JORDI ADKINSThe current reign of silence inside my room has never been deafening. Usually, when I’m all by myself, I play some loud ass music just so I wouldn’t have this feeling that I’m all alone. However, having Xavier’s unwanted presence here, I really thought I don’t need to play anything but to add to my already existing disappointment, he’s been quiet the entire time ever since I pulled him here. He was just sitting at the edge of my bed with his mouth tightly shut and for the most part, I was just sitting on my swivel chair pretending as if I’m doing something on my laptop. Billie was just displayed on one corner and the eyes the Xavier drew on her looked like she’s been watching me the entire time.“Okay, I’m going to have to throw the towel here.” I began finally deciding to break the reign of silence myself. I said I don’t want to start the c
XAVIER ROCKWELLI fucked it up. I fucked it up big time.The words kept on echoing back and forth inside my head even after I almost beaten the shit out of Nixon for trying harassing Jordi. There’s utterly no room for me to deny the absolute fact that I was the worst in that moment, even far worse than Nixon to be quite exact. I just stood frozen solid and watched Jordi get bullied by the people that I know. This isn’t news and I know I’m mainly part of the reason why they’re so up into Jordi’s ass. I was first one who started bullying the guy and I don’t even know why I was doing that in the first place. Perhaps, I just wanted to feel good about myself because I haven’t been.I’m entirely aware of the lingering fact that I’m sandwiched in between. There’s just so much confusion and conflict that I got lost in the middle of this vast ocean. On the left side of the trench, I have my best friends Nixon and Darren. I have been friends with them for a long while and even though I’m starti
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt was the nerve. I put all of the blame on this sudden nervous state that I am currently in. Not only that it made feel less cool but it also pulled my tongue and tied it making me unable to utter a single word.I sat pretty timidly and quietly at the very edge of Jordi’s bed. My curious eyes were roaming around the room and I would say I remember everything. Vividly enough, Jordi’s bedroom looked exactly the same as I remembered it when he first took me here that one night. The entire space was visibly neat, perfectly organized and I don’t know if Jordi’s such a minimalist type of person but the space felt personalized somehow. All of his books and other stuff each are placed on their respective areas. Unlike every other teenager’s room, the walls of his room aren’t just riddled with a lot of posters from different sectors of pop culture. However, there’s this lone poster of a very familiar trio of villains. It was a poster of the team Rocket trio, Jessie, James and
JORDI ADKINSI wasn’t really highly expecting to go to sleep with a sound heart and a peaceful thought tonight. After that shenanigan with Xavier and his gang, I really had this rotten idea planted inside my head that I’m going to rest with a heavy heart and a confused thought. However, things drastically changed quickly than I would’ve ever imagined it would be. Perhaps, I was entirely wrong when I accused the odds for changing their initial plans for me.Not in a hundred years that I would’ve thought Xavier had the guts to apologize to me that quick. I mean, I know he’s capable of doing it because he’s already apologized for bullying me and all of that stuff. It’s just that I feel like things are going too intense and I never even asked for it. And this time, Xavier just proved to me that he’s more than ready to do whatever it takes to be with me. Or maybe that statement was
JORDI ADKINS“Hey there.” The curve on Xavier’s face was just the best thing to see when I’ve been growing impatient for the day to end. “I’m really glad that you showed up. I really thought you’re going to ditch me today.” Xavier babbled out.“Now, why would I ditch you?” I replied and I had to slowly look away careful not to let him see how I turned red. I really waited for this moment ever since I woke up this morning and while it took forever, I’m still happy that I’m giving this guy a chance.“I don’t know. I feel like I scared you last night. I was waiting for your reply”I immediately released a soft chuckle in direct response to Xavier. “Right. Those pick-up lines are corny as fuck.” I voiced out not really wanting to admit the fact that he did got me with those cheesy lines. Of course I’m not going to just tell him that I almost ran out of air because that’s basically me giving in. I’m not like one of those fickle and gullible girls who would easily fall for someone who’s jus
JORDI ADKINSI had to be quick with my hands. Before Xavier could even see all of the printed photos from the printing box, I quickly snatched the one photo where I kissed him on the cheek as a token. I know it was a blatant selfish move on my part and as much as I’m aware of what I did, the hopeless romantic version of me wanted to keep it.“Let me see the photos.” Jumping out of the booth, Xavier inched his way towards me and was now towering behind me.“Here.” I handed him all of the photos the we took while secretly hiding one behind my back. I slowly slipped the photo right into my pocket and pretended as if nothing happened.Xavier cinched his eyebrows on me. “This is it?”“Yeah.” I nodded nervously shaking on the inside.“Where’s the one where you kissed me?”“I think it wasn’t captured.” Gritting with such fraudulent innocence, I muttered. “Anyway, I would like to try that claw machine.” In light of the missing photo, I had to suggest something just to redirect his attention.
JORDI ADKINSThe floor doesn’t look very friendly with all of the dirt and the soda that was spilled but at this point, it’s the only friend that I have left other than myself. I sat on my knees for quite a while and helplessly watched as Chad and the rest of the senior members of the soccer team slowly walk out of my sight. Chad was holding Xavier by the arm most of the time and that sort of sealed the deal for me.No more Xavier Rockwell for me, I guess.Perhaps, I’ve been overly delusional with things between Xavier and I that I never really thought this through. Xavier and I are both living in two different worlds now that I’m beginning to think of it. He’s way too popular and I’m just the little gay loser that almost every single heterosexual man loved to poke fun at just because I don’t have the ability to fight back.I can’t even get over this rising thought that maybe, just maybe, Xavier and I aren’t really going to work out. We are never going to be written in the stars and w
XAVIER ROCKWELLHow many times have I fucked up in this lifetime? Definitely a lot of fucking times. If I’m going to count those times that I’ve fucked up with my fingers, I’m going to need more fingers and even more toes at that. Even so, this was the one time that I didn’t want to fuck things up. After what happened the first time, I swore to myself that I’m never going to fuck shit up with Jordi. I quickly repaired the bridge right before it collapses but things just went south right now and I might have actually burned that same exact bridge.I should probably kill myself right now. There’s no point in breathing more oxygen when I know I’ve already destroyed my relationship with Jordi just by simply doing nothing at all. The mere fact that I never did anything to stop or even at least distract Chad from pouring that soda right on Jordi’s head or even forcing Jordi to kiss his shoe was an unforgivable crime.When Chad showed up out of the blue, I almost want to grab Jordi’s hand an