If I felt pressure to be a good leader and make the Shadowlands safe before, knowing Cherish was bringing our child into the world only sent it skyrocketing. She had joked she wouldn’t need any rest, lots of exercise. She was unfortunately wrong as within a week of having her pregnancy confirmed she was ruthlessly ill. The remaining human elements of her body struggled with the demands of a shifter pregnancy with the severity of her nausea leaving her stuck in the packhouse. She had the company of Martha, Penelope, and Violet. Martha told us not to worry, though Cherish would be able to carry our baby it was still an extreme experience for her body to go through. Still, she looked immaculate, snuggled under the white covers as the dawning sun peeped through the curtain, a pale lilac cotton nightdress on. Sat in the crook of my arm, her fingers lazily trailed up and down my bare chest, toying with my chest hair. Every breath I took had that gorgeous hint of berries, if she wasn’t so p
I barely recognised the copper-haired bear of a man who stumbled towards me. Then again, I imagine he didn’t expect to find me the size of a house either. When I discovered I was carrying twins I was utterly tormented. Did I write to Ivan, knowing the risk of going into labour earlier than expected or trust in the Moon Goddess and every unseen plan she had that he would have enough time to get home? Martha has been a constant source of help. Her aromatherapy, baths and oils have got me through the worst of the discomfort. With Ivan absent, Jackson and I have had to run the pack. Thankfully Jackson is the sweetest and most loyal of Ivan’s friends. I sometimes wonder with a shudder what would have happened if someone like Anders had never been uncovered. If Ivan had trusted him to stay behind how many weeks would he have waited before unveilinghis sinister nature? Thankfully, and with Jackson’s help I continued to keep building relations. When the freeze came, we created an ice ri
Gradually I pulled him up to standing, “you need a sleep, you look like you haven’t slept properly since the day you left.” He ruffled the back of his hair, grinning, “you’re right. Why are you always right?” I raised myself unsteadily onto my tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips. A gentle little kiss but the scent of apples was like a rush of adrenalin as Halo whined for more. Heading back to our suite he gasped at the changes made. Not knowing if we were having a boy, girl or any combination of both genders our room had a simple, plain white large crib. It was waiting for us at the far end of the room, new cupboards installed ready for all the clothes, bootees, toys and games we would need. I wanted the babies with us as much as possible. The packhouse wasn’t huge, for now they would be fine living with us. Deep down, without Ivan here perhaps I had been worried about safety too. Not knowing how safe the pack was, I wanted our babies where I could see them. Perhaps Ivan wasn’t
It almost felt like the first time I saw Cherish in the Cage. The way her ocean blue eyes shone up at me, shimmering with tears and fear destroyed Kohl and me. The idea that she might not be a good mother, I didn’t dare ask how long she had felt like that. How many weeks of my snow-bound farmer-questioning had she spent trying to blindly pull wool together? Waking first in the morning I went back to the cupboard. Every colour under the rainbow was there. So many attempted items that she had pushed away in shame. Crouched on the floor I found her original instructions, handwritten, presumably by Martha, crumpled and thrown away. Smirking, I decided to give it a go. Sitting on the sofa with a ball of blue wool and knitting needles I stared at the tangled nonsense in front of me. I had this image of me cheekily placing a little pair of gloves or booties on the pillow before she woke but the twisting, threading, repetitive motion had me completely confused. As I stared down, huffing aw
All I could think of was that Bella was meant to be here. She promised when we met that she would be here. My mind was racing as scalding hot fluid seeped from me, my waters broken and releasing more liquid everytime I tried to move. Giving birth naturally as a human was never going to be fun. Giving birth to shifting, werewolf twins meant there was a genuine risk I might die. I lay in our bathroom suite, the cool tiles soothing my overheated skin. Before all the chaos I’d had a longer rest than normal, pondering how happy I was to have Ivan return when my waters broke. As I mind-linked him I then remembered to call Martha with the bell. Ivan beat her to it, charging into the room red-faced and terrified, “Cherish is it time? Are you okay!” “There aren’t any contractions yet but my waters have broken so we have a few hours.” “Jackson!” he yelled in panic before remembering the mind-link. Then he took my hands and kissed me, guiding me to the large chair next to the bath. “I’ve
There was no turning back now, it was go-time. No more giddy jokes, no more waking up surprised at the increased size of my bump. I was going to be a mother. The concepts left me feeling dizzy at the very moment I needed to be focused and sharp. I downed a cup of the broth offered by Martha, slurping it down greedily, as if it could take away the searing pain my exhausted muscles were in. “Okay…okay….I can do this,” I whimpered. “Ivan, come where I can see you,” as I felt the pain rising once more I did as they asked. I gripped the side of the bathtub, my feet planted on the ground as I howled in pain, my eyes fixed on Ivan’s face. He looked so proud, he wasn’t terrified by my noises, the obvious bloodshed and pain, he made me feel like a superhero. “We almost had a head then! Next one, next one they’re ready to come!” Bella shouted as I panted and braced myself. Sure enough, even faster and more blindingly intense than the first I fought and pushed until a huge wave of pressure an
So I’m a father now. A week in and every time those little cries start up it hits me over the head. I’m sure the realisation will sink in soon. Cherish is fantastic, of course. I thank the Moon Goddess every day that I was home in time for her to confess her fears to me, before her labour started. It would appear labour can vanish from the minds of women very quickly. Cherish even jokes about having another, as if the bloody carnage that revealed itself never happened. For me it is burnt into my memories. Coupled with the joy of the babies safe delivery was the terror at seeing how her body was pushed to it’s limits. Deep down there was some guilt, her wolf gave so much of its strength to me in order to pull me through that final attack. There was a deep-seated fear that somehow, I was responsible for her pain and suffering. However the little ones were just amazing. Genevieve and Cillian. Their blue eyes peeping in wonder, fascinated by the world around them. Not only am I a fath
We settled into a blissful domestic routine over the next three months. I spent the morning working in the office, holding meetings and discussions about the pack. Spring was fast approaching and each member of the Battalion was undergoing intensive training about the farming techniques we had learnt. Then I intended to send them to each district to pass on their new techniques. It sounds boring but I had decided I was going to be a hands-on Alpha. Why shouldn’t I get involved in learning about fertiliser, I’m not above digging in and never will be. Especially now I probably cannot go directly into battle again. Both Kohl and Halo have been through so much. It feels like tempting Fate to risk our happiness.The Shadowlands had resources capable of supplying every pack in the nation, there was no reason such fertile, available land couldn’t make the people of this place wealthy and secure. Now was our time. The mood in the town was buoyant. Cherish descended more frequently from our