CHAPTER I: Into the New World (part 2)

Without me minding my steps, I reached the parking lot where our company shuttles are in. I rode the one that was scheduled to give me a lift.

I never liked sitting at the back, it makes me feel sick all throughout the ride. However, this time, I wanted to isolate myself. Rethink my past decisions, the opportunities that I missed.

I rested my head on the side of the shuttle, my tears began flowing once again. There, I cried with no sound. I was just staring into nothingness while droplets of water escaped from my eyes.

I wiped my tears in no time when I felt that someone sat next to me. When I turned my head, it was Mir—one of my teammates. 

“Hey.” He slightly raised his left hand and gave me a warm smile.

“Hi… Please don’t mind that.” I faced my thighs, hiding my wet face. 

I heard him chuckled, “Silly Alessandra, there’s no need to be embarrassed. We all have those ‘times’”

I let out a laugh. I wasn’t sure if it was because of his silly face or it was my body’s post-response to all the tears that I’ve shed.

“Have you ever tried wishing for a new life?” His voice became serious and he gave out a warm yet dodgy smile. “You know, Japanese and Korean comics have been too popular as of the moment because of its reincarnation or transmigration stories. Have you ever wished to experience the same thing?”

Scenes from the stories that I have read flowed in my mind smoothly, it was as if someone intended that I remember it. In a slow manner, I nodded at him.

“Well, I’ll lie if I say I didn’t. But I know it was just a fleeting dream.” I faced the window—silently asking to end our conversation. Luckily, he got my message and became quiet.

After some time, the shuttle began moving. The ride was silent—it was because the shuttle swayed almost all of us to sleep. 

 “Why not try wishing on a full moon tonight?” The deafening silence was broken when the person beside me spoke with a low voice.

Quickly, I turned my head to face him, but it was too late. He already left his seat and unmounted the shuttle that just stopped.

Upon defeat, I massaged my temples and decided to brush off Mir's naughtiness.

***

By the time the clock struck at two in the morning, the shuttle finally stopped at my drop off point. It was before the entrance of the city’s largest bridge.

Yawning—I unmounted the shuttle, thanking the driver and bidding my goodbyes to my colleagues. I unconsciously stretched my arms that were already sore due to the quite long travel.

I started walking towards our house that is situated below the bridge’s entrance—facing the river. 

Darkness still covered the surroundings, with a little bit of an amber light coming from several light posts.

It was as if on cue, my forehead started creasing when I heard shouts coming from our house. It was too early in the morning, yet the source of the noise did not seem to mind.

As I opened our door, I was welcomed by the mixture of cries and shoutings from my family.

My little brother—our youngest was crying at the corner while he was being comforted by our third sibling. My mother, father, and our second sibling were mindlessly shouting.

“Ma! Why can’t you understand that the money you took from me was intended for my tuition fee!” Tears are flowing from my second sibling’s eyes—Maria. Her hair was disheveled and both her hands were balled to fist. 

“You can just ask for a promissory note! What do you think is more important? Your school fees or our bills?! If I didn’t pay our bills, where would we go? No one will pick us up!” My mother’s face went red and the veins on her neck were starting to show. “What did I tell you? I said give up college and look for a job!”

“And what? Be like elder sister? Begging anyone to just give her a job?” 

My head fell, out of shame. I had so much to say, but only a few came out of my mouth. 

“Ma, that’s enough. We might wake up the neighbors,” I said while giving my mother a gentle smile. I then faced my siblings. “You three, go back to sleep.”

“Hah!” My mother exhaled, eyeing me with anger. “How did my life amounted to this,” she asked before finally walking away. My father—who remained silent upon my arrival—followed her immediately.

I laughed. How shitty. 

I knew what my mother meant by her question. I always did. Because she never failed to let me know. She never failed in telling me how miserable her life has become when I came to her life. That I should not have been born. Well, flash news, I wasn’t asking for it either. 

With that, my last straw of hope finally went to drain. A pang of remorse hit me when I realized how cruel my life was. That no matter what I do, I can never feel at ease with my family.

I decided to take a walk by the bridge after settling my things in my room. The darkness, the silence was calming. Even the wind was blowing gently—comforting me.

For the third time, my tears went flowing—hard. My mind became chaotic as different kinds of thoughts went flooding in. 

I’m just twenty-two years old. I wanted to achieve more in my life. I wanted to become a research scientist. That's why I tried my very best just so I could get a scholarship for my Pharmacology degree in college. 

But all my efforts went into nothingness. I had to stop, not just college, but also my dreams. I accepted the fact that I will never be able to achieve it. Because I had to provide for my family. Because it was my job as the eldest…

I wiped my tears and looked up—only to find myself laughing at how full the moon was. 

“Well, there’s no harm in trying.” I just shrugged my shoulders and earnestly closed my eyes.

“I wish… For a more adventurous and fruitful life. I wish… For a new life.” My eyes remained closed for a moment before letting out a laugh.

“How silly of me! I might be labeled as crazy if someone saw me wishing at the moon.” I covered my face with my two hands trying to quiet myself that’s continuously laughing.

However, my heart skipped a beat when I felt a cold hand touch my back—forcefully pushing me.

I turned on my back to see who it was, but I was a second late. Before I knew it, I already lost my balance and was falling from the bridge. Only the silhouette of the devil who pushed me was the last thing I saw before drowning in the cold river.

Is this how I’m gonna die?

***

I let out a wail—shutting my eyes hard due to the pain in my head. Slowly, I opened my eyes and with reflex, my hand blocked the rays of light trying to reach my sight.

I became bewildered of what’s happening. The last thing I remember is that I was drowning in the river. Am I in the afterlife? Wait… I still can feel pain in the afterlife?! 

The moment my eyes adjusted to the surroundings, I quickly scanned the things around me.

Luscious trees, birds chirping, the roughness of the grass, and the scent of nature greeted my whole senses. 

I onced again winced when I felt a tingling pain on the back of my head. When I held it, I felt a sticky texture on it. With shaking hands I witnessed how red my blood was. That was when I realized that I wasn’t in the afterlife.

“Where… In the world am I?!”

 ***

TBC

Lluvia Ramirez 2021