manik is. He would've done that for any woman in the family. In fact he would've done that for any woman even if he didn’t know her. You know how serious he is about his responsibility, as the head of the family. Though I hate to admit it, he respects women and he never steps back from fulfilling his duties."

"Okay, then what about the time you slipped and hit your head? Manik was absolutely frantic for you and didn't calm down till he got you to hospital. He was going crazy when the doctor delayed arriving. I've never seen him behave like that. He didn't react like that when Inaya tripped and fell."

"You’re too filmy, Alya. That's not what you’re thinking of it to be. Anyone would be frantic, I was bleeding. That doesn't mean anything. It doesn't prove Manik harbors any sort of…” She stopped and gulped. “Any sort of unrealised feeling about me."

Alya opened her mouth again to retort back, but suddenly a tray full of food was plopped down in front of them. Aryaman and Dhruv came there, helping themselves to settle beside the girls. 

Nandini and Aryaman glanced at each other. They tried hard to hide their chuckle as Alya and Dhruv were overly affectionate. They even made eating with them awkward. It wasn't long before Alya was feeding Dhruv fries one by one and staring at him lovingly, ignoring how Dhruv had managed to get sauce all over his face.

“Being in love makes people gross.” Nandini thought in mind.

Nandini spent the rest of the afternoon slightly unfocused as her mind was filled with Alya's words. She refused to give any weight to the second reason. As per Nandini’s thoughts, reason number two was ruled out purely because Alya was an idiot about love.

Her own reasoning had to be ruled out too. If Manik had to get her kicked out of his company, he didn't need to kiss her to do so. He could've done it already after handing her back poor reviews on her work.

She was then left with the first reason only. At least, it was easier to stomach than her reason number two.

“Is that why we made out? Because we’re physically attracted to each other even though we hate each other? Because we crave the illicit?”

Nandini couldn't recall ever thinking about Manik being attractive. But now that she thought about it, objectively of course, she realized that it was true. He was attractive, sexy and devilishly hot. He was good looking. He was tall, wide shouldered and brooding. His presence commanded respect. His golden brown eyes, seductive smirk and sharp jawline could make any girl fall on her knees and beg for him. In short, he was everything a girl could ever ask for.

Then another thought crossed her mind. “What does Manik of me? Is he thinking of me the way I’m thinking? Does he find me attractive? Is that why he kissed me?” Nandini sighed and stepped into the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors started to close on her, a perfectly tanned hand was placed in between the door frames stopping them in their tracks. The sensor reacted to the touch and the doors easily started sliding back open. Manik stepped in, pulling Nandini out of her thoughts. She was startled with his sudden presence. 

“Act normal, Nandini. Act as if nothing happened. Just don’t react!” She continuously chanted in her mind.

Manik was also taken aback to see her. But he walked in and stood beside her. 

"Nandini."