The funeral (Part one)

Grady P.O.V. 

Four days! She has been in my pack, within my reach and sight, for four days and I haven’t been able to talk to her one on one after the fiasco with Josie. I’m kind of going stir crazy to be completely honest, and I’ve been on more patrol runs in the last four days than I have in my time as Alpha. My wolf needs to be near his mate, and not be able to have him in a grump as well. 

The only upside in all of this is that Adrian is right there with me, not that it’s a real upside because the poor man is suffering like hell. And the fact that Joel seems to have reconnected a lot with his sister, niece and Kaia over the last several days. I have him report to me every time he has been with me, so I can keep track of how they are all doing. 

River also went by a couple of times, and he apologized to Hazel for his comment and behavior in the car. Hazel, being the amazing woman that she is, told him she had taken no offense at all, but he might have to work a bit harder to get in the good graces with Kaia again. This apparently came when they found him fully emerged and dressed up for teatime with Lily and her dolls. I just listened and tried to not be too jealous of all the time they were spending with my mate, whereas I had been furrowly sidelined. 

Whenever I actually encountered her; for dinner at the packhouse, at the park, at the playground and in the mansion, she politely made noncommittal smalltalk until she could escape. It puzzled me a lot that Hazel didn’t seem to be attracted to me, as I am to her.Whenever she enters the room, my attention will immediately go to her, and her scent will invade my senses. Why is it not the same for her?

The few times I have made skin to skin contact with her, sparks have erupted all over my body due to the matebond. But she seems unaffected by me. As if the matebond is one sided and I do not affect her at all. Kaia would always follow me with her eyes, and I knew what she was thinking; why am I even trying when she so clearly isn’t interested. But I have to try. I have to give it a real chance. Hazel is my mate, and I can say with all honesty that I love her and have loved her since we went to school together. I just fucked things up. Royally fucked up. With help.

“Grady, are you ready? They are starting soon.” Adrian asks, coming into my room with my parents and little sister, Becky. She came home late last night from college, after deciding to take a small break to be there for me through this whole ordeal. I might know by the end of today if Hazel is officially rejecting me. Adrian is a nervous wreck as well because he knows Kaia will not leave Hazel’s side. That is definitely one thing we both know for sure. The girls, all three, are a package deal. I accept that! Even Lily. She may not be my blood, but I will do right by her for Hazel, even if the thought of my mate being intimate with some unknown stranger is slowly killing me inside. I still love her, and Onyx keeps insisting she hasn’t cheated on the matebond and that is not the reason she seems unaffected. 

“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” I answer, making sure my black tie is straight. Mom coos and hugs me close. 

“You are so brave, darling. Has there been no chance with you two?” She asks, concern in her eyes. Even if they do not fully understand my reason for pursuing a matebond that looks dead and buried to them, they support my decision and hope my wolf is right and it’s still there.

“No. She might reject me today and leave all together and you can say ‘I told you so’.” I tell her, trying with a small smile, that feels wrong on all accounts. 

As we walk out of the packhouse, towards the bigger clearing in the forest, my dad gestures for me to fall back with him. Mom, Becky and Adrian are talking amongst themselves and don’t seem to notice us. 

“I looked into the puzzle of the matebond between you and Hazel.” Dad says, placing his hands in his pockets. 

“And?” 

“Well, it seems like hers might have gone dormant in the years you have been apart.” I stop midtrack and turn to my dad. What does that even mean? He seems to read the question in my eyes because he answers without me uttering a word. “Hazel left the pack with the idea that you had found someone else and didn’t want her as your mate. Her matebond has gone dormant; sleeping, because she left with the thought of you not wanting her. Yours is intact because you always wanted her and looked for her. ” It makes sense in a weird way, and it’ll also explain a lot of the behavior I have detected in Hazel while she’s been here. We start walking again. As the ceremony is about to start,Adrian mindlinks me where the hell are you 

“Does this affect every aspect of the matebond? Scent, sparks etc?” I ask, ignoring Adrian. 

Dad nods, with a thoughtful expression. “According to what I read, it does. She will not have an intense reaction to your scent. At the most, she will find it pleasant. She will not feel the pull of the matebond. She might feel the sparks of the bond, but until it’s fully awakened or severed, that is all she will feel.” 

“I have more questions but we’ll talk later,” I told him as we arrived at the clearing. I wanted to know more especially if I could figure out how to awaken the matebond or at the least the part that went away due to Josie’s scheming. I hope Hazel decides to stick around for a while and give me another chance, but I know that may be a fool's hope. 

People are finding their seats, and I walk up to Hazel and Joel in the front left row. 

“My sincere condolences for your loss. May I perhaps sit with you today?” I ask politely, hoping my presence either in the front row or the next one behind will prevent Josie and her cronies from making a huge scene.

“Thank you, Alpha. That would be an honor.” Joel answers with a small smile. He has tears in his eyes and I’m surprised to find that they are genuine. He really is sad his grandmother has passed away. Joel moves so I can sit besides Hazel, with Lily on her other side. Kaia is in the row right behind us with Adrian by her side withRiver and Becky. 

“Hazel?” My mom says in a quiet voice, coming to the front row with dad. Hazel looks up with teary eyes. She looked shocked at first before she composed herself. Her mask of guarded restraint is back up within seconds.  “Luna Bea, former Alpha Greg.” She nods to them, angling her body to shield Lily. My instinct takes over and I grab her hand without thinking. Her head snaps to me, but she does not retract it right away, instead her hold on it tightens like I’m an anchor in a storm and she is using her last strength to hoist herself to safety within my protection. 

“We wanted to condole your loss. You too Joel. We loved Hannah. She was a great woman and a cherished pack member.” My mom says. Her eyes drift to Hazel’s hand in mine. “We have missed you terribly, Hazel. It’s very good to see you my dear.” Mom  and Dad then take their seats in the row behind Adrian and Becky. As they walk off, Hazel quickly removes her hand, and even though it hurts and feels like a rejection happening, I keep calm and composed. She lost her grandma, and she held onto me like her life depended on it when my parents addressed her. Everything is not over, and I’m taking it as a win that she only let me go after they left for the row behind Adrian and Becky. 

“I’m right here.” I whisper to Hazel, who just gives a stiff nod while looking into the air ahead. I’m going to support her however she will let me, and even if she decides to not have me as a mate after today, I will keep supporting her because that is what she deserves!