Two queens

Kan did not stop even as the vigor in Eleanor’s thrashing legs slowly died, and a tear ran down the side of her eyes. 

He loved Ariel. 

And after hearing what she did today, cooking for him, he somehow loved her more than he had ever loved anyone.

She cared about him. She cared about the real Kan, not his money or what he could do for her. 

And she was always so calm, gentle and accommodating.

“Please.” Eleanor managed to somehow get the words out of her lips clearly, and strength immediately went out of his hand. 

She wheezed painfully as air rushed back into her lungs, the veins in her temple standing out, her eyes blood-red.

Kan stood up, unable to bear looking at her. 

She struggled into a seating position, painfully dragging air into her lungs. The sound was horrible, and Kan briefly wondered if he had overreacted.

Did he really want to lose Eleanor? He could never commit to her, but this woman had been with him for years, his only source of joy on some of the darkest days.

He walked out of her bedroom, slamming the door. 

He dug in her kitchen and chucked honey in a glass of warm water, and returned to her bedroom with the liquid in a big mug. 

She was no longer coughing, but she was slumped weakly against the headboard of her bed frame.

She stared at him as he moved closer and pushed the mug into her hands. 

As she tried to raise the mug up, her hands shook and some of the liquid spilled onto the white sheet.

Kan cursed and took the mug from her. He gently put it to her lips and helped her drink the whole thing down. 

She was still looking at him after he dropped the mug, and he could not quite name the emotion he saw in her eyes.

Sadness and disbelief? No, more like resignation. 

He looked away and leaned forward, his head falling in his hands. 

What the hell would he do now? What was the next step?

What if Ariel took Oliver and ran off, leaving him in the middle of the night, just like he had done to Tucker? 

She did not really care about money. The only thing keeping her here was protection for her son.

But what if she suddenly no longer cared for all that?

“What did you tell her?” He asked, without looking back.

“What?” Eleanor’s voice came out in a cracked whisper. She had lost her voice.

“It could only be you. What message did you send my wife?” His voice came out angry and loud as he turned around. 

She stared at him like a frightened cat, and before that would have driven all his fury away.

But not this night. Not anymore.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said.

On another day, he would have laughed. “Have you forgotten I can tell when you are lying, Eleanor?” 

He watched her in disbelief. Where was the sweet young woman he had almost dated in college?

Where did this anxious, possessive-eyed woman come from?

She looked away.

“Eleanor.” He called, and she closed her eyes, throwing her head back on the headboard. 

He sat still, watching her, all his limbs suddenly feeling numb.

She slowly opened her eyes again and reached for something under one of the pillows on her bed. 

She tapped the phone she pulled out, and stretched it out to him. 

He hesitated for a few seconds, suddenly frightened of what he might see. He finally took the phone from her, both of them staring at each other.

When he turned his eyes to the phone, he stared unseeingly at the screen for a whole minute. 

This was worse than anything he could have imagined. Ariel would definitely never talk to him again.

“Did you force yourself on me?” He looked up at Eleanor in shock, and hurt. He had been stupidly drunk and did not remember any of this, so it had to have been without his consent.

Her eyes flamed for the first time, “You think I would do that?” Her voice sounded so broken, it was like a stranger speaking. “You think I would force myself on you?”

“Then how do you explain this?” He shook the phone in her face.

“Angles, Mr chairman. It just looks like we were f*cking.” She said, sarcastically. 

He growled and began to move close to her, but she sprang off the bed.

“And this message. You think I am yours?” He stood up, yelling at her. 

He was so mad he could cry, or even worse, just actually kill her. 

“Her own man?” He said in disbelief, remembering the content of the message, "My heart is Ariel’s.”

“You said so clearly enough in your drunken stupor.” Eleanor was looking at him from near the door, and without her glasses, she looked so young. “How can you do this to me?” Her eyes were sad, and a tear dropped down her cheek.

All the air went out of him as he looked at her. 

He was not sure what she was referring to. His strangling her, or loving Ariel.

She suddenly crumbled to the floor, her back against a wall, and burst into tears. 

He could not stand it anymore, so he walked past her and out of her apartment.

He drove straight for the hospital, his mind in turmoil. 

The image of Eleanor’s defeated tears, and then Ariel unconscious, hooked to an oxygen tank as she was wheeled past him in the hospital lobby warred in his head. 

He yelled into the night in his open roof car. 

This was all his fault. He was hurting the most important women in his life. 

He knew how much Eleanor had sacrificed to be with him. And then how it was clear that Ariel would have liked more in the first few months of their marriage. 

How caring and affectionate she was to him even when he was an asshole, and unnecessarily repeated that nothing could happen between them. And now. 

Now..

He cursed loudly, and drove into the hospital garage. 

He branched at the glass shop in front, and picked up a large bouquet of roses.

He went up and nodded in appreciation to Ren who was still standing outside the ICU. 

“Go home, Ren.” Kan said gently, his eyes traveling to Ariel behind the tall glass windows. “This is my mess to fix.”