CHAPTER FIVE

I slip out of the lodge through a side door, letting the noise and chaos of the party disappear into the background as I find a quiet place in the woods to take the phone call.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hello, sweetheart! Do you know what time it is?”

I check my watch. It’s 11:56. I’ll turn eighteen in exactly four minutes.

“Almost midnight,” I answer.

“I bet you’re excited,” my mom says. “I know how badly you’ve been waiting for your first shift.”

Most shifters have their first shift before their eighteenth birthday, but if it doesn’t happen naturally before then, we shift as soon as we turn eighteen. My mom isn’t wrong - I’ve been desperate to find my wolf and get to know her - but if she’s weak enough that she couldn’t even reveal herself without being forced, I’m not getting my hopes up.

“Yeah,” I say. “But also nervous.”

“That’s normal,” my mom reassures me. “I was terrified for my first shift. I could hardly sleep the night before I turned eighteen, I was so anxious.”

My mom is an Omega too, and she didn’t have a natural shift before her birthday either. I guess being pathetic runs in the family. No wonder our old pack sent us out here.

“How’s the party, honey? Did you tell everyone it’s your birthday? Are they gonna sing for you at midnight?”

“Mom,” I groan. “Nobody sings happy birthday anymore. We’re not little kids.”

“Still, it’s a party, and it’s your birthday, and it’ll be your first shift! I’m sure they’d love to celebrate it with you.”

I don’t have the heart to tell my mom that absolutely nobody here is interested in celebrating my birthday.

Except, maybe, Caleb. I can still feel his kiss lingering on my lips, still feel his words in my ear. But even if he cared about my birthday in private, it’s not like he can let anyone else know about it.

“It’s just a normal party, Mom.”

“Okay, well, your dad and I will have some cake with you tomorrow. And we can’t wait to hear all about your wof!”

“Thanks, Mom.” It’s 11:59. I don’t want to be on the phone with my Mom when I shift. “I’ve got to go. I love you.”

“Happy birthday, sweetie! I love you too!”

I hang up and take a deep breath. I’ve heard that shifts like this can be really intense. Painful, even. Some shifters have the luxury of learning how to control their wolf, how to manage their shifts. But when it’s your birthday and you haven’t experienced anything close to a shift, it all comes at once. And it hurts.

I wander deeper into the woods, looking for somewhere quiet and away from the party. I just want some privacy.

Actually...I want Caleb. I wish I could be in his arms while I shift, hearing his voice soothing me through it.

But that’s not possible. I shake the fantasy out of my head and keep walking until I find a clearing. Soft moss gives way beneath my feet and I lean against a sturdy tree, taking deep breaths.

It’s midnight.

Any minute now.

The moon overhead is bright, and an owl hoots overhead.

Nothing happens.

I check my watch. It’s 12:01. I’ve officially been eighteen for sixty seconds now.

And no sign of a shift. My wolf is nowhere to be found.

How long does it take? I pace around the clearing, my nervousness growing with every passing moment.

Ten minutes go by. Then fifteen. Twenty.

Still nothing.

At 12:30, I can’t deny it any longer. I’m not going to shift. There’s no wolf inside me. I’m not even a lowly Omega. I’m...nothing.

Tears overwhelm me and I slide to the forest floor, burying my head in my arms and sobbing. I’ve waited so long for this night, thinking that my shift would finally make me a true member of the pack. I’ll always be an Omega, but with my wolf, at least I would belong.

Now, I know I’ll never fit in. I’ll never be one of the pack. I’ll never be anything more than I am now.

I cry until I’ve exhausted myself, but I know I should get back to the party at some point. I can’t just stay in the woods forever, even if that sounds like my best option right now.

I wipe my face and shake out my hair, brushing leaves from my jeans as I stand up.

Through the trees, the lights of the Badger Lodge are visible, so I start walking back that way.

I’m halfway there when someone stops me on the trail. It’s Miranda, flanked by the same two girls who helped her corner me in the bathroom.

“Well hello there, little Omega.” When she speaks, I can smell cigarette smoke, and alcohol, and Malcolm’s kisses on her breath. “What are you doing out here in the dark all by yourself?”

I shrug. “Going for a walk.”

“Is that so?” Miranda crosses her arms, glaring down at me. “I don’t think you’re telling us the whole truth.”

The other girls shake their heads, menacing grins on their faces.

“In fact, while we were out here having a quick smoke, we overheard you on the phone. Wolves have very sensitive hearing, did you know?”

I swallow. “I...my mom called.”

“That’s right, your mommy called you, didn’t she?” Miranda tilts her head. “But why did she call? Was it because it’s your birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“And not just any birthday. You just turned eighteen, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“How sad,” one of the other girls says. “You’re at a party on your own birthday, and no one else even cares.”

“Her mommy cares,” Miranda says. “How nice.”

“I’m just gonna go back to the party,” I mumble, trying to sidestep them on the trail.

“Now hold on,” Miranda says, reaching out a hand to stop me. Her friends surround me, a circle of tall, pretty, cruel girls. “You just turned eighteen.”

I nod.

“But…” Miranda makes a big show of looking me up and down. “You haven’t shifted.”

The other girls gasp. I just want to shrivel up and disappear.

Miranda laughs, a high pitched cackle that sends the owl fluttering away. “It’s so obvious now. There’s no wolf inside you. You’re no better than a human.”

“Wait until everyone else finds out about this,” one of her friends says gleefully.

“Please,” I beg, but there’s no use. Miranda gives me one final shove and turns back toward the party.

She’s going to tell everyone.