Chapter 2

 Lost in my thought I skid to a stop right before we topple over and hit the dirt. Calm down Lynette don't throw us from this mountain get control of yourself. How, how do I do this tell me Miya- that's what I call my wolf she speaks to me often and dictates to me my feelings so I can understand them fully.

I begin pacing back and forth, up and down and across the dirt. Stomping my paws deep into the earth. How? Why?  I'm lost how did I let this happen how could I be so stupid. All day I have had a bad feeling never once did it cross my mind that my mate would be the one to hurt me today. Not only is it my birthday, but today was supposed to change our lives and we would be one entirely.

My wolf is howling in pain feeling her mate ripped from her, and I know it's my fault. I made us suffer because of my actions we know this pain. I thought we could be together. I knew the consequences of my actions, each wolf has a destined mate. Here I was thinking that the world was kind and who I chose could love me back. Not the case my wolf gives her snarky remark.

We chose each other, we wanted to love each other, and be there for one another but no that's not what I got, I got my heart broke in front of the whole pack and our guest. I want the ground to swallow me whole. I fall to the ground shifting back into my human form and put on the clothes hidden in the tree.

I hear the bushes behind me, Russel, a little, and I turn my head down towards the ground. Ashamed of the way I behave how I just ran away. Leaving him there with his mate, and everyone I hold dear.

I don't want to look at anyone. I heard the whispers the gasps and even a few laughs. I heard everything. Lynette my Alpha calls and I answer him with a shaky breath, whatever it is you want to say just say it. I pick at an imaginary strong on the arm of my shirt.

I don't want to see the guilt in his eyes. He was also the one that told me if it takes my mind off things it was good to use Anthony as a distraction. “Big Mistake” on my part and I don't want his pity. Do you think mom and dad are upset with me for messing things up the way that I have? I think they're proud of who you are becoming this is a bump in the road that's it nothing to get worked up about.

I sigh heavily into my chest. This is the moon goddess way of telling me I don't get to decide and I have to deal with the consequences. She's taking everything from me all stripped away one by one. Including Anthony which was never rightfully mines but mines are still the same.

Not looking back I cry out it's ok Alpha, you have a million other things to do. Don't worry yourself,  with my problems I'm a big girl I can figure it out or mess it up again, you don't need to stick around t see it. Hearing the sound of bones cracking and clothes shuffling I'm sure he just shifted and put on some clothes as well.

Lynette, it's his loss, he says nearing me and I fill my wall beginning to break. I whip my head towards him quickly. What has he lost? He has gained another mate and I'm sure he will walk away the moment I give him an out. My screams came out mean and distasteful.

He doesn't hide or cower away, he pays no attention to the way I'm beginning and I'm grateful at least for that. He could just command me to let him go in his Alpha tone but he doesn't He listens quietly while my rant goes on and on. 

We've known each other forever my mom and his mom, my previous luna were best friends and because of that, we were pretty close too. We grew up together raised as brother and sister so he looks out for me a lot more since my parents died.

More so I know he thinks it is his job. I respect him as my alpha but there are times like these where I'm grateful to have him, he and his mate my Luna never misses a beat that's why I will gladly follow him wherever he leads. I shake my head and sigh Alpha I've made a fool of myself, haven't I?

He shakes his head no. Placing his hand at my shoulder pulling me into a tight side hug. You haven't Net, it happens to the best of us your not the only one who's fallen in love with someone she was directly mated to. I'm sure you won't be the last. Yeah that all sounds good, but we all can guess what the crowd back there is saying about it.

I laugh and shake my head but I have, I reply low and quietly kicking the dirt up from the earth. He folds his arms across his chest, Lynette loving someone can never be wrong. You can't let fear in now your just getting strong again.

Yeah but it's wrong if what you choose rather it be something or someone it can never really be yours. I now understand that Anthony can never be mine. Looking up into his eyes my tears began to pool. I try to blink them back a couple more times but it doesn't work the dame opens and my eyes flood.

 I saw the look In his eyes, I saw how with just one look he looked complete. I couldn't compete with the mate bond if I tried. I need to go away for a little while I sniffle letting fresh air enter my lungs,  closing my eyes leaning against the old oak tree.

I should probably tell you first, Alpha “I'm pregnant”! I was waiting for tonight to tell him. To tell everyone, I thought it would give more meaning to us as a whole. I have made my decision though and I'm going to do it as quickly as possible.

I'm going to release him and let him go. I don't know what to do about the pup. I was thinking I could call up a doctor and get it taken care of if I went away. He gives me a look of disbelief. Don't Chris, just don't If I have him who will want me?

Alpha Chris sighs, Lynette you can't be thinking what I think you are thinking. I'm thinking it might be better this way Alpha. That's an innocent child and if I remember correctly you've always wanted to have children. Yeah, that's when I thought they would come up in a two-parent home filled with laughter and love now I don't even see that in my future. 

Hanging my head sadly my eyes glossing over again my emotions a wreck my body tired and my mind racing. My hands trembling from the adrenaline rush, I'm scared I reply, voice stIll to hoarse from my crying so it sounds like a whisper.

Alpha Chris was walking over to shush away my sobs When small voice booms over his shoulder. We won't let you do it alone, my Luna Nina approaches and grabs me in her arms. Hugging me tightly gave me comfort and still, my bones shook with a different type of pain. One they would never know because they have each other.

Since before your parents passed we've been family and that's never going to change. I lean into her hug and burst into tears, Moon Goddess why me, “why me”. What have I done to suffer loss after loss this isn't fair? I cry until my eyelids are heavy and I blackout.