Chapter One

Two years and Five months ago.

Eloise POV

No one really prepares you for the pain that comes with childbirth—in fact it was one of those things people rarely spoke about. Would this have been easier if I came in here prepared?

  I had no answer to that question because right now, pain was all I felt.

“Push!” the midwife, Marcene, ordered for what felt like one millionth time.

  ‘You’re welcome to take my place if you think it’s that easy,’ I thought.

Beside me was my mate and Alpha, Jefferson, he held unto me like he was afraid I'd disappear if he didn't hold on tight enough. 

“You’re close, Luna. All you need to do is give me one last push,”

‘I’d rather just lay here’, I thought to myself, but I knew that wasn’t an option. 

“It’s going to be alright, you can do this,” Jefferson muttered, and I believed him. It didn’t matter that he’d repeated those same words for at least a hundred times now, because once again, I found strength in them and with a loud cry, I gave one more push.

A baby’s cry filled the room, silencing mine.

My baby. Suddenly, the pain was no more than a distant memory, and all I could think about was the child the head-midwife now held in her hands. A shaky breath escaped my lips as something wet touched my cheeks—was I crying or was it just more sweat? I couldn't tell, but It didn’t matter, nothing else did.

‘You did it,’ my Wolf whispered, and I couldn’t help but smile at that.

‘No. We did it.’  

But something was wrong, I could see it in the mid-wife’s face.

Was there something wrong with the baby? 

“It’s…” she swallowed, “It’s a girl.”

Beside me, Jefferson went still. I didn’t need to look to know he was disappointed. He’d wanted a male child. But not even his disappointment could null the joy I felt. I was finally going to be a… mother.  

“Let me see her,” I said, reaching out for the still crying baby cuddled in the head-mife’s arm. 

“I’m sorry, Luna,” she whispered. But I had no idea what she was apologizing for. 

My gaze trailed between Jefferson who gave her a curt nod  and the midwife whose eyes filled with tears.

“Let me see her,” I repeated, my voice rising an octave higher. But the midwife had turned away with my baby in her hands as she headed into the inner section of the ward.

I had no idea what was going on, but there was that gut feeling—the feeling you get before things went very wrong.

“Let me see my baby!” I cried out, trying to seat up, but Jefferson held me back down, “Jeff what is she doing? Why won’t she let me hold her!”

“Shh… everything is going to be just fine,” he whispered, they were the same calming words he’d whispered to me earlier, but this time they didn’t hold the same effect, in fact, the opposite was the case.

Couldn’t he see what was happening?

“What are you doing? Let me go!” But he held on, his iron grip impossible to escape.

  “I’ll let you go, but first I need to make sure you understand…”

“Understand what!” The gut feeling had grown into something stronger, poking at my insides like sharp thorns. Panic.

“You know what birthing a girl means—it means that everything I and my lineage had built would go down the drain,” he said, but I could barely make sense of  his words. “She’ll be married off to some stranger and he—whoever he’s going to be will inherit the title. I cannot let that happen. I cannot let a stranger with no idea what it means to be an Alpha rule over my pack.”

“We don’t choose what children we get, Jefferson. We make do with what we get! ” I snapped, forgetting at that moment that I wasn’t just speaking to my mate, but my Alpha. 

“I know that, Eloise and I want you to know I do not blame you for this,”

What does that even mean?

“But sometimes we have to make sacrifices.”

I’d only registered one word. Sacrifices.

He was still speaking, but I’d stopped listening, as the one word rang over and over in my mind. I stopped struggling.

“Please,” I whispered, breaking off his sentence. “Please don't let her take my child away from me,” I pleaded in tears. 

It only dawned on me that this had been the plan from the very beginning, I’d simply been left out of it. Dread knotted my stomach and I fought down the wave of sickness.

From the inner room, I could hear my baby’s cry, and it seemed to get even louder.

“Please let me hold her at least,” I pleaded, desperate now, “Just let me see her one last time… this is all I ask of you Jeff. If you love me, then do this one thing, I beg you.”

But he only placed a kiss on my knuckles, just as he’d done earlier. “In time, you’ll understand why I had to do this.”

I snatched my hands away from him. “You’re a monster, Jefferson. A vile, deceptive monster.” I couldn’t believe I’d just called my mate that, I couldn’t believe any of this was real.

“I’ll die for my pack, and this… it kills me too, but that is how far I'd go for my pack. Please understand this, Eloise—understand that we have no other choice.”

I shook my head, unable to stop the stream of tears.

“If you do this, I’ll never forgive you,” I promised, and a broken look crossed his face.

“I’ll never forgive myself either.” 

Silence.

I could no longer hear the baby’s cry, and that could only mean one thing.  The midwife stepped out of the room, tears rolled down her cheeks.

“What have you done?” I gasped, but she wouldn’t look at me. “What have you done!”

Her tear-filled eyes finally met mine.

“You may leave, Marcene. I’ll take care of her,” Jeff dismissed. But my voice only rose higher. “What have you done to my baby you murderers! What have you done!”

Grief consumed me, leaving me weak and trembling. 

It was all too much, and I wanted it all to end.   

Then, I heard it again—my baby’s cries. I knew it wasn’t real, my baby was dead. I knew it was all in my head, yet, I chose that falsity over the reality of my life.

  “I’m going to save you,” I promised my child, “Don’t cry now… mommy is here and she’ll never let you go.”

“Eloise! Eloise opened your eyes this moment!” Jeff commanded, and when I didn’t,  I heard him call for the healers, informing them my heart rate was slowing. I heard him beg them to save me, just as I’d begged him to spare our child. What he didn’t realize was that I didn’t need to be saved, I was exactly where I needed to be.