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27TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS
The current reign of silence inside my room has never been deafening. Usually, when I’m all by myself, I play some loud ass music just so I wouldn’t have this feeling that I’m all alone. However, having Xavier’s unwanted presence here, I really thought I don’t need to play anything but to add to my already existing disappointment, he’s been quiet the entire time ever since I pulled him here. He was just sitting at the edge of my bed with his mouth tightly shut and for the most part, I was just sitting on my swivel chair pretending as if I’m doing something on my laptop. Billie was just displayed on one corner and the eyes the Xavier drew on her looked like she’s been watching me the entire time.
“Okay, I’m going to have to throw the towel here.” I began finally deciding to break the reign of silence myself. I said I don’t want to start the c
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The Badboy's Heartbeat 29TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLIt was the nerve. I put all of the blame on this sudden nervous state that I am currently in. Not only that it made feel less cool but it also pulled my tongue and tied it making me unable to utter a single word.I sat pretty timidly and quietly at the very edge of Jordi’s bed. My curious eyes were roaming around the room and I would say I remember everything. Vividly enough, Jordi’s bedroom looked exactly the same as I remembered it when he first took me here that one night. The entire space was visibly neat, perfectly organized and I don’t know if Jordi’s such a minimalist type of person but the space felt personalized somehow. All of his books and other stuff each are placed on their respective areas. Unlike every other teenager’s room, the walls of his room aren’t just riddled with a lot of posters from different sectors of pop culture. However, there’s this lone poster of a very familiar trio of villains. It was a poster of the team Rocket trio, Jessie, James and
The Badboy's Heartbeat 30TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI wasn’t really highly expecting to go to sleep with a sound heart and a peaceful thought tonight. After that shenanigan with Xavier and his gang, I really had this rotten idea planted inside my head that I’m going to rest with a heavy heart and a confused thought. However, things drastically changed quickly than I would’ve ever imagined it would be. Perhaps, I was entirely wrong when I accused the odds for changing their initial plans for me.Not in a hundred years that I would’ve thought Xavier had the guts to apologize to me that quick. I mean, I know he’s capable of doing it because he’s already apologized for bullying me and all of that stuff. It’s just that I feel like things are going too intense and I never even asked for it. And this time, Xavier just proved to me that he’s more than ready to do whatever it takes to be with me. Or maybe that statement was
The Badboy's Heartbeat 31ST HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“Hey there.” The curve on Xavier’s face was just the best thing to see when I’ve been growing impatient for the day to end. “I’m really glad that you showed up. I really thought you’re going to ditch me today.” Xavier babbled out.“Now, why would I ditch you?” I replied and I had to slowly look away careful not to let him see how I turned red. I really waited for this moment ever since I woke up this morning and while it took forever, I’m still happy that I’m giving this guy a chance.“I don’t know. I feel like I scared you last night. I was waiting for your reply”I immediately released a soft chuckle in direct response to Xavier. “Right. Those pick-up lines are corny as fuck.” I voiced out not really wanting to admit the fact that he did got me with those cheesy lines. Of course I’m not going to just tell him that I almost ran out of air because that’s basically me giving in. I’m not like one of those fickle and gullible girls who would easily fall for someone who’s jus
The Badboy's Heartbeat 32ND HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI had to be quick with my hands. Before Xavier could even see all of the printed photos from the printing box, I quickly snatched the one photo where I kissed him on the cheek as a token. I know it was a blatant selfish move on my part and as much as I’m aware of what I did, the hopeless romantic version of me wanted to keep it.“Let me see the photos.” Jumping out of the booth, Xavier inched his way towards me and was now towering behind me.“Here.” I handed him all of the photos the we took while secretly hiding one behind my back. I slowly slipped the photo right into my pocket and pretended as if nothing happened.Xavier cinched his eyebrows on me. “This is it?”“Yeah.” I nodded nervously shaking on the inside.“Where’s the one where you kissed me?”“I think it wasn’t captured.” Gritting with such fraudulent innocence, I muttered. “Anyway, I would like to try that claw machine.” In light of the missing photo, I had to suggest something just to redirect his attention.
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JORDI ADKINSThe floor doesn’t look very friendly with all of the dirt and the soda that was spilled but at this point, it’s the only friend that I have left other than myself. I sat on my knees for quite a while and helplessly watched as Chad and the rest of the senior members of the soccer team slowly walk out of my sight. Chad was holding Xavier by the arm most of the time and that sort of sealed the deal for me.No more Xavier Rockwell for me, I guess.Perhaps, I’ve been overly delusional with things between Xavier and I that I never really thought this through. Xavier and I are both living in two different worlds now that I’m beginning to think of it. He’s way too popular and I’m just the little gay loser that almost every single heterosexual man loved to poke fun at just because I don’t have the ability to fight back.I can’t even get over this rising thought that maybe, just maybe, Xavier and I aren’t really going to work out. We are never going to be written in the stars and w
The Badboy's Heartbeat 34TH HEARTBEAT
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The Badboy's Heartbeat 35TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLI feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind and I just want to start over again but it’s not going to happen. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of the sea and there’s no one there trying to rescue me other than myself.As the rush of alcohol entered my system, I began to feel like the entire world was plotting against me. For starters, I never wished to be born in a family that’s brazenly defined by the word complicated. Not only that my dad’s a cheating spineless bastard but my mom’s also a sunken shipwreck and that leaves me, a fucking mess. To make matters even worse, I’d have to live my life like I’m always out for myself.Life’s really quite an unpredictable rollercoaster riddled with ups and downs and spirals, and perhaps I’m taking that ride with my mom. In spite of that, I feel like I’m all alone on this ride.To be perfectly honest with myself, I haven’t met someone that I truly liked before and that’s until the moment I got trapped in Jordi’s mouth.
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