JORDI ADKINSI couldn’t bring myself to sleep the night that I came home from the hospital. I’m still shaking on the inside even after everything has gone down to a calm. Though he was already stable and was rescued from the brink of death, Xavier was still unconscious when my mom showed up to pick me up. As much as I want to stay the night and watch for the poor guy, his dad was there for him and I thought I wouldn’t be that person.In this universe, I guess there’s always this wide empty room for this certain thing called forgiveness. Only a few people are using that room, I guess. I was just reeling in about this certain thought in my head about Xavier forgiving his father. This is probably a chance given by the universe. I’m not saying I’m trying to invalidate Xavier’s feelings about his old man. Of course his pain and anger are very much valid no matter what sort of perspective you are trying to view it from, however, the clear question is up until when? Until when is he going to
JORDI ADKINSHearing Michiko’s fake soft good girl voice felt a lot more like someone just banged a gong right next to my eardrums. It was giving me a banging headache and I thought I was going to go full throttle with her. I thought I had the right courage to jump towards her and grab her by the hair before pulling her out of the room but I was more like a poor human petrified by Medusa. I had my foot planted on a certain spot and I was just thrown into this state of intrusive thoughts.I can’t fucking believe Michiko just told Mr. Rockwell that she’s Xavier’s girlfriend for Pete’s sake. That’s not fucking true and I would’ve disrupted her but I felt like my tongue’s left frozen. I was just standing in the corner clearly aware that I don’t have any say over what’s going on. Mr. Rockwell doesn’t know what’s going on between me and his gorgeous son and I know for sure that he doesn’t know his son’s made out of rainbows and unicorns.Am I even going to allow myself to out Xavier to his
XAVIER ROCKWELLI woke up in a daze or so that’s how I felt the moment I opened my eyes. My head’s feeling a little cranky, my vision was fuzzy and for some reasons, I feel like I’m floating on mid-air. It felt like I just had the longest slumber of my life and I was erratically confused to wake up in my bed at our tiny little apartment. I took some time breathe in and breathe out and then I suddenly heard a loud screaming and banging coming from the outside. I slowly propped myself up and sat on the bed as I quickly noticed myself dressed in a hospital gown. I slowly got up and then walking seemed like the easiest as if there’s some sort of wind carrying my own weight.When I brought myself outside to check on the ruckus, I was stupefied to see my mom and Hector going at each other’s throat. They were both yelling at the top of their lungs seemingly arguing about something I can’t even be
XAVIER ROCKWELLSometimes being alone effectively helps with your own thoughts and sanity. Even just for a sweet hour or half a day or even a full night. The utter silence feels like the widest and warmest embrace too and I’m glad that I’m spending the night alone in this hospital. It was my own choice and I’m very glad that I fought for it. My dad tried to assert his dominance over me trying to stay here with me but I already know what I want and I was even more adamant than him. In the end, he ended up letting me win the argument mostly because he’s a smart man and he knows he’s starting on his path to earning my forgiveness.Lying like a rock on my bed, I’m definitely starting to feel sore. It’s been two nights that I’m lying here basically doing nothing and I thought there was going to be no drama but I was dead ass wrong. Drama seemed to keep on finding me for some reasons
XAVIER ROCKWELLSpending the night alone again was somehow a blessing in disguise. I got the chance to lie down on my bed and without the exasperating presence of my mom and Hector, it felt heaven to me. I got the chance to actually make up my mind with the presence of silence that’s there to help me think. It was very much a self-reflecting moment and while I wasn’t expecting to talk myself this much, I may have enjoyed the solitary confinement.Jordi didn’t hold back earlier and everything that got out of his mouth made complete sense. He was right when he said he forgave me for everything that I’ve done to him and that I should at least give my dad a chance of the same chance that he gave me. I did a lot of unforgivable stuff towards Jordi and not only that he gave one but he basically swallowed his words and gave me a lot of chances. It takes a good heart to give out chances like they’re fly
JORDI ADKINSThe aromatic smell of freshly brewed coffee immediately invaded my nostril the moment I inched my way to our favorite café. I found Nikki and Jane already settled at our usual spot right at the very corner overlooking the street outside. We haven’t been here for almost two months and perhaps it’s because our lives have been so interesting. Jane’s very much busy hanging out with his college boyfriend. Nikki has been Nikki so far, she’s just out there partying and enjoying her life. And me. My life has drastically changed ever since I almost had a one night stand with my bully.“So, how was your boyfriend doing?” Jane asked and just as I settled down on my usual spot right in between her and Nikki. She slowly slid my order towards me.“He’s fine. He just got out of the hospital yesterday.” I replied grabbing the cup and slowly taking a huge sip of my iced-coffee.“So, Xavier’s fine? But why the long face though? Did something horrible happened at the hospital?” Nikki inquir
JORDI ADKINS“Why are you staring at me like that mom?” I stood right in front of the mirror looking at my shitty costume that my mom rushed to get me at some random store. Through the reflection, I could see my mom creeping up on me. “It’s creepy.”“I’m just... You’re a big boy now, Jordi.” She replied whimpering with such delight.“Mom, really?” I turned around to face her. “I’m about to turn eighteen in like three months from now. Why are you saying that as if I just turned fifteen yesterday. Quit treating me like a baby.” I went and it seemed that my mom’s not paying much attention to what I just said.“I just can’t believe my baby’s all grown up now.” She clutched her necklace staring at me as if she’s not ready to let me go out into the world. Although, she doesn’t actually need to know that I’ve been out there.“Er?...” I shook my head in utter annoyance.“It seems like yesterday you were just a crybaby and I’m just patching up your wounds here and there.” She breathes out just
JORDI ADKINS“Where are you taking me?” I inquired forced to trail behind Michiko who was just walking at such a fast pace as if someone’s running after her life.Michiko just ignored me and for a second, I was left hanging in the air thinking if I should just ditch her because frankly, I’m not friends with her or if should just be polite and follow her because she’s clearly the host of this party and I need to be in her good graces. I ended up choosing the latter.“This is my room.” She muttered once she led me inside this spacious abode adorned with lots of pink and girly stuff. The room felt definitely the gayest that I’ve seen in my entire life and I thought it was just some sort of a relaxation room and not her bedroom because it’s hell of a spacious room for just one person but I guess I just forgot that she’s filthy rich. “Welcome...”“Damn, Michiko. Your room looks more spacious than me and my parents’ room combined.” I said in awe.“Mich...”“What?”“My close friends call me