Consciousness

The first thing I felt when I opened my eyes was surprise. I was not dead? 

After my very vivid memory of Blaine and me that weekend, there was nothing after that. 

A stretch of white and white nothingness.

So opening my eyes to the bright ceiling of a hospital ward was a surprise. I felt a warm hand in mine and turned to see a shock of straight blonde hair.

I tried to speak but suddenly realized how tight and hot my throat felt, like I had been walking in a desert for months. 

I swallowed, becoming aware of the oxygen mask sitting on the bridge of my nose.

How badly had I been hurt? 

As I lay back there, I realized I still had feelings in my limbs. So bending my fingers around his, I squeezed.

I felt Kan twitch, and then settled back into sleep again. Then his head flew up and he was staring at me.

“Sweetheart.” He covered my face with his and kissed my forehead. “My sweetheart. What are you feeling now? Does it hurt anywhere?”

A tear dropped down the side of my eye as I watched him, thinking about how I lay on that floor, unable to reach him as life slipped out of me, scared silly that I was leaving my son in a world where no one really cared for him or would care for him.

I attempted to raise my hand to take the oxygen mask off when I realized I was much weaker than I thought earlier, and my hand fell back to bed.

Kan hastily reached out, and gently pulled the mask away. 

I inhaled, sighing deeply as I started to breathe.

But the air felt a little like a sharp blade, scratching against my lungs quite painfully.

My hand found the button on my bed and I pressed down till my bed was bent into a sitting position.

“Can you speak?” Kan asked, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

I nodded, “But it hurts.” 

He grimaced in pain as if his lungs had taken in all that poison instead of mine. His hand was still in mine, and he squeezed as he stared at me.

I nodded, and opened my mouth to speak again. 

I had to learn how to use my throat again, no matter how much it hurt. 

If Kan had brought me to this hospital and was not running off to call a doctor, it was because they had done a good job so far, doing everything they knew.

“Water,” I whispered and winced from the effort.

Kan was up immediately. “I’ll call the doctor too,” and he disappeared. 

The doctors came first, and told me how lucky I was. And set up the humidifier in the room with soothing essential oils to help me breathe better.

I asked about the Minister’s wife and that was when Kan returned with an insulated flask, and thanked the doctors who left without another word to me. 

I watched them, my heart sinking.

Did something bad happen to the woman then? 

Kan began pouring, and I soon realized this was not water but milk, warm milk. He walked back to the bed and helped me drink it. 

“Feel better?” he asked. I nodded and looked away.

He was quiet and when I glanced back at him, he had a sad look in his eyes, like I was hurting him. 

I felt a sudden burst of anger as my mind went back to those pictures and how he must have still been with that woman while I was dying.

But my anger died just as quickly when I remembered the woman’s words and realized she had been right. 

This was not my man. 

This was merely a false marriage, no matter what I had wished for in the past, no matter what he wished for now.

I felt around for the button and began to lower the bed again, signaling I wanted to rest. 

With my face still turned to the wall, I did not move my fingers till the bed was flat again.

Kan seemed to get the message as he stood up. His voice was husky as he said he was going to check up on Oliver and get me a proper meal. 

I nodded without looking at him.

I should not be angry. I should focus my attention and energy on other things, but I couldn’t.

I lay staring at the wall, wondering what happened to Mrs Inuoe, hoping she was not dead. 

As much as I wanted to know, I thought if Kan wanted to keep the information from me, maybe it was really better to wait for longer.

I knew I was only delaying the pain with whatever would come, but I could do that. No need to begin suffering again so soon after I just escaped death. 

I had no idea how long I had slept for.

But when I opened my eyes again, I found myself staring in the eyes of the last person I expected to see.

“How are you feeling?” His voice was just as soft as Kan’s but somehow managed to have more effect and mean more to my silly brain.

I swallowed in nervousness, reminding myself that I was no longer the old Ariel, and there was no need to feel intimidated by this man. 

I had as much power as him and was even his superior.

“I am OK,” I said, staring back at him evenly. I felt a shiver go round my body at the grayness of his eyes. 

It felt like I was staring directly at my son.

I would never let this man come anywhere around my Oliver. If that is what he is here for, he could as well just leave now.

“Why did you call me?”

“What?” I frowned at him.

“I found you and brought you here,” Blaine said, moving closer, “Did Sullivan not tell you that?”

I looked at him, not believing a word of what he was saying. Even if I had been just about to fall into the pits of hell, I would not have called him. 

Why would I do that? If Kan was unavailable, there would be my assistants and then my P.A., my chauffeur and even my damn chef.

Why the hell would I call Blaine of all people? I might as well have called Ophelia to come save me.

He was looking at me in amusement now, and I stared at him with angry eyes. 

He took his phone out, and soon I heard my voice. It was very faint, but the words were clear.

I had called Blaine Tucker for help.