The Legal Wife Rage

AMBER

The air in our bedroom felt heavy and thick. It was the kind of air that makes it hard to breathe. I pulled my large black suitcase across the wooden floor. 

The sound it made was loud and sharp. It felt like the sound of my old life breaking into small pieces. I did not look back at the bed where we used to sleep. I did not look at the photos on the wall. I only looked at the door. I wanted to leave this house and never come back.

I reached for the handle of the door. My hands were shaking. I was not shaking because I was sad. I was shaking because I was very angry. I have been sad for a long time. Now, the sadness was gone. Only fire was left inside me.

"Where are you going?" Justine asked.

I stopped. I did not turn around yet. His voice sounded calm. It made me want to scream. He sounded like a man who did nothing wrong. He sounded like the same man I fell in love with five years ago. But he was a stranger now. He was a monster wearing the face of my husband.

I turned around slowly. Justine was standing near the closet. He looked handsome as always. He had the same dark hair and the same deep eyes. But when I looked at him, I did not see my husband anymore. I saw a liar. I saw a man who broke every promise he ever made to me.

"Isn't it obvious?" I said. My voice was steady. "I am leaving. Isn't this what you want?"

Justine took a step toward me. He reached out his hand, but I stepped back. I did not want him to touch me. His touch felt like poison now.

"Amber, wait," he said. "If that is your decision, then go. But we have to talk properly. We need to find closure. I know I have committed a grave sin against you. I know I hurt you."

I started to laugh. It was not a happy laugh. It was a cold and loud sound. I looked at him and shook my head.

"Oh no, Justine," I said. "We are not doing that. Closure? Really? Is that what you call it? You are only here to ask for forgiveness because you want to feel better about yourself. You think that because I still love you, I will just accept everything. You think I am weak. You think I am the same Amber who cries and says it is okay."

Justine looked down at the floor. "I just want us to be okay."

"You want me to leave without a word," I continued. "You want me to let you two live your lives. You want me to be the doormat I have always been. You want me to disappear so you can be happy with her. But those days are over, Justine. The woman you could walk all over is dead. You killed her."

Justine sighed. He looked frustrated now. He crossed his arms over his chest. This was the part where he tried to be the smart one. This was the part where he tried to make me feel like I was the crazy person.

"Let us be adults about this, Amber," Justine said. "Let us not be consumed by anger. It happens, okay? People fall out of love! It is a part of life. But it does not mean that anyone is at fault here. We just grew apart."

I felt the blood boil in my veins. I walked toward him until I was just a few inches away. I wanted him to see the fire in my eyes. I wanted him to feel how much I hated him in this moment.

"It does!" I shouted. "Someone is responsible for our marriage falling apart. And that person is you! You did this, Justine! It did not just happen. You chose to do this. You chose to break our vows. You chose to break my heart. Because you could not keep yourself away from her! Because you had sex with your own brother's wife!"

The room went silent. The words hung in the air like a dark cloud. It was the truth. It was the ugly, dirty truth that he tried to hide. He had betrayed not just me, but his own family. He had taken the one person he should have never touched.

"We did not just fall out of love, Justine," I said, my voice dropping to a whisper. "You betrayed me. You did it over and over. You looked me in the eye every morning and then you went to her. You kissed me with the same lips you used on her. It is disgusting."

Justine’s face turned red. He was angry now too. He did not like being told the truth. He liked his lies better.

"All right! Fine!" Justine yelled. "You are right. It is all my fault! Are you happy now? I am the bad guy! But I also lost a child, Amber! I lost our baby too! Isn't that enough punishment for me? Don't I deserve some pity?"

I felt a sharp pain in my chest when he mentioned the baby. We had lost a child a year ago. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. I thought we would get through it together. I thought the pain would bring us closer. But while I was crying in the dark, he was finding comfort in the arms of another woman. He used our tragedy as an excuse to be a coward.

"Hell no!" I screamed. "You deserve a lot worse than pity! Do not dare use our baby as an excuse for what you did. I have given you so many chances, Justine. I gave up all the self respect and dignity I had left to stay with you. I stayed because I loved you. I endured all the lies and the cold nights because I could not lose you. I thought losing you would be the death of me. I thought I would stop breathing if you left."

I took a deep breath. I felt stronger with every word.

"But look at me now," I said. "I am still breathing. And I finally see you for what you are. You are a small, weak man. And even if we do part ways today, Justine, I will make sure you do not end up together with her. I will make sure everyone knows what you did. You will both spend your miserable lives in shame. I am going to make sure of that. I will tell your brother. I will tell your parents. I will tell the whole world."

Justine looked at me with fear in his eyes. He knew I was serious. He knew I had the proof. I had the messages. I had the photos. I had everything I needed to destroy his perfect little world.

"You wouldn't," he whispered.

"Watch me," I said.

I looked at his face. He looked so scared. His hands were trembling now. He was not the big, strong man he pretended to be. He was just a boy who got caught doing something bad.

I started to laugh again. It felt so good to see him scared. It felt better than any hug he ever gave me.

"Look at you," I said, mocking him. "Look at you! You should see your face. Your face is so funny right now! You are nothing but a scared little boy. There he is. That is the real Justine. No mask. No lies. Just a coward."

I grabbed the handle of my suitcase. I felt light. I felt like I was floating. The weight of the last five years was falling off my shoulders. I did not need this house. I did not need his money. I did not need his fake love.

"Where will you go?" he asked. His voice was weak.

"Somewhere far away from you," I said. "And don't worry about the divorce papers. My lawyer will send them soon. You can sign them while you try to explain to your brother why you were in bed with his wife."

I walked to the door. I did not look back. I opened the door and felt the cool night air hit my face. it felt like a cold drink after a long walk in the desert. It felt like freedom.

I stepped out onto the porch. The sky was dark but the stars were bright. I walked down the steps to my car. I put my suitcase in the trunk and got into the driver's seat. I started the engine. The sound of the car felt like a song.

I looked at the house one last time. Justine was standing at the window. He looked small. He looked lonely. He looked like the ghost of a man I used to know.

I put the car in gear and drove away. I did not cry. I did not feel sad. I felt like I was finally waking up from a very long and bad dream. I was Amber, and I was finally free.

But as I drove down the dark road, I looked at my phone. A message popped up on the screen. It was from an unknown number. I pulled over to the side of the road to read it.

The message said: "You think you are the only one with secrets, Amber? Ask Justine about what happened the night the baby died. He did not tell you everything."

My heart stopped. My hands gripped the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. I thought I knew everything. I thought the betrayal was just about the affair. But as I stared at the phone, I realized that the nightmare was not over. It was only just beginning.

I looked back at the road leading to the house. I had just left, but now, I had a reason to want to go back and tear the truth out of his throat.

I put my phone down and stared into the darkness.

"What did you do, Justine?" I whispered to the empty car.