Chapter 10: Why do I feel this way?

Aurora’s POV

The air was crisp and damp as Ember and I left the stadium, the roar of the crowd fading behind us like an echo I couldn’t shake.

The field lights stayed on, bright enough to sting my eyes, casting long shadows across the parking lot and the empty bleachers we’d just climbed down from.

I clutched the paper cup of now-cold hot chocolate between my hands, my fingers stiff with nerves more than the cold.

“Best. Game. Ever,” Ember practically shouted beside me, her ponytail bouncing as she nearly skipped across the asphalt. “Did you see Zander? He was in full-on beast mode.”

I forced a smile. “Yeah… he played well.”

That was an understatement.

Zander didn’t just play well—he was brutal. Powerful. Every pass, every hit, every growl of frustration that left his throat felt like it was aimed straight at me.

But I didn’t want to tell Ember that.

She wouldn’t get it. Or worse—she’d try to fix it.

And there were some things you couldn’t fix. Not when they were tangled in years of hallway insults, cruel smirks, and the way Zander Blake always made sure I felt small whenever I walked past him.

The fact that he was her brother didn’t make it any easier.

“Well, I definitely saw someone else on your radar tonight,” Ember added, her voice sing-song and smug. “And I’m not talking about Zander.”

I blinked. “What?”

She smirked. “Don’t play dumb. Rowan Rivers. Mister Brooding-Alpha-Vibes himself. You were watching him, Rora. Don’t deny it.”

“I wasn’t—” I started, but she cut me off with a dramatic gasp.

“Oh my god, you were. You totally were! I mean, Zander looked like he was about to snap his helmet in half every time your eyes drifted toward Rowen.”

“I didn’t drift—”

She laughed, loud and full of chaos. “Girl. He couldn’t stop staring at you either. I thought I was watching a romantic fantasy movie. All we needed was background music and some fog.”

My cheeks burned. “Stop. You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being observant,” she corrected. “And don’t think I didn’t notice how fast your face went red when Zander made that tackle and turned to glare up at the bleachers like he could feel you watching.”

“I wasn’t watching him,” I lied, badly.

She gave me a side-eye. “Please. You’ve been watching him for years. I still remember how you used to hide behind your locker door when he walked by. It was kind of cute… until he became a total jackass.”

I stayed quiet at that. Because yeah… Zander had been a jackass. Still was.

It didn’t matter that I remembered the version of him from middle school—the boy who used to save me a seat at lunch and slip me gum under the table when the teacher wasn’t looking. That version of Zander didn’t exist anymore.

Now?

He went out of his way to remind me I didn’t belong. Every day.

He was cruel with precision. Cold glances in the hall. Sarcastic digs when no one was listening.

He’d knock my books out of my hands, mutter things just loud enough to sting. And yet—every once in a while—there’d be this flash in his eyes that made me hesitate.

Like there was still something human under the hostility.

Tonight, when he looked at me from the field… I saw it again. For just a second. Confusion. Anger. Hurt?

But then it was gone. Replaced with the usual fire and fury he wore like armor.

And Rowan?

He wasn’t wearing anything at all—no mask, no armor. Just that stillness. That quiet storm in his eyes.

He didn’t hide the way he looked at me.

And somehow, that was even more terrifying.

“You’re quiet,” Ember said, tugging on my sleeve. “And that usually means your brain is doing the thing.”

“What thing?”

“The spinning thing. Where you overanalyze everything and build a conspiracy theory that Zander’s been bullying you for character development.”

I groaned. “Can we not talk about Zander?”

“Fine. Let’s talk about Rowan.”

I shot her a look.

She grinned. “What? He’s new. He’s hot. He has mysterious eyes. What else do you need?”

“Answers,” I muttered under my breath.

Because nothing made sense. Not Zander’s weird intensity. Not Rowan’s sudden appearance. Not the way I felt like both of them were pulling at something inside me I didn’t know existed.

“Okay, real talk,” Ember said, stopping just short of her car. “Be honest—what’s going on with you?”

I hesitated, fingers tightening around my cup.

“I don’t know,” I said finally. “It’s like.. I’m in the middle of something, but no one told me what it is.

Zander’s acting like he owns me, but still treats me like I’m a punchline. And Rowan—he looks at me like he knows me. Like I’m.. important.”

Ember’s expression softened. “Maybe you are.”

“To who?”

She shrugged. “Maybe to both of them. Maybe to yourself.”

I laughed, a little bitter. “That would be a first.”

She looped her arm through mine and pulled me the rest of the way to the car. “You’ll figure it out. Just promise me one thing?”

I glanced at her. “What?”

“Don’t let Zander scare you away from figuring it out.”

I blinked. “You just said he’s your brother.”

“Exactly. I know how stubborn he is. And how easily he screws things up when he feels something too strongly.”

I opened my mouth to argue.. but couldn’t.

Because maybe Zander did feel something.

Maybe that’s why it always came out sideways. Like he didn’t know how to be near me without burning everything down.

And maybe.. that’s why Rowan was the opposite. Because he wasn’t afraid to get close.

But me?

I was scared of all of it.

Of them. Of what it meant. Of how something inside me kept shifting every time our eyes met.

And of how the full moon tomorrow felt like it was calling my name.