Chapter 9: The Morning After

Elena woke to sunlight streaming through the curtains and the sound of movement in the hallway. She sat up quickly, disoriented for a moment before remembering. Lily was here. Her daughter had slept in the next room.

She found Lily standing in the hallway outside the bedroom, looking small and lost in the oversized t-shirt Elena had dressed her in the night before. The child's hair was tangled, her eyes still puffy from crying.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Elena said softly.

Lily turned toward her, confusion clear on her face. "Mommy?"

"Yes, baby. You're at my apartment. Do you remember coming here last night?"

Lily's forehead wrinkled as she tried to recall. "I remember being at school. And the stage. Everyone was looking at me and I couldn't breathe right."

"You had a panic attack during your performance," Elena explained gently. "The school called me and I came to get you. You stayed here last night."

"I don't really remember that part," Lily admitted, her voice small and scared. "Everything after the stage is fuzzy."

Elena's heart ached. "That's okay. Sometimes when we're very upset, our brains don't record memories clearly. The important thing is that you're safe now. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Tired. And my head hurts a little."

"That's normal after crying so much. Let's get some food in you and you'll feel better." Elena gestured toward the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

Lily nodded hesitantly.

"Go sit at the table. I'll make your favorite breakfast."

The kitchen was small but bright, with morning sun coming through the window above the sink. Lily climbed onto one of the two chairs at the little table and sat very still, her hands folded in her lap.

Elena moved around the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for chocolate chip pancakes. Lily's favorite since she was three years old. Elena had made them every Saturday morning when they lived together, before everything fell apart.

She wondered if Lily even remembered those mornings.

As Elena mixed the batter, she watched her daughter from the corner of her eye. Lily was looking around the apartment with an expression that was hard to read. Her eyes traveled over the small living room visible from the kitchen, the bookshelf full of technical manuals and novels, the simple but comfortable furniture.

"Is this where you live now?" Lily asked quietly.

"Yes. I moved here about five months ago."

"It's smaller than Daddy's house."

"It is," Elena agreed, pouring batter onto the heated griddle. "But it's mine. I chose everything here myself."

Lily was quiet for a moment, processing that. Then she asked, "Do you like living here?"

Elena thought about how to answer honestly. "I do. It felt strange at first, being alone in a new place. But now it feels like home. It's peaceful here."

"Don't you get lonely?"

The question caught Elena off guard. She flipped the pancakes carefully before answering. "Sometimes. But lonely is different from alone. I'd rather be alone and peaceful than surrounded by people who don't really see me."

Lily frowned, clearly trying to understand what that meant.

Elena brought over a plate of pancakes, perfectly golden with melted chocolate chips. Lily's eyes lit up just a fraction.

"You remembered," she said softly.

"Of course I remembered. These are your favorite." Elena set syrup and butter on the table. "I remember everything about you, Lily. Your favorite foods, your favorite colors, the way you like your bedtime stories read with different voices for each character. Just because we haven't been together as much doesn't mean I stopped knowing you."

Lily stared down at her plate, not moving to eat yet.

Elena sat across from her with her own smaller stack of pancakes. "What are you thinking about, sweetheart?"

"Miss Vivian says you left because you didn't want to be part of our family anymore."

Elena's hands tightened on her fork, but she kept her voice calm. "That's not true. I left a marriage that wasn't working. I left your father because we couldn't be happy together anymore. But I never, ever left you. You're my daughter. Nothing could make me stop wanting you in my life."

"Then why don't I live with you?"

The question was so direct, so painfully honest, that Elena had to take a breath before answering.

"Because your father and I are working out custody arrangements through the court. These things take time. But Lily, I want you to understand something very important." Elena waited until her daughter looked up and met her eyes. "Every single day that we're apart, I miss you. Every single day, I wish I could see you. Not seeing you isn't my choice. It's the situation we're in while the adults figure out the legal details."

"Daddy says you're trying to take me away from him."

"I'm not trying to take you away from anyone. I'm trying to be your mother, which is what I've always been. You can love both of us. You can have both of us in your life. That's what I want for you."

Lily picked up her fork and took a small bite of pancake. She chewed slowly, thinking. "These are really good."

"I'm glad." Elena smiled. "Eat up. You need your energy."

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Elena watched her daughter slowly relax, the tension in her small shoulders easing as the familiar breakfast and quiet morning worked their magic.

Finally, Lily set down her fork and said, "Mommy, I'm scared."

"Scared of what, baby?"

"I don't know. Everything feels confusing. I feel like I'm supposed to choose between you and Daddy and Miss Vivian, but I don't know how to choose. And last night on the stage, I was so scared and I couldn't make it stop."

Elena moved her chair closer and pulled Lily into her arms. "Listen to me carefully. You don't have to choose between people who love you. And what happened last night wasn't your fault. Sometimes our bodies react to stress in ways we can't control. That's what a panic attack is."

"Will it happen again?"

"I don't know," Elena said honestly. "But if it does, we'll handle it together. We'll figure out what's causing you so much stress and we'll fix it."

Lily nodded against her shoulder. They sat like that for several minutes, Elena holding her daughter close, before Lily pulled back.

"I should probably call Daddy. He doesn't know I'm here."

"Actually, he does know. I texted him last night to tell him you were safe with me. But you're right, I should call him this morning to talk about arrangements."

Elena picked up her phone from the counter, dreading the conversation but knowing it was necessary. She dialed Marcus's number while Lily watched nervously.

He answered on the second ring. "Elena."

"Good morning, Marcus. I wanted to let you know Lily is fine. She's having breakfast right now."

"You had no right to take her without discussing it with me first." His voice was cold, controlled anger barely contained.

"She was in distress and she needed her mother. The school called me, not you. I picked her up and brought her somewhere safe."

"You're manipulating the situation to make me look bad."

Elena closed her eyes and counted to five silently. "Marcus, this isn't about you. This is about Lily having a panic attack in front of her entire school. She needed comfort and stability. That's what I provided."

"I want to speak to her. Now."

Elena looked at Lily. "Your father wants to talk to you. Do you want to speak to him?"

Lily's eyes went wide. She shook her head quickly, almost frantically.

"She doesn't want to talk right now," Elena said into the phone.

There was shocked silence on the other end. "What?"

"She's not ready to talk to you yet. She's still processing everything that happened."

"That's ridiculous. Put my daughter on the phone, Elena."

"No." Elena kept her voice firm but calm. "I'm not going to force her to do something she's clearly uncomfortable with. When she's ready to talk to you, she will."

"This is parental alienation. I could take you to court for this."

"For what? For comforting our daughter after a traumatic experience? For letting her have breakfast in peace? Go ahead and call your lawyer, Marcus. Tell them the whole story. Tell them how the school couldn't reach you or Vivian, how Lily had a complete breakdown, how she's refusing to speak to you this morning. Let's see what they say."

Marcus was silent for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice had changed slightly. Less angry, more uncertain. "Is she really okay?"

"Physically, yes. Emotionally, she's struggling. She needs time and space to recover."

"I have meetings all weekend. Important ones I can't cancel." He paused. "Can she stay with you until Monday?"

Elena felt a surge of both triumph and sadness. Triumph because she'd get more time with Lily. Sadness because Marcus was so willing to hand off his distressed daughter when it was inconvenient.

"Yes. She can stay through the weekend. I'll bring her to school Monday morning, and you can pick her up after."

"Fine." Marcus sounded relieved. "Tell her I love her."

"You can tell her yourself when you see her Monday."

Elena ended the call and set down the phone. Lily was watching her with wide eyes.

"I don't have to go back today?"

"No, sweetheart. You can stay here through the weekend."

"Can I stay longer?" Lily's voice was so small, so hopeful, that it physically hurt to hear.

Elena knelt down beside her daughter's chair, taking her hands. "I would love nothing more than to have you stay as long as you want. But right now, the court has rules about when you're with me and when you're with your father. We have to follow those rules."

"Why?"

"Because that's how custody arrangements work when parents aren't together anymore. But Lily, I want you to know something important. No matter where you're staying, no matter what the schedule says, I always want you with me. Always. You are the most important person in my life. Do you understand?"

Lily nodded slowly. "I think so."

"Good." Elena squeezed her hands gently. "Now, what should we do this weekend? We have two whole days together. How would you like to spend them?"

For the first time that morning, Lily smiled. Just a small smile, but real.

"Can we do science experiments? Like we used to?"

Elena felt tears prick her eyes but blinked them back. "Yes. We can absolutely do science experiments. Just like we used to."